Only Three Months to Live
by Victor Thomas
Chapter 4
I have a boyfriend!
That was my first thought as I awakened the next morning. I almost couldn't believe it. Leif was the most amazing boy in school. He was kind, handsome, funny, smart, sexy, built, and… I could probably keep listing things all day. He was incredible. He had even befriended Taryn Yates, the biggest bully in school, and the bane of my existence since first grade. That was almost more amazing than Leif becoming my boyfriend.
Yesterday was the best and worst day of my life. That would be hard to imagine if I wasn't me, but it made perfect sense. Leif became my boyfriend and I learned he had a terminal illness all in the same day.
I knew I was letting myself in for a lot of pain, but I also knew it would be foolish to pass up whatever time I could have with him. I had learned to squeeze every moment of happiness out of life I could because sometimes those moments were few and far between. Besides, he was my friend. I loved him and he needed me. I wasn't about to turn my back on him and walk away. Without him, I would have no friends. I would never repay his kindness with abandonment. I was determined to stick with him until the end.
"Why are you smiling like an idiot?" Anthony said as he returned to our room from his shower. "Wait, let me guess. You are an idiot."
"Funny!"
He eyed me as he pulled on boxer briefs and jeans.
"Is my little brother no longer a virgin? Did you and Leif get it on?"
"What makes you think something is going on between Leif and me?"
"Oh please! You practically pant when he's near."
I grinned.
"We kissed."
He smiled.
"I'm glad."
"Me too! I have a boyfriend!"
"You might want to keep it down unless you are ready to come out to the rest of the family."
"Oh. Right. Actually, I probably should, come out that is. I think it's time."
He nodded.
"I think everyone will be cool with it, but whatever happens, I love you, and I've got your back."
I stared at him.
"Who are you and what have you done with my brother?"
"You'll never know. Ba-ha-ha-ha."
"I want to tell everyone in the world."
"Wow, you've become a flaming homo overnight."
I threw my pillow at him. It hit him in the face, but he laughed and threw it back.
"Is this a pillow fight?" Chad asked from the doorway.
He dashed into the room, grabbed Anthony's pillow and began to pummel us both with it.
"Let's get him. You take his legs," Anthony said.
He grabbed Chad by the arms. With some difficulty, I grabbed his legs. We lifted him into the air.
"How tall do you want to be, Chad?" Anthony asked as we pulled in different directions.
"Six inches taller than you so I can look down on you."
"Okay. On the count of three, Owen. One, two, three."
We pulled, but not too hard. Chad squealed and laughed. We put him down and he stood.
"It didn't work. I guess you'll have to stay a little shrimp," I said.
"Grr!"
I laughed. Chad eyed me.
"Why are you so happy? You're usually grumpy! Is it a girl?"
"No, it's a boy," I said.
I was serious about coming out and this was a good way to do it. Chad could not keep his mouth shut about anything.
"A boy?"
"Yes, I have a boyfriend. I'm gay. Do you know what that means?"
"Well, duh! It means you're a big homo!" He giggled, then hugged me. "I'm glad you have a boyfriend. I like to see you happy."
Aliens had obviously replaced my brothers. There was no other explanation.
"Thanks, Chad."
"I love you," he said.
"I love you too."
He released me, then looked up at me.
"Have you guys done it yet?"
"No! Do you even know what gay boys do?"
"Yeah! They take it up the butt. Unh! Unh!"
Good Lord Jesus! I can't believe this boy.
"You know way too much for an eleven-year-old," Anthony said.
"That's because I'm the smart brother."
Anthony grabbed for him, and Chad squealed and raced from the room.
"You know he'll tell everyone," he said.
"Yeah. I figured it was easier than telling them myself."
"You've changed so much lately, it's like you're a different person."
"You can thank or blame Leif."
"How the hell did you get a boyfriend like him? I think he's the most attractive guy I've ever seen in my life."
"Hey, hands off! He's mine!"
"Funny. Even the girls in my class go crazy over him, and that's not normal. Junior girls usually ignore freshmen. Hell, I've seen teachers checking him out."
"He recognized my awesomeness I suppose."
"I can see your ego inflating as we speak."
I gave him my best smart-ass grin.
"I think you're jealous because my boyfriend is cuter than any girl you've ever had."
He laughed.
Mom gazed at me curiously when Anthony and I came downstairs for breakfast. Chad had obviously blabbed everything.
"It's true," I said, as I buttered my toast. "I have a boyfriend. You met him, Leif, although we weren't boyfriends then."
"I'm… astonished," she said.
"Being gay is no big deal anymore, mom," Anthony said.
She gazed at him, somewhat alarmed.
"I'm not gay. Don't worry; you'll still get grandchildren. If you'd like me to start on one soon…"
"That will not be necessary."
He looked at me and grinned, then winked.
"Well, sweetheart… I'm… happy that you have a boyfriend. I'm surprised, but… I'm happy. I love you, Owen."
"I love you too," I said.
She nearly looked like she was going to cry and I knew it wasn't because she just found out I'm gay. I hadn't told her I loved her in a long time.
"Do you think dad will be okay with it?" I asked.
"Of course he will," Chad said.
"I know your father isn't around much, but he loves you, Owen. He'll be fine with it."
She chewed her lip, so I wondered if she had doubts. I hoped he was okay with it because I didn't want to strain my parent's already precarious marriage.
"My. Leif. He is one handsome boy," she said.
"He's much too good for Owen, but there is no accounting for taste," Anthony said.
He is not too good for Owen! Owen is awesome!" Chad said.
Seriously. This wasn't my family. These were imposters.
"I can't believe he likes me," I said.
"You have a lot going for you, Owen," Anthony said.
Mom looked at him. She obviously noticed a change too.
"Well, maybe, but Leif is… amazing," I said, almost sighing.
"I don't know if I can withstand Owen in love," Anthony said. "You're going all dreamy."
"A girl will make you that way someday soon I'm sure, Anthony," mom said.
"No comment."
Chad took over the conversation and blabbed all through the remainder of breakfast, adding normalcy to an otherwise unusual morning. He prattled on and on. The kid was definitely a motor mouth.
After breakfast, I went back upstairs and finished getting ready for school. I looked at myself in the mirror. What did Leif see in me? I was nowhere near as handsome as him. I wished I had nicer clothes to wear, but then again, he didn't care about that. He liked me for me. That thought made me smile.
"Listen, I don't think anyone will give you much trouble, but if they do, let me know and I will fuck them up," Anthony said as he stuffed his books into his backpack.
"Thanks," I said.
"If there is anyone I can't handle alone, I'll get backup from some of my teammates. I have your back, bro."
I hugged him.
"Hey, don't wrinkle the shirt, homo. I have to look good for the babes."
I laughed. This was more like the old Anthony.
Leif met me at my locker before first period and grinned at me. he leaned in and kissed me. it did not go unnoticed.
"I should probably have asked before doing that," he said.
"It's okay. I came out to my family this morning."
"Yeah? That's big. How did it go?"
"Great. My dad wasn't there, but mom and Chad are cool with it. Anthony already knew. They all know we're dating now."
"Do you think your dad will be okay with it? I could probably get my dad to talk to him if he's not."
"I figure he will be. Mom is going to tell him. I almost never get to see him. Mom and dad are having problems, so he works all the time. I don't think he wants to spend much time at home."
"That's too bad. Maybe things will work out."
"I hope so."
"Come on. I'll walk you to class."
"Thanks. Are you… feeling good?" I asked, carefully wording my question because I had promised to tell no one about his illness.
"Yep, I'm fine."
"Good."
I smiled. I hoped he would stay fine as long as possible.
When our lunch period arrived, we sat down at our usual table with trays of chicken and cheese quesadillas, Mexican rice, and refried beans.
"Owen and I have an announcement," he said.
"You're getting married? You're serial killers," David said.
"One of you is pregnant?" Keaton said.
"Ignore them. What is your news?" Paula asked.
"You want to tell them, or should I?" Leif asked me.
"You tell them," I said, blushing just a little.
"Owen and I are officially boyfriends."
"So, you'll soon be getting married," David said.
"And one of you will soon be pregnant, or at least you'll try hard to get pregnant," Keaton said.
"You are so immature," Paula said. "Congratulations."
"Thanks!" Leif and I said together.
"I don't know if I can take this. Look at them, they're getting cutesy already," David said when Leif and I grinned at each other.
"I think they're adorable," Paula said.
"Maybe we can post YouTube videos of them being adorable. It's too bad you aren't cats," Keaton said.
"Sorry to disappoint you," Leif said.
"You can come back as cats in your next life," Keaton said.
I stiffened for a moment, but Leif gave no hint the comment bothered him. Little did our friends know how close he was to his next life, if there was such a thing.
"Maybe I should get a boyfriend," Keaton said.
"You don't have to do everything Leif and Owen do," Paula said.
"Well, if they jump off a cliff, I'm definitely not doing that."
"Well, don't look at me if you're searching for a boyfriend. I'm not even sure I like guys," David said.
"Perhaps you're asexual," I said.
"Oh, I'm definitely not asexual. Sometimes, I think I'm going to explode!"
"Don't do that near me," Paula said, causing us all to laugh.
"Hmm, this began with Leif helping Owen to study. Perhaps I should pick out one of the hottest jocks and offer to tutor him," Keaton said.
"There's a problem with that. If you're looking for a boyfriend, you need a boy who is into guys. Picking a jock based on looks will most likely not get you a boyfriend," Leif said.
"It might get you a punch in the face if you feel him up," David said.
"Hey, I have more class than that! Besides, I will do some investigating and pick one who is likely gay."
"You know, you can't tell by looking, right?" I asked.
"Yes, and you can't tell by mannerisms. You know the gay stereotypes are misleading," Leif said.
"Yes, like Jameson Newell. He's the most feminine boy in school and he's been in every play since the fifth grade. He even dresses 'gay'," Paula said, making quotation marks with her fingers.
"Yeah, I had him pegged for gay. I thought there was no doubt. He's a total flamer," David said.
"He's the gayest boy in school, except for the fact he's heterosexual," Paula said.
"Are you certain?" Keaton asked.
"Yes. I have a girlfriend who dated Jameson and he's definitely straight and exceptionally… um… well endowed."
"So, he has a big one, huh?" I asked.
"That's what I was trying not to say."
"You girls love the big ones, don't you?" Keaton asked mischievously.
"I will smack you. Besides, you gay boys like big ones as well, don't you?"
"The bigger the better," I said, looking over at Leif and Keaton.
They both nodded their heads and grinned.
"Even his name sounds gay. That is an odd name for a boy," David said.
"The point is that he's obviously gay if we go by the stereotypes, but he's not gay," she said.
"He's also a really nice guy," Leif said.
"You say that about everyone, but I agree," Keaton said.
"So, you're going to have to do some serious research to find a gay jock," Paula said.
"Yes, and that does not include asking random jocks if they want a blow job," I said.
"Funny, Owen!"
"That wouldn't help anyway. There are straight jocks who will let a guy blow them," David said.
We all looked at him.
"I don't mean I… I have a friend who is a jock and is only into girls, but he lets his cousin blow him."
"A friend, right," I said, winking.
"Incest, kinky," Keaton said.
"I hate you guys."
"We're just messing with you," I said.
"Yeah… we're messing with you," Keaton said in an insincere tone.
David growled.
It didn't take long for word to spread about Leif and me, but it was only a big geal because half the girls in school were in love with him. I'm sure it was a big disappointment to the girls and a big relief to the boys. Leif was serious competition, so I'm sure the boys were delighted to discover he wasn't into girls.
Besides, being gay wasn't that uncommon in our school. Back in the spring, Cole Summers had come out as gay, along with his friend Dakota, although they aren't dating each other. And I'm sure there are others who just haven't come out yet. And there have been others in the past. Hell, our football coach, Coach Barrett is gay. That freaks some people out, but most are cool with it.
I felt like everyone was staring at me throughout the afternoon. I wasn't imagining it either. Girls followed me with their eyes as I passed and whispered among themselves. They were probably wondering why Leif was into me. I don't blame them. I didn't understand either.
Boys also followed me with their eyes, probably wondering the same thing. I didn't sense hostility from any of them, merely curiosity. I doubted I would need the protection of my big brother and his football teammates. I was lucky to live in a place where being gay was no big deal.
I passed Taryn in the hallway and he actually nodded to me. I smiled at him. It was a short encounter, but significant. I was accustomed to receiving glares from him. My world had changed.
When I walked to my locker at the endo of the day, Leif was waiting on me.
"Want to come to my house and study this afternoon?" I asked.
"Sure, that will be cool."
"Chad might be an annoyance, but you can smack him if you want."
"I love violence. I smack Grayson all the time just for kicks."
"You big liar!"
He laughed.
"I bet you don't hit Chad either."
"No, but there have been times I seriously wanted to punch him in the face. Actually, I've started to like him better recently. He is a pain in the ass at times, but he just want's attention."
"I've never wanted to hit Grayson."
"Of course not. Your family is perfect. Walking into your house is like walking into a Hallmark Christmas movie."
"Oh, I love those."
His eyes lit up, but then he suddenly looked very sad. I gazed at him.
"Sorry," he said. "I just… I just realized I won't make it to Christmas this year. I love Christmas. I love the music and the Christmas movies, and looking at Christmas magazines. That whole time of year is so special.
I took his hand and then kissed him.
"There is no reason to be sorry," I said, even as an idea formed in my head. "I can't begin to imagine what it's like for you, but I am here for you. Anytime you want to talk about it, go for it."
"Thanks. I might do that, but mostly I like to focus on the present. I try to enjoy every moment as much as I can."
"I do that too. Before I met you, well… you know. Things were bad and I didn't see any way out, except by taking myself out. I tried to snatch any little bit of happiness I could, but there didn't seem much to grab. I realize now that there was much more than I thought. I owe you that and my life. I wish I could trade places with you."
"I don't. I would not allow anyone to trade places with me, even if they could. Owen, when I'm gone, don't get any ideas about killing yourself, okay. I need you to live for me. I need you to enjoy like as much as possible. I don't know if that makes sense to you, but please, live."
I nodded.
"I will. I know losing you will be hard, but one thing you've taught me is that life is precious. I know that sounds crazy and all, but it's true. I nearly made a huge mistake. You saved me. I won't throw what you've given me away."
He kissed me, more deeply this time.
"Good. Now, no more of this talk. I want to focus on now," he said.
"You love algebra and French that much, huh?"
"Truthfully, yes, but that's not what I meant!"
"You are one of a kind."
"Thanks."
We walked toward the rear entrance of the school as we always did. It was odd; him and I had not known each other all that long and yet we had developed habits, such as our route when we departed from school.
We had no more than stepped out the back doors when we spotted Taryn sitting on a bench near the parking lot. Without speaking, we headed toward him. As we did so, several members of the football team burst out the door and ran toward their cars, no doubt heading for football practice. Leif watched them with a longing expression on his face. I remembered then that he had been a football player in California. I'm sure the real reason he didn't play here was his tumor. Not playing had to be hard on him.
"Hey, Taryn," Leif said as we approached.
Taryn looked up and actually smiled. The sight still shocked me.
"Absolutely nothing."
Leif and I looked at each other.
"Would you like to come study with us and hang out?" I asked.
I couldn't believe I was asking, but the words were coming out of my mouth.
"Really?" Taryn asked, clearly as shocked by my question as I was by his smile.
"Yeah."
"It will be fun," Leif said.
"Studying fun? There's something wrong with you guys, isn't there?"
Leif and I laughed. I had never heard Taryn joke before.
"Yes, but it probably won't rub off on you," Leif said. "Come on, join us."
"Okay," Taryn said with ore than a slight touch of eagerness in his voice.
"Leif is very good at explaining things. He even explains algebra so I can understand it, and that's quite a feat."
"I can never get math, not that I try much," Taryn said.
"You will after you spend time with Leif."
"I don't know. I'm not that bright."
"That's what I thought of myself before I met him. I'm in pre-algebra. In other words, the slow group," I said.
I felt like I was in a very long dream. Perhaps it was like that film we watched in English last year. It was about a Civil War soldier who was being executed by hanging. The noose was around his neck, but when he was pushed off the bridge, he slipped free, swam to safety and made it all the way back home. Only, as he was running toward his girl, he was suddenly back on the bridge with the noose around his neck. He had daydreamed his entire life.
My life felt like that film. It seemed extremely unlikely that a boy like Leif would be friends with a boy like me, much less be gay and become my boyfriend. It was just as unlikely that I would take an interest in school and actually understand algebra and begin speaking French. My family acting as they had been recently was like something out of a dream too. Maybe it was all a dream. Maybe I was about to jump off the bleachers and hang myself. If this was a dream and I found myself back in that moment, I wasn't going to jump. Even if none of what had happened recently was real, Leif had taught me the value of living.
"Owen?"
"Huh?"
"You were off in space," Leif said.
"Oh, sorry. I was thinking about French."
He smiled.
"You were not!"
"No. I was thinking about this film we watched in English last year."
I explained the film to him and Taryn and how I felt like my recent life was unreal, like a dream.
"I remember that film. If this is a dream, at least you don't have to worry about being executed," Taryn said.
"Yeah," I said.
"Little did he know that I had almost executed myself.
"Hey, is it true you guys are dating?" Taryn asked.
"It's true," Leif said, grinning.
"That's really cool. Um… listen, don't tell anyone this, but… I'm gay too."
My mouth dropped open.
"Really?" I asked, much too loudly. "Sorry. Really?"
He nodded.
"Being gay is not a big deal," Leif said.
"It is in my family. If my dad found out, he'd kill me. I mean, he would really kill me."
"I'm sorry," I said, and I really meant it.
"We won't tell anyone," Leif said.
"Yeah, you can trust us. I'm… uh… starting to like you," I said.
"I do like you, Taryn," Leif said.
"Really?" he asked, looking at us in turn.
"Absolutely," Leif said.
"Yeah, I've always thought you were a big asshole and you have bullied me for years, but you aren't acting like that now."
"Maybe this isn't such a good idea," Taryn said, stopping.
"No. It is a good idea. All that is in the past," I said.
"I'm sorry for what I did to you," he said.
"It's okay."
"It's not really. I'll try to make it up to you. If anyone messes with you, I'll pound them."
I grinned.
"I like that."
He actually laughed.
We continued on and soon reached my house. I was still kind of ashamed for Leif to see it, but he had never once looked down on my home, family, or me. I had started cleaning up my side of the room too, because I didn't want him to think I was a pig.
"This is nice," Taryn said.
What's more, he meant it. It made me wonder where he lived.
"Thanks. My room is upstairs."
We passed Anthony on the stairs. He spotted Taryn and grabbed me by the arm.
"I'll catch up with you guys in a minute," I told them.
"What is he doing here?"
"We invited him to study with us."
"Taryn Yates? I doubt he can even read. He's trouble. Everyone knows that. He'll probably steal shit."
"He's nicer than you think."
"Since when are you a member of his fan club?"
"Since yesterday. I'll tell you about it later, but relax. It's all good. Why are you home? Shouldn't you be at football practice?"
"I pulled a tendon yesterday. Coach Barrett and the team doctor are making me sit out the rest of the week. It blows."
"I think you're just a slacker." He raised his fist as if he was going to belt me, but he was only kidding. "I have to go. They're waiting on me."
I hurried up the stairs.
"Okay, where do we start?" Leif asked when I walked in.
"I could use some help with algebra," I said.
"I'm hopeless at math," Taryn said.
"We'll see what we can do about that," Leif said.
Taryn was hopeless at math, at least when we started. He didn't know anything. Leif worked his magic and I explained things too. I noticed that as I taught Taryn, I began to understand algebra better myself.
Taryn was childishly pleased when he got something right. We were a lot alike in a way. Both of us thought we were stupid, but when the right person came along to help us, we could learn. I had already realized I wasn't dumb. I hoped Taryn would soon realize that about himself too. It was odd how quickly I had started to car about him. I think Leif was rubbing off on me. He cared about everyone.
Taryn caught onto French with amazing rapidity, even though he knew almost nothing at the beginning. He had a knack for it I didn't. That's not to say he was speaking French after an hour, but he progressed quickly.
"You have a real talent for languages," Leif told him.
"You think?"
"You're picking up French very fast."
"You've almost caught up with me! Soon, you'll be helping me," I said.
He grinned and when he did so, he was handsome. I hadn't paid much attention to his looks before, other than to note his muscles, which intimidated me. He was built. He was quite handsome when he smiled. I liked his dirty blond hair and I noticed for the first time his eyes were green.
"I never tried before. There didn't seem to be any point," he said.
"I love to learn things, merely for the sake of learning them," Leif said.
"You might as well know now, Leif is a little weird," I said, grinning.
"I'm basically a nerd."
"I wouldn't go for that."
"J'aime bien apprendre," Taryn said.
Leif laughed.
"What does that mean?" I asked.
"I kind of like learning this."
"I take back what I said earlier. You have not almost caught up with me. You have passed me," I said.
Mom stuck her head in and asked Leif and Taryn to stay for supper. They eagerly agreed, especially Taryn. We continued to study and I had never seen Taryn so happy. Come to think of it, I had never seen him happy. Ever. I had never seen him smile before yesterday. It was truly sad. If I was that unhappy, perhaps I'd be a bully too. No, I had been very unhappy. It didn't make me a bully, but it nearly caused me to commit suicide.
Chad darted in and told us supper was ready a little over an hour later. I could smell spaghetti before we even neared the kitchen. We had spaghetti a lot, but moms was great so I didn't mind too much.
"This is incredible," Taryn said after he tasted his.
"It is very good," Leif said.
"Thank you both."
Mom had made garlic toast and served applesauce, which went well with spaghetti. Everything was delicious. We didn't have fancy meals like Leif did at his home, but mom worked hard to feed us something good. I'd never stopped to think before how difficult that was.
"Chad, Taryn is a fan of Big Hero 6 ," I said.
Anthony raised his eyebrows.
"Really? That's my favorite movie!" Chad said. "I want to be Hiro!"
"I've always loved Baymax," Taryn said.
Anthony loosened up a bit around Taryn as Taryn and Chad animatedly talked about Big Hero 6 . I was amazed to see Taryn so into a conversation with an eleven-year-old.
Mom had made brownies with her special frosting for dessert. We devoured them. I was sure Leif was used to better, but he seemed to genuinely love mom's cooking.
"Do you want to watch Big Hero 6 ?" Chad asked Taryn. "I still have it from the library."
"He keeps it checked out most of the time," I said.
"They have more than one copy," he said.
"I would love to, but we have more studying to do," Taryn said. Chad frowned. "You know what? If Owen and Leif don't mind, maybe I could watch it with you while they study."
"We could finish studying tomorrow, since tomorrow is Saturday" Leif said.
"Why don't you boys spend the night, if that's okay with your parents," mom said.
I liked the thought of Leif spending the night.
"That would be great. I'm sure my parents won't mind. I'll call and ask," Leif said, pulling out his phone.
"My parents don't care where I am," Taryn said.
I could detect sadness in his voice.
"Are you sure it will be okay and that they won't worry?" mom asked.
"They probably won't notice I'm gone. Believe me, they will not be worried."
"Well, you are very welcome to spend the night."
"Thanks," he said and I could tell he truly meant it.
If anyone had ever told me that Taryn Yates would be sleeping over at my house, and that him, Leif, and I would be watching a movie with my little brother, I would have thought they were crazy, but that's exactly what happened.
Leif and I sat on the couch, but Taryn and Chad stretched out on the floor. I had seen bits and pieces of Big Hero 6 lots of times since Chad watched it over and over, but I had never watched the movie. It's ridiculous, but I developed a crush on Hiro as I did so. I wasn't about to tell anyone, but I thought he was cute and kind of sexy. Leave it to me to have a crush on an animated character.
I looked at Leif sitting beside me. We smiled at each other and I held his hand. He was way better than an animated character. I wished we could spend our lives together, but I would take what I could get.
I got into the movie. While I was not in love with it like Chad, I wouldn't mind watching it again sometime, not a few times a week like my crazy little brother, but maybe in a few weeks or months. I still thought Hiro was a cutie!
Chad pounced on Taryn as soon as the movie was over and they wrestled. My little brother had obviously taken up with Taryn and surprisingly, Taryn didn't mind. Leif and I laughed as we watched the pair wrestle, especially when Taryn pretended Chad overpowered him. I was fast learning that I'd seriously misjudged Taryn.
We stayed up late talking and playing games with Chad. Even Anthony joined in. if Leif was home, he could be playing with his game system or surfing the internet, but he seemed content to be with us for our low-tech evening. He could have easily been a stuck-up snob, but instead he was the kindest boy I knew. Why did a boy like him have to die when truly nasty people lived on and on?
We went upstairs and took turns in the bathroom to get ready for bed. Just before Chad departed for his turn, he did the Hiro/Baymax fist bump with Taryn. Now that I'd seen the movie, it made sense. I laughed when Taryn said, "falalala," almost exactly like Baymax.
"You have a very cool little brother," he said when Chad had disappeared.
"You can have him if you want him," I said with a grin.
"I would love to have a brother like him and a family like yours. You're lucky in a lot of ways, Owen," he said, looking back and forth between Leif and me.
"Yeah, I'm beginning to understand that."
"Owen, could you come downstairs for a moment?" mom called from the first floor.
I stood and walked downstairs.
"We need to talk about sleeping arrangements." I could feel my face pale slightly. "I'm fine with Leif spending the night, but if you're thinking about him sharing your bed, forget it."
"Mom! Come on. Anthony and Taryn will only be a few feet from us."
"Don't mom me. You're not sleeping in the same bed."
"Okay."
"I think you make a very cute couple. Leif is a wonderful boy," she said.
I blushed.
"Yeah, he is. Um, I'll give Taryn my bed and Leif and I can sleep in sleeping bags on the floor."
"Okay, that will work as long as you behave yourselves."
I know I blushed more.
"We will."
She hugged me.
"I'm very happy for you, Owen, and so is your dad. We love you."
"Are… are you and dad going to get a divorce?"
It seemed the right time to ask since we were having a moment.
"I don't know, honey."
"I hope it's okay that Leif and Taryn are spending the night."
"Of course it is. I suggested it, remember."
"Yes, but I know we don't have much money. I was thinking I could mow lawns or something to help out. I know feeding two extra boys is probably expensive."
"You let me worry about that. I don't want you to get a job. I want you to enjoy being a kid while you can."
"Thanks, mom."
"I love you, Owen."
"I love you too."
I smiled. I had sometimes wondered in the past if my parents cared about me. sometimes I was sure they didn't, but I guess I'd been wrong about that too. I was good at being wrong about things.
"You're taking my bed, Taryn. Leif and I will be in sleeping bags on the floor," I said when I entered my bedroom.
"I don't want to take your bed. I can sleep on the floor."
"Nope. You're taking my bed. Don't argue or I'll have Chad rough you up. We all know he can beat you wrestling."
"Okay! Okay!"
"Thanks for being nice to my little brother."
"He's awesome! I seriously wish I had a brother like him."
"Hey, like I said, you can have him. Take him home with you tomorrow. Please! I'll pay you five bucks to take him!"
"I might even chip in," Anthony said.
"Ha. Ha. You'd miss him."
"Maybe, but I'd get over it."
"Um, do you guy's mind if I sleep naked? I always do," Taryn said.
Hell no, I thought. Despite him being a bully, or a former bully apparently, Taryn is a very good-looking boy. I wish Leif would suggest the same thing. Mom wouldn't approve, but what she doesn't know…
"It doesn't bother me. I see guys naked all the time in the locker room and showers," Anthony said.
"Oh yeah, you play football, right?"
"No. He just likes to hang out in the locker room and showers. He's a pervert," I said.
"I'm a football player" Anthony said.
"Same thing," I said.
"Watch it, little brother."
"I don' t mind. I see my brothers naked all the time," Leif said.
"It's fine with me. I see Anthony naked all the time. If you weren't here, he'd be naked right now. He's an exhibitionist."
"Keep it up, Owen, and I'll make you cry in front of your friends."
I pretended to be frightened. Taryn laughed and then pulled off his shirt. Jesus! I knew he was strong, but damn, what a body!
"You should go out for football, Taryn," Anthony said. "You look like you could knock a lineman on his ass."
"I doubt I'd fit in."
"Hey, don't try to seduce Taryn to join your weird jock cult. They're freaks, Taryn. Stay away from them." I suddenly remembered that Leif had played football back in California. I gulped and turned to him. "Um, sorry. Only the jocks here are weird. I'm sure they weren't in San Diego."
"Smooth save, little brother," Anthony said, laughing.
I blushed.
"No, we were weird too. We sacrificed chocolate cake to the football gods while wearing only jock straps," Leif said, so seriously I could almost believe him.
He grinned at me and I sighed.
Between the thought of all those football players in only their jock straps, plus Taryn standing there shirtless was causing me serious problems, if you know what I mean. I was in serious need of some relief. I briefly considered returning to the bathroom to take care of things, but decided against it.
Anthony stripped for bed and I noticed Leif checking him out. Who could blame him? My brother was hot! I know that's weird, but give me a fucking break, okay.
I stole a few looks at Taryn's stuff as he stripped naked, and I noticed Leif looking as well. He had a really think one. I was so turned on I quickly stripped to my boxer briefs and slipped into the sleeping bag before anyone noticed.
I tried not to be obvious about checking Leif out as he pulled off his shirt and shorts, but he was so hot I couldn't keep my eyes off him. He noticed me looking and just smiled. His body was perfect. He was muscular and defined. I wanted to lick him all over. Hopefully I will be able to do that very soon.
Anthony turned off the lights as Leif slipped into his sleeping bag. Sleeping right next to him was going to be maddening and tempting. If I had the nerve, I could easily reach over and touched him. I didn't think I had the nerve and I didn't want him to think I was a perv. It was also far too risky with Anthony and Taryn in the room. I didn't think Anthony really cared what we did and Taryn probably didn't either, but they were only feet away.
I almost couldn't believe Taryn was gay. It didn't fit with the Taryn I'd known for years and yet he had told us himself. He'd hidden it well. I never once suspected, but then I'd spent most of my time fearing him.
I could hear Leif breathing softly beside me and wondered if he was already asleep. I wondered if I could sleep at all. My dick was so hard it stood straight up and my nads ached. My teen body needs sex.
Fantasies about him played out in my mind, but I managed to control myself. Fear helped me more than anything else. I did not want to get caught by Anthony or Taryn, but even more, I didn't want to ruin things with Leif be moving too fast. He had a gorgeous body and I desperately wanted him, but his body was only the beginning. He was… wonderful.
I finally drifted off after what seemed like hours of torment and thankfully slept through the night. Upon awakening the next morning, my first sight was of Leif in only his boxer briefs, his morning wood clearly visible. My dick awakened faster than me and I fought to control it.
I laughed when I saw his hair. He tried to smooth it, but it was a lost cause.
"That is the worst bed head I have ever seen in my life," Anthony said, stirring.
"You are human," Taryn added as he stretched, the blanket barely covering his morning hardon.
He had bed head too, but not nearly as bad.
"Yeah, my hair goes wild in the night. I think I have were hair."
Mom made us toast and scrambled eggs for breakfast. Leif had tamed his hair by then and was looking as handsome as ever. I hoped the extra expense of having him and Taryn here for supper and breakfast wasn't too hard on my parents. I knew things were tight.
After breakfast, we finished studying. It wasn't my usual Saturday morning, but with Leif it was… well, not quite fun, but close.
"I need to make a phone call," Leif said when we'd finished. "I'll be right back."
He pulled his phone out and left the room.
Taryn and I were left alone in my room. Anthony had abandoned us right after breakfast and mom wouldn't let Chad annoy us while we studied.
"Leif is really great. You make a cute couple," he said, gazing at me with a smile.
I blushed.
"Um, thanks. I never guessed you were gay."
"Everyone looks down on me enough the way it is, and I can't afford to show any weakness."
"Taryn… I… until recently, I've always been afraid of you, but you're turning out to be a really cool guy. Don't you think you should let other people see that?"
"No, they would tear me apart. I have to be tough."
"People might surprise you."
He shrugged.
"I doubt it."
"Well, your secret is safe with us."
Leif returned.
"Hey, I called mom and asked if it was okay to have you guys over for lunch. I knew she wouldn't care, but I wanted to give her some warning."
"Me?" Taryn asked as if was surprised.
"Of course, you. We can mess around with my PlayStation."
"Wow, you have a PlayStation?"
"He has a PlayStation 4 Pro," I said.
"Holy shit!"
"What are you guys doing?" Chad asked as he appeared in the doorway.
"Planning ways to torment you. Taryn suggested a power wedgie," I said.
"He did not!"
"Actually, we're going to my house for lunch and to play games. Want to join us? I have a little brother you might like," Leif said.
I couldn't believe he had invited my little brother, but then again, that was Leif.
"Yes!" Chad said, pumping his fist in the air.
"Don't blame me if he destroys your house," I said.
Chad glared at me and growled.
If Anthony was here, Leif would no doubt have asked him to join us too. We went downstairs and I told mom where we were going. I was slightly mortified when she kissed me on the cheek, but she kissed Chad as well, so that made it better.
"She always does that when I leave," he complained as we walked out the front door.
"You're lucky," Taryn said.
Chad gazed at him and shrugged.
Taryn swallowed hard when we arrived at Leif's house.
"He lives in a mansion," he whispered to me.
I wouldn't call Leif's house a mansion, but it was very nice. Taryn had remarked that my rundown home was nice. I wondered about his home.
Leif led us inside. Taryn's mouth dropped open before he remembered to shut it. Chad's eyes widened. Leif's little brother entered the living room from the direction of the kitchen.
"Guys, this is my brother, Grayson. You've met Owen, Grayson, but this is Taryn and Chad."
Grayson smiled at all of us, but turned to Chad.
"Want to play some video games in my room?"
"Sure!" Chad said and the younger boys took off together.
"Let's go say hi to mom and let her know we're here," Leif said.
We followed him into the kitchen, which was larger than my living room. I wondered what my mom would think if she had a kitchen like this one. Our oven had to be held shut with duct tape.
"Mom, this is Taryn, you know Owen. Grayson already grabbed Owen's little brother, Chad."
"It's nice to meet you, Taryn. Make yourself at home. Thank you for letting Leif spend the night at your home, Owen."
"You're welcome. We had a great time and got a lot of studying done."
"Lunch will be ready about one. In the meantime, I baked cookies. Take these up to your room, Leif, so they won't tempt me. I already ate two. Don't eat too many before lunch."
"Thank you," Taryn and I said.
The three of us headed upstairs.
"Holy shit! It's like I've died and gone to Best Buy ," Taryn said when we stepped inside Leif's room.
It was close to the reaction I had the first time I entered. He had a big screen 4K TV, a huge DVD collection, an Echo Show, and every bit of tech one could imagine. His room was luxurious on top of that.
"Oh, a Troye Sivan poster. I like him," Taryn said.
This was another surprise, but everything about him surprised me.
"Alexa, play music by Troye Sivan," Leif said.
"Playing music by Troye Sivan," said his Echo Show.
Music filled the room.
"Wow, that's one of those Amazon things that will talk to you, isn't it?" Taryn asked.
"Yeah, you can play around with it later if you want, but right now let's hit the PlayStation."
"And the cookies," I said, taking a huge chocolate chip cookie and biting into it.
"Do you have a favorite game?" Leif asked.
I couldn't answer with my mouth full and Taryn shook his head.
"Let's try Spiderman. "It's awesome," Leif said, setting up his game system to play on his huge TV.
"I've uh… never played a video game," Taryn said.
"It's not hard. You will screw up a lot at first, everyone does, and it's usually funny."
"I've barely played any," I said.
"We will start it out easy, then," Leif said.
"I suppose you're an expert," I said.
"Yeah, I'm kind of addicted, but then I'm addicted to movies, books, music, and well… too much stuff to mention and a thing or two I don't want to mention, if you know what I mean."
I grinned. I had a very good idea of what he meant. I was addicted to that too.
We all sat on the floor. Leif put game controllers into our hands and explained how to use them. Instead of Spiderman, he started us on a simple game. Taryn and I screwed up a lot, but had a blast. After several minutes, we started to get the hang of the controllers, which were totally different from the ancient Atari controller I had used at a cousin's house a few years ago.
We moved on to Spiderman, and all I can say is, wow! We were soon engrossed in the game and played for half an hour before I paused.
"Here, Leif, take over. I have to use the restroom," I said.
It was true, but I also wanted him to play. It was his game system after all."
I knew my way to the bathroom. I entered and was amazed all over again. It was the kind of bathroom I'd seen in movies in luxury hotels, with a huge shower instead of a tub, marble around the sink, beautiful tiles, and even a window. I never gave bathrooms that much thought, but I think I could have lived in here. It was bigger than my room!
Leif offered me the game controller when I returned, but I waved him off. I wanted him to play and enjoyed looking around his room. He had everything. If this was my room, I don't think I could have thought of a single thing more I wanted. He had it all. He was handsome, athletic, and talented at everything. He was a golden boy. He was also kind to everyone. He didn't care that I was poor and Taryn was poorer. He treated us as if he didn't even notice. No one as good as him should have to die so young.
I grew sad as I watched him play. His face was smiling and animated, but soon he would be dead. He would never graduate from high school. He would never even have a fifteenth birthday. He would miss out on most of his life. Chances were that I'd live to be an old man, but he would be gone in a manner of weeks. How was he able to be so upbeat and happy? I don't think I could do it if I knew I was going to die soon.
I looked at him. He was totally immersed in the game, smiling and laughing. He didn't have much time left, but I was going to do everything I could to make him as happy as I could. I was going to be there for him when things got bad. I loved him. I could do no less.
Leif's big brother, Ryland, stuck his head in the door and said, "guys, it's time for lunch."
Leif paused the game and we all went downstairs to the kitchen.
"I hope everyone likes steak," his mom said.
Taryn's mouth almost dropped open and my eyes widened. Leif's dad entered from he outside door with a platter of steaks.
"These are all medium well. Does anyone prefer well done?" he asked.
Taryn and I shook our heads. Leif's dad put huge steaks on our plates, which barely fit because there was already a baked potato with butter, and sour cream there. We each had a salad as well, and his mom passed around fresh rolls.
"Owen's mom made great spaghetti yesterday. She makes her own garlic toast," Leif said.
I could tell he truly liked mom's spaghetti and wasn't merely saying it to make me feel good.
"This steak is incredible," Taryn said.
"Yeah, what is it?" I asked.
"Mammoth," Mr. Ulbrich said.
"Dad! It is not!" Grayson said, grinning.
"Okay, it's ribeye. We ran out of mammoth last week. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to fine one of those things."
Chad laughed.
I liked Leif's dad. He was friendly. The entire family was friendly and didn't look down on Taryn or me because we weren't well dressed.
I couldn't remember when I had eaten so well. I definitely couldn't remember the last time I had steak. At my house, grilling hot dogs was a big deal. I started to get full, but I was determined to finish my steak. I wasn't about to waste any of it.
For dessert, there was pecan pie, which was something else I hadn't tasted in ages. It was so good. When we finished, Taryn, Chad, and I thanked Leif's parents, but they waved us off as if it was nothing.
We returned to Leif's room. Him and Taryn finished their game and then Leif and I played another of his games while Taryn got into a conversation with the Echo Show. He was fascinated. I wished I could have one, but then we didn't have internet, so it wouldn't work at our house anyway.
Later, Chad and Grayson joined us to watch Love Simon . I actually didn't know it was a movie about a gay boy until we got into it, but it was great. When Simon was checking out the hunky lawn guy, Chad caught my eyes and raised his eyebrows up and down. I laughed. My little brother had absolutely no problem with his big brother being gay.
The movie was awesome and watching it with Leif made it even better. We sat close, and even held hands. Not for the last time, I wished we could be together forever.
Taryn, Chad, and I stayed until nearly four p.m. I could have happily lived at Leif's house, but I didn't want his family to get tired of me. I was actually somewhat weary and I could tell he was very tired. He walked us downstairs to the kitchen, where we said goodbye to his mom.
"These are for you," she said, handing Taryn, Chad, and me paper sacks.
Taryn opened his and looked in.
"Cookies! Thank you, he said, hugging her.
She hugged him back. He didn't let go for several seconds. I wondered if he got any hugs at home.
"Here's an extra bag for your big brother. Make sure he gets them," she said to Chad.
"You heard her. Those are for me!" I said.
"She meant Anthony!"
"It was worth a try."
"Thank you so much," I said, hugging her as well.
Chad said goodbye to Grayson. Leif hugged me at the door and then we kissed.
"Get a room!" Chad said, but we ignored him and kept kissing for several long moments.
"I'll see you soon," I said.
"I can't wait."
"Too mushy!" Grayson said, but Leif only laughed.
We departed and followed the sidewalk out to the street.
"You have the hottest boyfriend," Taryn said.
"Yes, and the nicest too."
"You are so lucky. You know, I had Leif pegged as a stuck-up snob, but he's nothing like that."
"No, he's not."
"I can't believe his room! He has it made. I want to be him!"
"He does have all the cool toys," I said.
"His family is so nice, too. My older brother would rather punch me in the face than smile at me."
"I used to think Anthony was a dick, but I've discovered he's actually pretty cool."
"Anthony is way cooler than any of my brothers," he said.
"Owen has the coolest little brother ever!" Chad said.
"Did mom have another baby?" I asked.
"You're not funny, Owen!"
"Oh, I'm funny."
"Okay, it was a little funny."
"I have not had this much fun, ever," Taryn said.
"I always have fun when I'm with Leif," I said.
"I bet! Unh! Unh!" Chad said, thrusting his hips in a way no eleven-year-old ever should.
"We've never done that, and it's none of your business anyway," I said. "Taryn, if you'd like another brother, I'd be happy to give you Chad."
"No thank you."
Chad growled.
"How long have you and Leif been dating?" Taryn asked.
"Not long at all."
"If he was my boyfriend, I would have already had sex with him," Chad said.
"You're gay?" Taryn asked.
Chad shrugged.
"I don't think so. Boys don't make my pants dance like girls. I'm just saying…"
"I think we need to have a talk. If you get a girlfriend, you better not start having sex with her right away," I said.
"Yeah, you could have a kid by the time you're twelve," Taryn said.
"I doubt he's able to… you know. He is only eleven," I said.
"I'm right here you know and I know what you're talking about."
"So, can you?"
"That's none of your business!"
"We still have to have a talk or perhaps it would be better if Anthony talked to you. It's dad's job, but he's never around."
"I saw him three days ago. I wish he was around more," Chad said.
"I know."
I gave him a one arm hug.
"I don't remember my dad. He took off when I was young," Taryn said.
"So, it's just your mom?"
"Yeah, and she's well… the less said about her, the better. We pretty much take care of ourselves as best we can."
"Dang, and I thought dad never being around was bad," Chad said.
"I'm used to it," Taryn said.
I felt sorry for him, but I didn't let on because I didn't want to embarrass him.
"Hey, what lunch period do you have?" I asked him.
"I have the second one."
"Cool, why don't you sit with Leif and me?"
"Really?"
"Sure. Why not?"
"Yeah, that would be great," he said, smiling. "Hey, my place is this way, so I'll see you on Monday."
"Sure thing."
Chad and Taryn did their Big Hero 6 fist bump. It cracked me up watching and listening to Taryn say, "falalala."
"He's really cool," Chad said when he was gone.
"Yes, he is, but he's totally wrong about you being the cool brother."
"Nope! I am the coolest, Anthony is second, and you are last!"
"No! I am the coolest!"
"I am!"
"No, I am!"
We went back and forth the rest of the way home. He laughed so much he could hardly speak, but he kept up the argument. I couldn't help it; I liked my annoying little brother.
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