Discovering Brazil
by Zustara Orur
A story (C) 2002/2003 by ZUSTARA ORUR. Contact address: zustara@hotmail.com 2.0 May not be redistributed, commercial use prohibited!
English is a second language to me, so please excuse any goofs present herein regarding grammar, spelling. I try to do the best I can!
Legal mumbo-jumbo BS: this story features explicit descriptions of sexual acts between consenting male youths. The story is fictional, and only took place in my mind. If this sort of thing bothers you; you are under-age (and anybody cares about it); reading this story happens to be illegal wherever you may be right now; etc, please STOP READING. I won't get in trouble, but you might, who knows. If all is hunky-dory, feel free to continue, if that is your wish.
Also note that this is a real STORY centering around love rather than sex, those mainly interested in long descriptions of copulation and such may want to look elsewhere.
SPECIAL DEDICATION: My love and sincerest gratitude goes out to Dwayne, Pointblue, Daniel, Caeru, Blue, Taryn, Leonard, Warp1, Ryan, Ratatosk, Michael, Odius, Squidsgerbil, Tamsyn, Maxy and Genesis, all of you listed in reverse order of appearance, just to be a bit different. *Grin!* Special thanks to Jalaki for approving my posts in a prompt and regular fashion, my close friend IOMfAtS for looking over my stories and hosting them on his incredible website and finally, Comicality for having created the Library forum. Visit it at http://www.voy.com/17262/, read a story and give an author some comments. We all love it, please come and share the fun!
Chapter Two - Naming Brazil:
"Are you kidding me?!", he said. "I've never had anyone give me something like this before! It's too much, I know it is, but YEAH, I'd really like to have it man!" He grabbed me and pulled me in close for a big hug! It felt so good... I held the shirt in my hand as I hugged Brazil back as hard as I could. "It's too much, but thank you, thank you...", he whispered as we held each other there on the sidewalk.
Then he let go of me. He put his hands on my shoulders and gave me the biggest, happiest boy-smile you could ever imagine. It was all the thanks I needed, or wanted, and it made me blush really BAD. Darn it, dad would go ballistic when I told him, but hey, better to bribe the guy than have him continue to steal things! Besides, it wasn't as if Brazil was some stranger or a street kid or something, after all I had seen him in school! I could always tell dad a white lie we knew each other. So I simply smiled back and gave him the bag with all the stuff. He put his free arm around my shoulders and we started walking down the street of the shopping district. Somehow - I don't really know how - we ended up at a Burger King restaurant.
"My treat, okay?", Brazil said. "It's the least I can do. Order whatever you like!"
I smiled, thinking he really wasn't so bad after all. Sure, he was a thief after all it seemed, but at least he was a well-mannered one! For a second I thought I'd go all-out for the most disgustingly huge burger with double everything in it, but then thought, what would be the point? Brazil obviously stole because he didn't have much money, should I make things worse for him than I really had to? No, of course not. So I settled for my usual.
"Chikkin whopper, extra onion and pickles, a salad and a small coke light please", I ordered.
"Make that two", Brazil chipped in, then he started digging around in his pockets and pulled up some crumpled notes and a small amount of loose change. Just looking at it told me it would not be enough. In fact, it probably didn't pay even for HIS meal. He gave me a sheepish smile. "Sorry", he whispered. "I really thought I had more than this, I'm really sorry."
I shrugged. "Don't worry", I said and gave him a soothing look. I pulled up my wallet and pulled out a crisp ten-dollar bill. Brazil scooped up his cash and tried to unload it on me. Of course, I refused, and he became rather anxious by not being allowed to pay even what he could. "Look, man", I said. "I can afford it! It's no big deal!"
True, but this afternoon would gouge out a HUGE crater in my savings unless dad bailed me out and I wasn't sure he would. If I'd bought the clothes for myself, MAYBE...
Brazil was still feeling insecure about the whole arrangement but I managed to convince him it was okay. "I will pay you back, I promise!", he assured me. "I deliver newspapers on weekends, I can pay you after I get some more cash! I wouldn't rip you off, please don't think I'd try to rip you off!"
He was holding one of my hands in his own as he looked me deep in the eyes, his other hand around my wrist. I didn't know what the heck to think of him. He was sincere, an honest thief you might say, that much I could tell. What I could not tell was if he also was coming on to me or not! I'd never met a guy who was as physical as Brazil! Most guys abhor physical contact with other guys unless it is during the practicing of some kind of sports activity or something. Brazil just seemed to do it, like it came natural to him.
I didn't ever get the sense he was attracted to me in any way though, he was just trying to be honest like I said, and a good friend it seemed to me. He wanted to convince me he was being serious! I chose to believe him, while I was secretly REALLY happy I was wearing tight-fitting underwear because I was having a really big problem with my dick! It was harder than I ever remember it being except the times I was with Ali... It felt weird, because I'd never expected to feel that way again ever. I felt that way because of Ali - I had felt that way FOR Ali, and he was gone. Yet, here my body responded in the same manner once again... It felt weird, even as it felt good. I don't think it was like I was betraying Ali - not really. I don't know, I was confused. Yet I still smiled at Brazil as I spoke to him.
"I wouldn't think you're trying to rip me off. I believe you. And for the last time now, it's okay! Don't think about it, dinner's on me." Brazil gave me a thankful smile in return, and right then I KNEW he'd been telling the truth! If he had been lying, no way he could have smiled such a relieved smile at me, such a genuine, thankful smile. I squeezed his hand back, and then we both realized our food had arrived. I grabbed the tray with everything stacked on it, while Brazil went and got us some of those silly little ketchup packages. You're probably busy going 'YUCK!, ketchup on a CHICKEN burger?', but I can have ketchup on ANYTHING (haven't tried it on ice-cream yet, but I'm not totally contrary to the idea!). Seems Brazil's the same way!
Yes, this was dinner for me. Dad wouldn't be home until late, he always stayed until closing, and then he had to supervise the counting of the cash registers and other stuff. Make sure resupply orders had been made, other boring stuff too. If I saw him before half past eight in the evening I was probably lucky. Of course, it's not always I go to a fast food place. Actually, most days I don't, because I don't want to look the way I did up until I was twelve or so. Not that I was REALLY fat, just...well, chubby, kind of. I was that kind of kid (older) female relatives like to pinch the cheeks of and say 'Oh he's SO CUTE!' while embarrassing said kid something awful.
Well, one day I said to my dad maybe I should lay off the junk food, and he actually did as well, we both lost a lot of weight, but then, I was growing also so I gained most back again as I got taller. I still stayed nice and lean though! If I do eat out, I try to not make it worse than I have to. I skip the fries most of the time. I know, growing kids needs calories, but I don't really exercise any. I just walk around the store the days I work, it's not that much really. Anyway, me and Brazil, we were really enjoying our burgers, I love the chikkin whoppers, they're great!
I also enjoyed what Brazil was doing under the table as we sat there side by side; playing footsie with me! He shoved with his feet, competing with me for the space that was mine! He also prodded me in the side with his elbow every now and then, especially when I was trying to have a sip of my drink. Once I almost blasted coke out through my nose when he caught me totally off-guard!
We joked around like we were little kids, it was so funny when grownup people gave us angry looks, especially those with genuine little kids, like we were a bad influence on their small ones. That just made us laugh even more, and once, when we both were laughing so much we were almost passing out, I felt his hand squeeze my thigh. I got so surprised my laughter faded and he looked at me quizzically.
"What, man?", he asked softly. I looked back at him and I saw it in his eyes. He had no idea where his hand was, or what it was doing! He just wanted to know why I wasn't laughing anymore. The revelation, his ignorant look he had in his eyes, the fact his hand was still there keeping a firm grip on my leg, it all just seemed so funny it made me do a snorting kind of noise, and then we both were off again! Finally, the restaurant manager came by our table and kindly asked us to quiet down as not to disturb the other customers. We decided we'd outstayed our welcome and still laughing like girls severely stricken with the giggles we made our way outside again. Brazil had his arm around my shoulders and I dared to put an arm around his waist. Thusly supporting each other we both made it to the street. Out there we managed to calm down. Brazil put his lil boy butt against a parking meter and leaned against it so I had to let go of him, but he kept his hand on my shoulder. I was standing so close to him it made all of me super-tingly and my dick was as stiff as a crowbar in my pants. A rather small crowbar mind you, but still! I'd never been that hard since moving to town I think, and I could feel the slimy spot I was making in my tight-fitting underwear.
Brazil was looking into my eyes again and then he giggled once more, just quickly mind you. I guess we didn't want people thinking we were completely crazy. "Gosh, you just gave me a bag of clothes and bought me dinner and I don't even know your name!", he said, and then he giggled a little more. "That guy we, uh, you paid to, he called you Nate, right?"
I just had this big smile on my face. "Yeah, that's me. Nathanael Theron. Pleased to meet you!"
"Dorian... Dorian Mottau."
I realized too late I was holding out my hand for him to shake. Unfortunately it was the right hand he had holding on my body, which meant he'd have to take it off my shoulder in order to shake mine! Darn. I couldn't put my hand away, it would look awfully disrespectful. I just wanted him to keep touching me forever and ever... Despite my secret wishes he took his hand off me and gripped mine just lightly. It was as if our palms and fingers melted together almost, I'd never quite felt anything like it, not from just a simple handshake. I just knew holding his hand... It was right. I wanted to hold it throughout the rest of eternity.
We stood there and looked at each other and held hands with these really serious expressions on our faces for maybe ten seconds - which did feel like an eternity, a small one at least - I don't know why he looked at me like that, but I looked at him in a serious manner just because it felt so good to have my hand held by him, and I was busy analyzing the sensations he gave me. Then the kid apparently decided we'd become too serious all of a sudden, he grinned and loosened his grip a little and bent his middle finger in between our hands and tickled my palm with it! That made me laugh!
We let go of each other, and then I told him. "Nice to meet you...Brazil!"
He giggled also, and then he slung his arm around my shoulders again and we started walking. We were just about equally tall and of similar builds, yet kinda different too. His hair is of course this amazing deep honey-blonde, while mine's just plain brown. He got these weird eyes that are both green and brown. Mine are pale blue, almost gray actually, despite my hair color.
We didn't talk much after that. He just followed me almost all the way home, he got off the bus at my stop and then it left without him. He didn't live that near me, so we just stood there for a while and then we said goodbye and I walked off. I looked back once, and he was still looking at me, smiling. I waved, and then he waved and then I disappeared around a bend and he was gone. I guess he waited for the next bus and continued on to where he lived.
When I came home I immediately tossed myself on my bed. I pulled off all my clothes in a hurry and started stroking myself as I imagined Brazil was there with me. I felt his hand on my leg, his arm around my shoulder, squeezing my hand lightly, everything. His green-and-brown eyes, gazing into mine. With my right hand I caressed my chest and stomach, touching my own body like it was him doing it (I'm left-handed, you see). Suddenly I tensed up. It had been just a minute or maybe a little more after starting, and then I sprayed myself and my bedclothes in an orgasm that felt more powerful than I could ever remembering having on my own!
Jesus. Brazil... You're simply too gorgeous!
I slumped back on my bed and just laid there in post-orgasmic glory, relaxing, remembering all the good feelings, smiling at me. Suddenly I came to with a jerk and realized I'd fallen asleep. What had awakened me was the door to my room closing softly. Jeez! Had dad seen me lying there like that? My face flushed a deep red. In fact, much of my body lit up in the evening-dark room.
Cursing softly to myself, I got up and put some clothes on. My own semen had dried and made my skin feel taut and sticky. It itched a little like it often does for me if I don't wash it off at once, it seems to be mildly irritating, which seems kinda strange to me I think. Then I quickly tore off my stained bedsheets and bundled them up in my arms and snuck outside. First thing that happened was me bumping into my dad who had appeared out of nowhere. Had he been waiting there for me?
"Hi", he said quietly, and I almost fell on my butt, I was that surprised.
"Jeez! You scared me!", I panted, trying to calm down my racing heart.
Dad seemed to consider for just a moment whether to chuckle soothingly or not, but suddenly he decided not to. "Uh, Nate... Let me have that, okay? It's alright. I was just about to get a load of laundry started anyway."
"Th-thanks dad...", I said, feeling kinda insecure.
He reached for the bundle and when I would not let go of it he took a gentle hold of me instead. He crouched down so his eye-line suddenly was below mine. I followed, and suddenly we both were sitting down on the floor. Him with his back against the wall and me a little off to the side. He reached for me, and then I was suddenly in my dad's lap. "Nate, do you know I love you more than anything in the world?" I nodded slowly as he paused, waiting for my response. "Well, I do. There's nothing more important to me than your happiness. Nobody grieved more except than you when Ali died. I know how much he meant to you." He was quiet for a few moments, looking at me. I kept silent, maybe he expected me to say something, but I didn't want to. "I hear you've made a new friend today, though not exactly the kind of person I expected you to befriend."
"He's okay, dad. He really is."
"You really gave him all the stuff you bought? All of it?" I nodded slowly, feeling a little bit scared all of a sudden. "You're sure he's not just...using you, Nate? I mean-"
"He is okay!", I yelled unexpectedly. "You don't know him! You just think he's a simple thief, that's all!"
I was yelling, and my dad was hushing me and trying to hug me as I was fighting him, attempting to break free. "Shhh!", he whispered. "Shhh... Shhhh... Easy son, easy..." Gradually my struggling subsided. "I gotcha, my boy, I got ya." Then he hugged me tight and I went limp. I held the bundle of bedsheets in my arms and started sobbing into it as my dad stroked my hair and rocked me a little. I was kind of big to be sitting in the lap of a grownup, but it all came flooding back. Ali, and my loneliness, and my sister, and mom too. "Shhh, my boy, it is alright now, it is all right. I understand. Don't worry about it."
I didn't. Not anymore. Dad had said he knew, he didn't need to ask anything else, say any more. I knew he was concerned I was trying to buy affection, but Brazil wasn't no junkie rentboy. Heck, I was pretty certain he was totally unaware what he was doing to me... Seemed the boy was merely trying to be a good friend, not knowing he'd passed far beyond the border of what most people consider their own private space. That I liked having his hands on me was just because I happened to consider myself a homosexual (and, Brazil was rather cute too, or even totally cute in fact), and as dad continued to hold me, I wondered if the boy acted the same way around everybody else as he did with me. I didn't know. I'd only seen glances of him in school, but somehow I it felt maybe he was as much an outsider as I was. Maybe because he touched people without asking their permission, I don't know. I couldn't be sure of anything...
Dad held me a little longer and I pecked him on a cheek, something I don't think I'd done for a while. He smiled and pecked me back, making me smile more. Then we got up simultaneously and we had to brush ourselves off, because I guess with just the two of us there, we didn't do quite as much cleaning as one should do... Dad laughed quietly and said maybe he'd better run things over quick with the vacuum cleaner, so while I got the laundry going he did that. Then we watched a little bit of TV together, mainly him looking at some old black-and-white Humphrey Bogart flick, while I was leaning against his much bigger frame, feeling my eyelids getting heavier by the moment. Next thing I was aware of was dad pushing me to my feet. He lead me back to my room and there I crashed on my bed which I absently noted had been made up with fresh sheets. He prodded me again and I just pulled off my clothes and dropped them on the bed for him to collect. He did, and when I was down to T-shirt and underwear he tucked me in and gave me a proper kiss, on my forehead.
"Good night, Nate", he whispered. "I love you."
"Gnnznn daddy... Mmmhhm...", I mumbled, my way of saying good night and I love you too, smiling as I felt his hand caressing my cheek and side of my neck.
I slept the whole night through, not dreaming anything I could remember. In the morning I had that painful kind of wood that is so common in the morning, your dick is hard as steel, but not that good kind of hard as steel; it's really hurting! I took one look at the bedside watch, one measly minute past seven in the morning, then I hurried off to the bathroom. I'd gone to bed early by my standards, so I wasn't tired at all when I woke up. In fact, I felt fresher and more relaxed than ever in all the weeks since Ali departed this Earth. I thought of him and smiled, and then felt like I was going to start crying, but then finally I smiled again. He wouldn't want me to be consumed by grief I think, so even though there was a big empty space in my chest which he'd used to occupy, I smiled. Besides, I was feeling the smell of waffles coming from the kitchen...
"Mmmm! I'm hungry!", I told dad as I stabbed my fork through roughly half the stack of waffles he'd already made and loaded them onto my plate.
He chuckled. "I should think so!", he replied. "Good to see you up and about so early. Don't forget your morning shower though."
"No daddy, I won't! I'll be a good boy today!"
He laughed hearing that, then pecked my forehead just as I was taking away the booty I'd plundered back to the table. We had breakfast and talked more than we'd had in months, maybe years, though dad didn't touch upon the topic of yesterday evening. He just said not to worry about the money, that was all. I got the impression he'd take care of my purchases. I was giddy beyond words at the thought of going back to school. Not because of school itself, no. I wanted to meet Brazil again and talk to him! I had actually forgotten all about Kurt (whom I usually see in the mornings), but once I got inside the school I saw him standing at a busy corner, scanning the flow of teen youths. Looking for me.
"Hey!", I shouted out and waved just as he did the same! I ran up to him and gave him a quick embrace as an apology for dropping him so quickly out of my mind even though Kurt himself didn't know anything about it. Kurt's a bit taller than me, so hugging him felt nice. Actually, he's kinda tall for his age, but he's also really skinny. He's almost as slim over the hips and shoulders as I am, so he seems even taller in comparison than he really is. People joke a stiff breeze would either knock him over or carry him away, but it's not as if anyone gives him a hard time about it. I soon noticed after that day I found out Ali had died and he'd comforted me in the playground, that he kept a small lookout for me. Kurt was just interested in making sure I was at least fairly okay, and after seeing the sorrow was there still he'd leave me to my own devices. Not as if he abandoned me like I was a leper; he had his friends and I didn't want to keep him from them so I said I was fine (which was pretty much true anyway), and that I'd see him later. He might have stuck around just for my sake if I asked him to, but I didn't want to make him; Kurt and I weren't really that friendly after all. I was glad he showed me as much attention as he did, but I didn't want to push it.
After second period, I found him! Well... Kind of.
I felt two hands encircle my bare neck in a strangle-like grip as I was kneeling at my locker, except they weren't strangling me... Just holding me, touching me. Of course I got mine in the lower row of lockers which means I got all the funny guys bopping me on the head with their books as I sit there rummaging around to find the stuff I need for next class. Kinda annoying, I have to say! What I felt right then wasn't though, not annoying in the slightest! Two warm, silky-soft hands, almost caressing my neck as they slowly slid upwards...
"Hi Nate", that unbroken light voice spoke as his fingers played with my ears for just a moment as they passed on their way northwards, and then they buried themselves deep in my hair. I stopped everything I was doing, except for feeling an ever tightening, hardening sensation in my pants, and my heartbeat speeding up noticeably. I just sat there and enjoyed.
"Hello Brazil", I told him softly. I could hardly speak at all in fact and I felt my neck stretch and bend a little due to his exquisite touch so he could reach my bare skin more easily. A shiver ran down my back, and my body got totally goosebumpy, even all the way out to the top of my hands, it just felt so good!
"Thanks for yesterday", the boy replied, just letting his fingers rest in my hair for a moment so contentedly, touching my scalp fully and totally. Never had I been touched quite like that, it was as if he owned me. He just claimed me then and there, as his own, as his plaything... It felt extremely weird in a way. He made me feel... Well, in that way Ali had made me feel. Nobody else. Was it wrong of me, to react in this way? Was I being unfaithful to my love by acting this way?
Some girl with long brown hair in a ponytail down her back was crouching and mucking about in her locker to my left. I saw a boy with skinny legs and grass-stains on his knees standing to my right. Neither gave any attention whatsoever to me or Brazil. We might just as well not exist at all as far as they were concerned. My belief was confirmed when the girl twisted towards me on the balls of her feet and started to rise. Her eyes swept past me without focusing at all despite Brazil, another boy, having his hands buried deep in my hair and standing so close behind me we almost touched. It was like she was looking towards the distant horizon, not at me.
Author's Notes:
Sometimes I get people writing me and asking how I come up with my ideas, how I write my stories... Well, it's all a step-by-step process really, and it often varies greatly from story to story. Let me tell you some about this one...
I started this one a LONG time ago. It was just a few paragraphs of text initially, some ideas on a scrap of virtual paper, nothing more... It sat there untouched on my hard drive, the first scraps I'd written down keeping the rest of my ideas alive in my head.
One of the first scenes that crystallized itself into reality, THE first scene actually, was right after my two boys had been to the movies together and Nate looked at that guy's butt as he walked past. The actual visit to the movies came later (because the bridge my characters pass over isn't very far from a multiplex cinema in my city), as did the names of the individual characters, and most of their personalities as well, but the scene actually came from ME looking at a hot dude's butt and thinking what if someone noticed me doing it! (Imagine that huh? LOL!) Brazil's actually kinda angry words were there right at the beginning. It might have been the very first thing I wrote down as the story began its first slow, tentative steps towards completion.
Brazil was a lot more sullen and distant in my earliest concept of this story, as that very first line hints at. He was still a straight guy who became curious and got turned on by a gay guy, but he wasn't really quite as nice and pleasant initially as he is now. Eventually he simply grew into this incredible cock-tease just because I wanted to write a story featuring a boy that behaved like that... I knew he was a thief early too, the scenes in the second half of the first chapter where Nate buys Brazil clothes were also in my initial concept, though I fleshed them out considerably by the time I actually started writing the story for real. I had been to a sports goods store myself to buy some stuff, and I thought up this dialog exchange where one boy forced the other to empty out his backpack.
I think Ali materialized about ten seconds before I actually started writing. Maybe just five. He simply appeared out of nowhere, and he quickly became such a definitive character in my story even though he really isn't 'in' it at all, if you know what I mean... I wanted to have the element of loss and healing as part of the plot, and Ali is another of my boys I care deeply about. I hope you came to love him just as much as I do.
The name for Brazil came a little later after those first two scenes. The image for Brazil is a boy I passed in early spring one day when the weather was exceptionally warm for the season. The hair with the braids and the hairband was all there on that kid, though the real boy's a few years younger than in this story, and I added the beads just for effect. I looked at flag sites trying to find those colors on his hairband, and they simply weren't there. However, 'Brazil' simply was too good a name NOT to use, so I kept it anyway...! Nathanael is the name of a super-hunky Australian guy I had the pleasure of sharing room with for just one night at a youth hostel in London last year. He talks weird stuff in his sleep and have blonde dreads and an awesome, athletic body...! Nate as a character, in contrast to Brazil, is mostly pretty straight-forward apart from the points where he is joined with Ali; he's mostly just our narrator, the moon that circles the homeworld; Brazil. We discover the story through Nate's eyes, the strange and curious creature that is Brazil...!
Maybe this explains things. Maybe not, maybe it just raises more questions... I don't know. Anyway, if you liked the story, drop me a line okay?
Oh, by the way... 'Left Luggage' is a wonderful movie. Watch it.
*ZUSTARA*
A K A L V
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