Just Hit 'Send' - The Interim Years
by Grasshopper
Ch. 5
"Just a couple more minutes, Dan."
Danny felt like his arms were gonna burst right out of his shoulder joints. Pulling himself up on these parallel bars was damn hard on his best day and today was definitely not his best day. It was one thing for the therapist to dig around his mind but now he wanted to talk to his mom and dad.....he wanted to talk to Jordy. Didn't he know that the problems weren't with them, had never been with them. They just tried to help. The trouble was all in Danny's screwed up, shit for brain's head. He wanted to stop it all......just go back to before when it was all his problem.........he didn't want them involved, especially not Jordy.
"I'm tryin'," he snarled at Terry. "Leave me the fuck alone."
"Dan?"
"I mean it, Terry." He knew he was being a jerk but he hadn't told Jordy and he was dreading the phone call.
Terry left him with Stephanie and walked over to the office, picking up the phone. "Easy? What's up with Dan? He's spittin' nails."
Easy sighed, "Shrink wants to talk to Jord."
"Oh, and that's bad somehow?"
Easy didn't know how much Danny wanted Terry to know. "He just doesn't want to upset Jordy."
Terry snorted. "Upset Jordy? Seems to me, a lot of this is Jordy's fault."
"Look man, what you don't know about those two would fill Lake Okeechobee, so don't be goin' on like you have the answers. You wanna be his friend? Then you leave Jord out of the equation. It's not your place to think about them or what makes them tick. You hear me?" Easy slammed the phone for good measure and rolled his eyes. Apparently Dan had not called Jordy yet. He sighed, checked the clock for time difference and dug out his cell, punching in #1.
"Ez. Hey."
Markie turned down the tv and picked Josh up, settling back down on the couch.
"Yeah."
"Yeah."
"The little shit."
"Yeah."
"I'll call him tonight."
"Thanks."
Jordan clicked the phone off, standing still, blowing his breath out through his mouth in puff. "After all this time......," he mumbled.
"What?"
Jordan flopped down beside her, lifted Josh and held him gently, nuzzling his neck, smiling when the little guy grabbed for his glasses. "Dan has something to tell me and he's doing his "I can handle it by myself" thing"
"Good thing you've got Easy, huh?"
"Yeah, but I wish, just once, he'd know, really know, that he doesn't have to hide anything from me. How long will it take for him to let it all go?" He felt Markie lightly stroke the back of his neck. "The therapist wants to talk to me. Why is that such a big deal? Why would he think I wouldn't?"
"I don't think that it's you wouldn't. I think it's that he thinks he causes you nothing but problems. This is just another one."
Jordan jumped up from the sofa, Josh in his arms, to walk back and forth, back and forth across the room. "I would do anything for him, Marks."
"He knows that."
"Then why........?"
Markie put her arms out for the baby. "Isn't that what the therapist will find out? Jordan, Danny's problems didn't start with you, did they?"
"No," Jordan sighed.
"Then, go with this and maybe the answers will mend everything."
"And he'll come home?" Jordan whispered.
"Hiya."
"It's early, Jordy. Is something wrong?"
"Oh, so now I can only call after nine o'clock? Is that when all the guys get off your bed?"
"Ewww, Jordy. I just.........you just never call this early unless something's wrong."
"I wouldn't have to call at all if you were here instead of there," Jordan let out a huge dramatic sigh. "Anything good I should know about?"
"Not really."
"You sure?"
"Easy called you."
"Yep."
"Big mouth jerk."
"And when was I gonna hear this from you, Daniel?"
"I was gonna tell you?"
"God, you can be so pathetic. That is such a lie."
"Are you mad?"
"Yes."
"How mad?"
"Dan, how can he help you if you won't let him?"
"How mad, Jordy? Are you pulling on your hair?"
Jordan laughed, his hair standing straight up in peaks where he was twisting it with his fingers. "Yes, I am hair pulling mad at you, but.............," he sighed, "I know what you do when I get all hair-pully mad."
"Uh huh," Danny purred. "Tell me."
"You take my hands and you lift them above my head and you kiss me. Then you comb your fingers through my hair and you kiss me again. Then," Jordan's voice sounded low in his throat, "Then you love me and make me forget why I was mad."
"Are you still mad?"
"No, baby. Tell me what you need."
"You."
Jordan smiled. "Well, that's a given. You can have me anytime you want. What does the therapist need?"
Daniel Trainor Pre Session 3
Daniel left his parents' phone number with Mrs. B, but not Jordan's. Set up phone appointment with them for later today after meeting with Daniel. Father seems very supportive. Will discuss father today. Must insist on talking to Jordan.
Danny and Easy were laughing as they wheeled into the office.
"You are so not gonna do that," Danny snorted.
"Watch me, dickhead."
"I'll tell," Danny laughed, his face alight with fun.
"Oh, and I'm SO scared of Jordy," Easy grinned.
"Good Morning, boys," Mrs. Busby smiled, watching them laughing. "What's so funny?"
"He threatened to tell the doctor something," Danny tried to glare but giggled instead.
"I will if you don't stop that giggling."
Dr. Meadows opened his door, saying goodbye to his ten o'clock appointment.
"Tell me what?" he smiled.
"Dan has a ta......," Easy started but was rudely interrupted by a whack to the stomach. "Oof!"
"That is soooooo not coming out of your mouth."
**Dan has a tattoo**
"I'll be out here visitin' with Mrs. B," Easy laughed. "Go get your head shrunk."
Danny wheeled himself into the office and maneuvered himself into the soft leather chair that faced the painting he liked.
"How are you today, Daniel?"
"You can call me Dan if you want," Danny said softly. "No one calls me Daniel."
"What do your parents call you?"
"Dan."
"What does Jordy call you?"
Danny's eyes blinked. "Danny," he smiled, remembering last night's phone call, "'cept when he's mad."
"Is he mad a lot?"
"Jordy? No."
"What does he call you when he's mad?"
"DAN!! or DANIEL ALAN!!"
"Let's talk about your parents today."
"Okay."
"You are an only child?"
"Yes. My mom wanted a houseful of kids but she couldn't have anymore after me. She had a hard time carrying me."
"Did your father want more children?"
"Oh yes. He loves kids." Danny's frowned.
"What?"
"I was all they had. It was great until I got hurt."
"Then what happened?"
"I.......I hurt them."
"How, Dan?"
"I wouldn't let them help me. I was ugly. I know they wished I'd died in that accident."
"Do you really mean that?"
Danny sniffed. "No. They love me. They would do anything to make me better. I wouldn't let them."
"Why not?"
"I didn't deserve their help."
"Why not?"
Danny closed down.
"Why not, Dan?"
"I can't tell you."
**here we go**
"Have you ever told anyone?"
"Jordy," he whispered, "But not all of it."
"Who hurt you, Dan?"
Dr. Meadows watched Danny struggle with himself.
"Dan, if you say it out loud, it may take some of the pain away."
"I can't."
"Did an adult hurt you?" He waited. Danny didn't answer.
Dr. Meadows took a deep breath. "Did your father hurt you?"
"NO! Oh No! My dad would never hurt me! It wasn't my dad." Danny began scrambling for his braces. The doctor put his hand on Danny's arm.
"Then who? Who hurt you?"
Danny seemed to fold in upon himself. "I need Jordy," he said in a very soft voice.
"Why, Dan?"
Danny looked at him like he was stupid. "I need Jordy," he said again.
"Have you told Jordy I would like to talk to him?"
"Sort of."
"Sort of?"
"He knows."
"So, I can call him and talk?"
"Yes."
"You do understand that any conversation I have with anyone concerning you is available to you?"
"I didn't, but thank you."
"I think we'll stop here for today. How are you doing on your physical therapy?"
Danny gathered himself together, got back in the wheelchair and Dr. Meadows opened the door. Easy was leaning against the wall by the door. Taking the wheelchair handles, he leaned down to see tears in Danny's eyes.
"You okay, Lil Dude?" He rested his hand on Danny's shoulder.
"Yeah."
Easy smiled at Mrs. Busby and nodded at the doctor. "See ya in a few, Doc."
"Dan? May I have Jordan's number?"
"Yes," Danny said quietly. He wrote it on the notepad.
Jordan Lawrence ~ (768) 540 3341 "This is Jordy."
Daniel Trainor Post Session 3 / Parental Conversation
Conversation with parents confirmed suspicion of abuse. Not necessarily from parents. Possibly family friend or close relative. Parents were at a loss as to help Dan during PTSD. Father volunteered that Dan was negative to the point of threatening suicide unless left alone. They tried to find out about the accident but were shut out.
**Note ~ Father admires Jordan. Says that J opened Dan's world and brought him back. Question ~ back from where? Dependent on Jordan. Does Jordan use this? Did Dan run away from Jordan?
"Jordan Lawrence, please."
"Speaking."
"Jordan, this is Dr. Meadows. I'm working with Daniel Trainor here in Portland."
"Yes, he told me you'd be calling."
"I'd like to ask you a few questions, if I may."
"Of course." Jordan put his hand over the receiver. ‘It's the therapist.'
Markie sat quickly on the bar stool by him.
"Jordan, Dan is unable to tell me what caused his accident that put him in the wheelchair. What can you tell me?"
Jordan had known this was coming but still didn't have the words. "I don't think I can tell you anything."
"Why not?"
"I need to talk to Danny first."
**there's the "Danny"**
"All right. That's fair. May I call back later this week?"
"When's Danny's next appointment?"
"Thursday at 11:00."
"After that, please. I'll talk to him first."
"Thank you, Jordan. I'll talk to you soon."
Daniel Trainor Sidenote Phone conversation with Jordan Lawrence
Polite young man; seems willing to help. Seems to have considerable influence over Dan. Next session might show what his influence can open up.
"Marks........Danny's way out there and this doctor is prodding him about his accident." Jordan paced. "He'll fall apart."
"Call and talk to him. It's all you can do, Jordy."
"Hey Dan."
"Oh, Jordy."
"Oh? I get an ‘Oh'?"
"He asked about the accident. He wants me to tell him what happened."
"Shhh, baby. You can tell him. He only wants to help you."
"I wish you were here," Danny tried to keep the tears back, so Jordan wouldn't hear them in his voice.
But Jordan did.
"I'll be right here for you. You know that. Anything he needs to ask." Jordan could almost feel the panic coming through the phone. "Danny, Stop worrying."
"I love you, Jordy."
"I know, baby."
"I told you but that was different."
"Shhhh. It'll be okay. Do you like the doctor?"
"Yes. He's nice. I just have a hard time saying some stuff."
"I wish I could be there for you."
"Me too."
"How's the exercising going?"
"Really good, Jordy. Steph says I'm doing great on the parallel bars. I can hold myself up and move along pretty good."
"You'll be back on those braces in no time. I'm so proud of you." He could hear Danny smile.
"Jordy?"
"Mmmm?"
"I love you so much."
Jordan sighed. Why was this so hard? "I know, Hon. I love you too."
"He'll be okay."
"I know Marks, but it still doesn't mean I shouldn't be there."
"We can't afford.............."
Jordan took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose in a frustrated gesture. "But that's the thing, Marks. We can."
"How?"
"Remember a certain check that we got in the mail that we swore we'd never use?"
"Oh........My.........God! You wouldn't?"
Jordan grinned. "Damn right I would. I can't think of a better use for my daddy's money than to help Danny."
"Hahaha........I'd like to see the look on your daddy's face."
"Yeah........little does he know that he's gonna help "that Trainor boy".
Jordan cashed the check and wrote on the bottom of the check right next to his daddy's signature:
For Trip to Portland.
Daniel Trainor Pre Session 4
Checked on physical therapy ~ Dan is progressing well. Should not need wheelchair soon. Will discuss Jordan today. Did he call? Will call after session.
Easy pushed Danny's chair through the outer doorway. "Hey, Mrs. B."
"Hello there," she smiled. These two always made her smile.
"Brought you a rose," Danny said shyly. He held up a coral rose, petals edged in crimson.
Mrs. Busby couldn't help herself. "You two are gonna get a big hug."
Danny was giggling, Easy had thrown both arms up in mock terror and Mrs. Busby was launching a huge hug as the doctor opened his door.
"Hey fellas."
"Hey Doc," Easy grinned. "Mrs. B is attacking us."
"It's always something when you two get here," he laughed. "Come on in, Dan."
Settled in his usual chair, Danny seemed nervous.
"Is everything okay, Dan? You seem tense."
"I just..........I just wish Jordy was here. He'd talk to you."
"You need to talk to me, Dan."
"I know but it's really hard."
"And Jordy makes it easier?"
"Jordy makes everything easier."
"Are you ready to talk about the accident?"
Danny hung his head and mumbled a muffled ,"Yes."
The outer door of the office opened, Easy looked up and then did a double take, flying out of his chair to hit the person coming in at a full run.
"Jordy.........My Man!! Fuck me sideways!!!"
Jordan laughed. "Hiya, Ez."
"So, this is the famous Jordan," Mrs. Busby thought quietly. "Now maybe the doctor can get somewhere."
Dr. Meadows intercom phone buzzed. "Excuse me, Dan."
"Doctor, there's someone in the outer office that you need to meet."
"Not now. Have them wait please."
"Doctor, I think you want to meet this young man. I'll send him in."
The door opened and Jordan stepped into the office. He could see the back of Danny's head. Dr. Meadows stood, his hand outstretched.
"I'm Dr. Meadows."
"Hi. I'm Jordan Lawrence. I think someone here needs me."
Danny's head whipped around and he grabbed for his braces. "JORDY!!"
Jordan took the room in one half a nanosecond, pulling Danny up and into his arms. "Hi Baby," he sighed and doctor or no doctor, he kissed Danny so hard, so lovingly, so .........just so......... They didn't even notice the door shutting.
"Jordy, you came," Danny was feeling him all over like he wasn't really there. Kissing his mouth, his cheeks, his hands, whatever he could reach.
Jordan just wanted to lock the door and love him. "Of course I came. You needed me. I'll always come when you need me. Don't you know that?"
"I hoped," Danny whispered. "Oh, Jordy."
"I know. Let's get this over with so I can have you to myself."
"How long can you stay?"
"Till Sunday. I gotta catch the red eye back. Plenty of time to love my baby."
The door opened a crack. "Ahem."
Jordan laughed. "We're decent."
Dr. Meadows poked his head in. "Safe to enter?"
They could hear Easy laughing. They blushed when they heard him say to Mrs. Busby. "You gotta watch those two. They've got these tattoos........"
"EASY!!" both boys shouted.
"Just sayin'," their friend laughed. As the door closed, they heard Mrs. Busby ask, "Where?"
Dr. Meadows settled into his chair and looked at the two young men. So different......like sunshine and moonlight. Blond hair, green eyes set against black curls and turquoise. What a beautiful pair.
Jordan eased Danny onto the sofa and sat as close to him as he could without zipping himself inside Danny's sweatshirt. Arms around each other, Danny looked at the doctor. "I can tell you what you need to know now."
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