Only Three Months to Live
by Victor Thomas
Chapter 2
I paused as I came out of the lunch line with my tray of chicken tenders, curly fries, and… yuck… broccoli. I didn't see Leif. Did he really want me to sit with him? He was sincere last night, but maybe he's changed his mind.
"Hey."
I turned. Leif smiled at me.
"Come on."
I followed him to a distant table. Other kids were already sitting there, but he sat down without hesitation.
"Owen, I would like you to meet my old, old friends David, Paula, and Keaton."
"Yeah, we go way back to yesterday at lunch," Paula said.
"Oh, I haven't known Leif nearly that long," I said.
"I suppose we can let someone new join. I hope you won't feel left out by all our inside jokes, the numerous shared experiences of our long history together," David said.
He was pretty cute with his dirty blond hair, but not nearly as handsome as Leif.
"We have common experiences?" Keaton asked.
"Yeah, yesterday we all had chicken pasta alfredo and bread sticks for lunch."
"That was an amazing coincidence," Leif said.
"You want to hear something even more amazing. I did too," I said.
"No way! That is freaky," Paula said, laughing.
I shook my head. Leif's old, old friends were weird. I immediately liked them. What's more, they didn't look down on me. They were actually being nice.
"What happened to your arm?" Keaton asked, nodding to Leif's bruised and scraped right arm.
Leif paused.
"He got that from helping me. Leif stepped in to save me from a bully. He's my hero," I said.
Leif didn't have anything to do with saving me from Taryn. Jaxon did that, but Taryn did attack me and Leif saved me in an even bigger way. Without him, I'd now be a corpse and no doubt the talk of the school. I would be known as the kid who hung himself.
"If you're a hero, you have to wear tights and a cape from now on," Paula said.
"He didn't say superhero, and I'm not a hero."
"You are to me," I said.
I meant it. He had saved my life.
"I still think you should wear tights," David said.
"You just want to laugh at me," Leif said.
"Well, yeah. What are old, old friends for?"
Sitting with this group was a totally different experience from sitting with the rejects in virtual silence. This group talked and laughed. What's more, they accepted me. They were all better dressed, especially Paula. Leif and Keaton both wore gold chains. David was wearing an actual Ralph Lauren button down shirt. I was wearing a faded hand me down Nike shirt with a small hole in the side that my mom had purchased for Anthony in a resale shop. I was obviously the poor kid of the group, but no one seemed to care.
"Hey, who was the bully?" David asked.
"Taryn Yates."
"Ah, he's a dick. In the seventh grade he gave me a power wedgie that hurt so bad I wouldn't even wear underwear for a month for fear he'd give me another. He is a jerk."
"He's not one of my favorites," I said.
"I'm sure he has problems of his own. Maybe he's a bully because he gets bullied at home," Leif said.
The others shrugged. Leif could see the good in anyone.
"Perhaps, but he's still a jerk. I swear I can sometimes still feel that wedgie," David said.
"He's definitely not a nice guy. I haven't done anything to him and he jumped me."
"I think you were in one of my classes in middle school," Keaton said, gazing at me.
"Yeah, I was."
"I thought so, but I don't remember you very well."
"I don't usually make much of an impression."
"I remember you," Paula said.
"She remembers everyone," David said.
"I have a good memory. One of my friends had a huge crush on you in fifth grade."
"Me?" I asked.
"Yes, you."
"You must make more of an impression than you think," Keaton said.
I shrugged.
"Did you try out for the football team, Leif," Keaton said.
"No. I decided against it."
"That's a relief. From the way you were talking yesterday, I feared you were going to do it. Jocks are losers. They play sports because they have no life," Keaton said.
"Hey! I played in San Diego" Leif said.
"Okay, so you were a loser, but now you're not. You have improved yourself."
I laughed.
"Most jocks are jerks."
"Some can be rather full of themselves," Leif said. "The quarterback on our team last year was always checking himself out in the mirror while he flexed his muscles. He was a fairly nice guy, but he was so conceited it was funny."
"You'd never be like that, would you, Leif?" David asked.
"I'd uh… rather not say," Leif said, pretending he had something to hide.
"I can't picture you as conceited," Paula said.
"I don't have anything to be conceited about."
All of us stared at him and cocked our heads.
"What?" he asked.
"Have you looked in the mirror recently?" Paula asked.
"Yes, I have, but I don't gaze at myself adoringly.
"Hell, I would if I looked like you."
"You are extremely handsome, Leif."
He blushed and shrugged.
"I'd kill to have hair like yours," David said.
"I'd kill to have a body like yours," Keaton said.
"You could work out, you know," David said.
"Yeah, but that requires effort, and I'm far too lazy."
"I'm with you on that, Keaton," I said.
"If you guys don't stop, you'll make me conceited. You might create a monster. Instead of talking to you guys at lunch, I'll gaze at my reflection in a hand mirror."
"That will never happen. I don't think you're capable of conceit," Paula said.
"Well, I'm just… me. I'm nothing special."
"Everyone is special," Paula said.
"Then I'm only as special as everyone else."
You're way more special than that. I gazed at him and nearly sighed. I quickly looked away. I did not need to start having warm and fuzzy thoughts about him. He had saved my life and he was my hero, so it was only natural that I was fond of him, but he was way, way out of my league, even if he was gay, which was doubtful.
"I've heard a lot of girls talking about you. They think you're special," Paula said.
"Only because I'm new, no doubt."
"No. they are falling for your curly blond hair and dreamy blue eyes."
"Are you included in that group?" David asked.
"I see Leif as a friend. He is pretty to look at, but I sense we are better as friends."
"That probably only leaves the rest of the girls in school who will be after you. I'm beginning to hate you," David said, but he obviously didn't mean it.
"I sincerely doubt that, and there is no reason to hate me. I'm gay," Leif said.
He said it so matter of factly that I was shocked more by the way he said it than by the fact he was gay. It was quite obvious that he didn't see his statement as a dramatic coming out. So much for my doubts.
"Really?" Keaton asked.
"No, I just tell people that to confuse them. Yes, really."
"Me too."
"Oh, I have my very own gay boys. There are two of you. I'm so excited," Paula said.
"Uh, three," I said.
I had always kept my sexual orientation on the downlow, but announcing it now didn't seem like a big deal.
"Even better. Can we make it four?" she asked, looking at David.
"Well, uh… the thing is… I'm not sure. I like girls… but I kind of… I don't know what I am."
"That's perfectly understandable and perfectly fine," she said. "Since we're on the subject, I like boys, but I have a friend who is a lesbian."
"This had been an interesting lunch," Keaton said.
"I'm so excited! Any one of you going to join the glee club? I love to sing. Oh, how about auditioning for the play? It might be a musical this year," Paula said.
"Not a chance," Leif said.
"Don't look at me. I don't sing in public," I said.
David and Keaton shook their heads.
"What kind of gay and confused gay boys are you? Where is the stereotypical love of theater?"
"I like movies. Doesn't that count?" Leif asked.
"Musicals."
"No. I like the Marvel superhero films. Musicals have way too much singing in them."
"Oh, do not make me come across this table, Leif!"
"I love the show Glee if that makes you feel better," David said.
"What's Glee ?" I asked.
"Oh, you did not just say that!" Paula and David both said together.
"You're right. I did not say that," I said, shaking my head.
I was afraid they were going to attack me.
"You seriously don't know?" David asked.
"Sorry."
"I'm sorry, Owen, but I don't know if you're allowed to be gay," Paula said.
"Um, I like Lady Gaga, especially Poker Face ."
"Hmm, perhaps you can be gay."
"Well, you let me know," I said.
She grinned.
Lunch period ended much faster than anticipated. It usually seemed to drag on forever, but not today. The lot of us stood and walked over to dump our trays, then proceeded up the hallway, still talking. One by one we split off until it was only Leif and me.
"Thanks for today and especially for last night," I said.
"You're welcome. How do you feel."
"Better."
"Great."
"I know you're probably busy, but I'd like to pay you back for that sundae. Maybe I could take you out to eat sometime."
I felt incredibly nervous. I wasn't asking him on a date, but it felt like it.
"That would be great. I already have lots of homework for this evening, but sometime soon. Okay?"
"Absolutely."
"I'll see you tomorrow at lunch, if not before."
"Yeah. See you."
The rest of the school day passed more pleasantly than any I could remember in a long time. It was as if Leif had waved his magic want and poof, suddenly I had friends.
I didn't feel like such an outcast as I walked home from school. I walked alone, but I didn't feel alone as I usually did. I felt almost normal, and to think I'd almost killed myself less than a day ago.
"I need the TV."
"I got here first," I said.
"Maybe so, but I have a DVD I have to watch for class and I have to return it tomorrow, so move it," Anthony said.
"Get lost."
"Do you have your homework done?"
"You're not my dad, so get off me."
"Do what your brother says," mom said as she walked through the living room on her way to the kitchen.
"Why should I do what he says?"
"Because your grades were horrible last year and I expect you to do your homework."
I rolled my eyes, but got up from the couch.
"Traitor," I whispered as I passed Anthony and headed upstairs.
The less dad was around, the more Anthony lorded it over me. He considered himself the man of the house and completely forgot he was only two years older than me.
Unlike the previous afternoon, I had brought my books home with me, mostly because I knew he would bitch at me if I didn't. I started my physical science homework. I skipped yesterday's assignment which I hadn't read, and moved onto todays, which was about the laws of motion. It made sense for a while, until I came to inertia. 'An object in motion tends to stay in motion unless acted upon by another force.' That made no sense to me. When I walked somewhere, I only remained in motion until I reached my destination. No force acted to stop me, unless reaching my destination was considered a force.
My reading for Literature wasn't much better. The assignment was to read the first two chapters of Lord of the Flies . I actually kind of liked it because it was about boys around my age who were marooned on an island. What's not to like about scantily clad boys running around wild? What I didn't like was the questions I had to answer about the chapters. Why couldn't we read it and let it go at that?
I worked until supper. I didn't get algebra, and French confused me. why did I have to know algebra and French anyway? I was positive I would never use algebra, and I had no plans to go to France. Nothing made much sense to me except for my literature assignment and that took too long to read.
"Did you do your homework?" mom asked as I sat down at the table for supper.
"I've been working on it the entire tine I was upstairs," I said.
Anthony's expression indicated he wasn't sure about that but he didn't open his mouth.
"Where's dad?" Chad asked.
"He's working late."
"He's always working late," Chad said with frustration and sadness in his voice.
"He works very hard," mom said.
The real reason he worked so late so often was that he didn't want to spend time with us. We could blame him? Anthony was a bully, I was a loser, and Chad was a pain in the ass. Who would want to come home to that? Mom always looked tired, so she was no big thrill either.
Dad probably looked at other families and wondered why he got stuck with us. I wondered what would happen when mom and dad got divorced. I was almost sure that was going to happen. I wasn't looking forward to it. Anthony was bad enough now. When mom and dad got divorced, he'd really order me around. It was kind of like the Lord of the Flies .
Mom's spaghetti was good; except we had it too often. Dad worked a lot, but he didn't make much money. He was probably sick of supporting us all. I was getting sick of spaghetti, but I didn't complain. Mom had enough problems.
Chad jabbered on all through supper. The kid could talk more than anyone I knew. We never had to worry about silence when he was around. I felt like telling him to shut up, but then he'd cry. I'd get in trouble with mom, and Anthony would yell at me. it wasn't worth it.
Anthony and mom foolishly encouraged him by commenting and asking questions. I never got to say anything. I didn't actually have much to say, but I felt like blurting out I was gay just to get some attention.
"Toss the football with me after supper?" Chad asked me as we neared the end of supper.
"I have a better idea. There is a cool electrical experiment you can try. All you need is a fork and an electrical outlet," I said.
"Owen," mom warned.
"What do you do with the fork?" he asked.
"Nothing. Owen was kidding."
I moved my hand in a so-so gesture.
"Come on. Toss the football with me."
"If I must."
"Is your homework finished?" Anthony asked. I speared him with a look of pure hatred, but it didn't faze him. "Is it?"
"No."
"Then you need to finish your homework instead," mom said.
"Why is everyone against me?" I asked.
"Don't be so dramatic," Anthony said.
"Did you finish your homework?" I asked.
"Yes. I always do."
I wanted to smack him. He was Mr. Perfect and sometimes I hated him for it.
"I'll play with you, Chad," he said.
"Cool!"
I despised this family sometimes.
I finished supper and stood up.
"If anyone needs me, I'll be locked in my cell."
"Don't look so glum, sweetheart," mom said.
"That's easy for you to say. You don't have homework."
I stood. She gave me a hug, which I didn't mind too much, although it was kind of annoying. Chad pounced and hugged her next. He was a big hugger. He hugged me before I could escape.
"Get off me, you little monkey."
That made him laugh.
"Come on, half pint, let's go outside," Anthony said.
"Who you calling half pint?"
"You would prefer I call you shrimp or short stuff?"
"Grr. Chad attack!"
He launched himself at Anthony, who held him at arm's length and then lifted him in the air with one arm.
"Do you surrender? Do you?" shouted Chad as he punched uselessly and his legs flailed in the air.
"Yeah. Yeah. I surrender. Come on… half pint," he added as he walked toward the door.
Chad bolted after him and the two of them disappeared.
I returned to my books. Homework sucked and there was so much of it! I didn't see the value of it. A high school diploma was fairly worthless anyway. High school was one big waste of time, but at least I had some friends now. Before, I didn't much care if I got kicked out or not, but now I'd miss David, Keaton, Paula, and especially Leif. I supposed doing some homework wasn't too big a price to pay.
Anthony returned later and immediately pulled off his shirt and began working out with his dumbbells.
"Do you have to do that?" I asked.
"What's wrong? Is it turning you on?"
He laughed, but my face paled slightly and I looked away. He stopped doing curls and long moments of silence followed. I could feel him gazing at me.
"Are you gay, Owen?"
"That's none of your fucking business!" I said, turning to him.
"Okay, okay. Jesus. I just… Listen, it's fine if you are. I'm sorry about that crack I made. I was being a jerk."
"Yes, you were."
"Sorry," he said.
He gazed at me for a few moments and then went back to his curls.
I turned away so he couldn't see my face. I chewed my lower lip as I tried to figure out the algebra I couldn't get before supper. My mind wondered. Why did he ask if I was gay? I had never thought of liking boys as a big secret, and yet a little part of me was afraid for my family to know. Mostly, I didn't want anyone in my business, but sometimes I grew tired of having a secret.
He moved on to bench presses, then military presses, while I tried to continue studying. It was a big waste of time. I couldn't concentrate.
"Did you mean what you said?" I asked when he stopped working out.
"Yes. I meant it. I am sorry for being a jerk."
"No. About it being fine if I'm gay."
"Yes, I did."
I chewed on my lip again.
"Well, I am. Gay that is."
He nodded.
"I kind of figured you were."
"Why?"
"You have a hard time keeping your eyes off Jake when he's here, especially when he's shirtless."
"Oh. Has he said anything?"
"No. I doubt he notices. He's not the most observant guy."
"So, you're really okay with me being gay?"
"Yes, I am, and I'm truly sorry for that crack I made. It was a stupid thing to say. I'm sorry if I've said anything else like that. I actually try not to, but you know how it is."
"You try not to because of me?"
"I try not to say things that could hurt someone who is gay or trans or whatever. I don't even know what trans means. All I know is there is way too much hate flying around."
"I don' get the whole trans thing either." I admitted. "So, I guess you like girls?"
"Yes, I like girls. I'm not into guys."
"What about Chad. Have you guys talked about anything like that?"
"No, we haven't, but he is only eleven. I suspect he's gay, but… I don't know. It's only a feeling."
I nodded.
"Well, thanks for being cool with it."
"Thank you for being cool with me liking girls."
I thought that was an odd thing to say, but then I got it. He was saying that I didn't need to thank him because he should be cool with it, at least that's what I thought he meant.
"I'm sorry for blowing up like that."
"I'm accustomed to you blowing up and it was a shitty thing of me to say."
"I still overreacted. I'm sorry.
"No problem. Brothers are supposed to yell at each other."
I smiled and went back to my books, but practically ignored them. Out of all my family, I figured Anthony was the most likely one to give me grief over being gay. He was a bully and bullies weren't known for being accepting, except he wasn't being a bully just now. Sometimes he confused me.
"I hate homework. I don't understand it," I announced, sitting down beside Leif with my tray of Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, and yeast roll.
"What don't you understand?" Keaton asked.
"Any of it. I didn't get our physical science reading. French makes no sense, and even though I'm in the stupid group in algebra, I don't understand it."
"I can help you," Leif said.
"With what part?" I asked.
"All of it. I'm pretty good with academic stuff."
"Is there anything you aren't good at?" Paula asked.
"Um…"
Leif concentrated for several long moments.
"I know what you aren't good at; figuring out what you aren't good at," David said.
"Yeah, I totally suck at that."
"You had better be glad you're such a nice guy, or we might all hate you," Paula said.
"I can't help it. I've always been good at most things."
"Yeah, let's not pick on Leif. He obviously has a disability. He has a complete lack of suck," David said.
"I have an excess of that. I suck at everything. I'll be happy to give you some suck," I said.
"I think he's coming on to you, Leif," Keaton said.
"That's not what I meant!" I said.
I could feel myself blushing, although I wouldn't mind if the opportunity was there. All three of them actually. Does that make me a slut?
"You can admit it, Owen. That's all you gay guys think about, right?" Paula asked.
"Gay guys and hetero girls, right Paula?" Keaton asked.
"No comment."
"That means yes," David said.
"I will be happy to help you with your homework. How about after school?" Leif said.
"I'd like that. I truly need help. My brother will not get off my ass. My mom was nagging me about it last night."
"Your brother?" Paula asked.
"Yeah. Anthony. He is only two years older than mee, but dad isn't around much, so he thinks he's my boss. He's kind of a bully, although…"
"What?" David asked.
"He was being a jerk yesterday evening and asked if watching him work out turned me on."
"You think he's into you?" David asked with a shocked expression on his face.
"No. It wasn't like that. He was being an ass and it got to me. He noticed and asked if I was gay. At first, I told him to mind his own business, but then later I told him I was. He was very cool about it."
"He must not be a total tool then," David said.
"No, just mostly."
"Brothers are usually a pain in the ass," Keaton said.
"I have two of them. Anthony orders me around and my little brother, Chad is so annoying I constantly want to smack him."
"How old is he?" Paula asked.
"Eleven."
"I bet he's cute."
"He's a pest. If you want him, you can have him."
What followed was a complaint session about our families. Everyone had something to bitch about, except Leif that is.
"Come on, Leif. You are the only one who hasn't told us what a horrible family you have," David said.
"Sorry. I don't have any complaints about my family."
"Come on, don't you have an annoying little brother or a mom who snoops in your room?" Keaton asked.
"No, my mom is great and so is my dad. I have two brothers, one older and one younger, and we get along really well."
"I don't think you're real, Leif. Your life is too perfect."
He shrugged and smiled sadly.
My afternoon classes sucked, but then they always did. The exception was literature, which I kind of liked because we were discussing the Lord of the Flies , and I had actually read the assignment. I wasn't accustomed to speaking out in class and doing so made the time pass faster.
Leif met me after school at my locker. I have no idea how he found it, but then CHS isn't all that big, with probably less than a hundred and fifty students.
"Hey, do you want to come home with me to study?" he asked.
"Sure, that would be great. It's not easy to study at my house with Chad there. The kid is hyperactive."
"Great, you can stay for supper. I know mom won't mind."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"I'd better let my mom know where I am. You know how mothers are."
"We can stop by there first."
"Oh. Okay."
I wasn't thrilled about him seeing where I lived. Our house wasn't all that nice. It wasn't completely horrible, but it was old and run down.
"So, everything is giving you trouble, huh?" he asked.
"Pretty much, except I'm okay in literature right now. I like the book we're reading."
"Yeah. Being marooned on an island with sexy boys is a nice fantasy, although that's not what the book is about."
"How do you know they're sexy?"
"It's a book. I can picture them anyway I want, so I picture them sexy."
"Me too," I admitted. "I also picture some of them a little older."
"That's the beauty of books. You can change things if you want. Books are usually changed a lot if they are made into films. Take Romeo and Juliet , although that's a play and not a novel. Romeo and Juliet are actually about thirteen or fourteen, but most people would freak out if actors of the proper age played the parts."
I laughed.
"Yeah, adults don't seem to think anyone under eighteen should be interested in sex."
"Well, this country was founded by Puritans. They were basically freaks who didn't seem to like anything that involved pleasure. They even outlawed Christmas."
"Come on. Really?"
"Yes. I think a lot of their weirdness had been passed on. It's really too bad the indigenous peoples didn't slaughter them all."
I laughed.
"I love your take on American history."
"Well, they had no damn business coming here. This land wasn't theirs. Everything they had, except for the few things they brought with them, they stole."
"I'm sure they didn't see it that way."
"Villains never see themselves as villains, but it doesn't change what they are."
"I've never heard anyone give the Pilgrims such a smackdown before. I like it."
"It's merely the truth. I'm not sure when my ancestors arrived, but they were probably no better."
"I'm actually part Cherokee myself, not enough that you can notice, so I get what you're saying. They were forced from their land back east into what is now Oklahoma."
"That's what I'm saying."
It wasn't a long walk to my house and before I knew it, we were there.
"This is it," I said.
He glanced at my house but didn't say anything.
I was embarrassed as we walked toward the house, but he didn't seem to notice that it wasn't all that nice.
We went inside. Anthony was lounging in the living room.
"Where's mom? I'm going to Leif's to study."
"Try the kitchen. Hey, I'm Anthony," my brother said, standing up to shake Leif's hand, which surprised me.
"I'm Leif."
"You two are really going to study? Owen isn't known for studying."
"Yeah, we're really going to study."
"That's amazing."
"Anthony thinks he's funny. He's wrong. Come on," I said.
I led him to the kitchen, where mom was cleaning.
"Mom, I'm eating supper at Leif's house. We're going there to study," I said.
"Is that okay with your mother?" she asked him.
"Oh yes. My brothers bring home friends all the time. She never minds. It's nice to meet you."
"It's nice to meet you as well, Leif." She turned to me. "You behave yourself."
"I will. Geeze! I'm not a barbarian."
I rolled my eyes. Him and I departed. He was kind enough not to comment on the dump I lived in.
"Your brother is hot," he said.
"Eww!"
He laughed.
"Come on, you've surely noticed his body. Damn!"
"I bet he's not as built as you."
He shrugged.
"He's very sexy."
"Do not say nice things about my nemesis."
"He can't be too bad."
"Oh, he is, believe me."
"I love his eyes. I've never seen a guy with one green eye and one blue. It makes him look mysterious and sexy."
"Hey, that's two times you've used that four letter word to describe my brother. Stop it."
"Sexy."
"Yes, don't say it."
He laughed.
His house wasn't too far away, but he lived in a large, two-story house in a very nice area of Chouteau. It was old like ours, but didn't look it. Instead, it looked as if it might have been built yesterday. It was in perfect condition and the yard was landscaped. We entered through a front door with fancy lead glass windows.
His house was as nice as ours was rundown. As we entered, a younger boy who looked like Leif was in the living room watching Big Hero 6 on a huge high-definition TV. The sound was amazing. The kid was too engrossed in his movie to notice us as we passed through on our way to the kitchen.
"Hey, mom. This is Owen, one of my friends from school. We're going to study in my room."
"It's nice to meet you, Owen. I hope you can stay for supper."
"That's very kind of you," I said.
"He'll stay. We have a lot of work to do."
He picked up two huge chocolate chip cookies with M&Ms in them and handed me one.
"Thank you."
"Let's go."
"It was nice to meet you," I called out to his mother as he pulled me out of the kitchen."
We walked upstairs to his room. It was far larger than the one I shared with Anthony.
"You have your own room."
"Yeah."
"You are so lucky. You have your own TV too, and holy cow, is that a PlayStation 4 Pro?"
"Yeah," he said, grinning.
"You have an Alexa? Can I try it?"
"Sure, just say computer and then ask whatever you want."
"Computer, are my grades going to improve after I study with Leif?"
"Hmm, I don't know that one."
"Computer, what's the temperature?"
"It is currently 84 degrees. The high today will be 86 and the low 72."
"That is so cool."
"It's useful and fun," he said. "Computer, tea, Earl Gray, hot."
"Unable to comply, replicators are off line."
I laughed.
"Come on, let's get to work. I promise we can play with my PlayStation and Alexa another time."
"Okay, but it won't be as fun."
"Where would you like to start, French. Je parle assez bien le francais."
"Um, did you just say you speak French?" I asked.
"Very good. I said I speak French fairly well."
"I only understood Je parle and francais."
"Then you know some French."
"That's putting a very positive spin on it. I barely speak English."
"Tue s tellement drole."
"I'm what? All I got was tu."
"I said you are so funny."
He smiled at me, bit his lip, and then said, "Je souhaiterais pouvoir t'embrasser."
"Uh, did you just say something about being embarrassed?"
"No."
"What did you say then?"
"You will have to learn French before you find out."
"Grr."
"Let's go through today's lesson."
We sat together on his bed with our shoulders touching. I could smell the strawberry scent of his hair and detect a trace of cologne. He smelled so nice it was a bit hard to concentrate at first, but he was able to get me to focus in a way a teacher could not. What's more, with him I could understand the lesson much better. I had a feeling he spoke French extremely well instead of merely fairly well. When he was thinking to himself, he did so out loud in French.
"Watch my lips," he said and then repeated a phrase from our lesson.
I wanted to kiss him so badly I could hardly stand it. I watched his lips, but I didn't hear what he said. I was lost in his beauty.
"Um, can you repeat that?"
We worked on French for nearly an hour. I was actually beginning to get today's lesson.
"Allons-nous passer a l'algebre?"
"Do I want to pass algebra?"
"I asked if you would like to move on to algebra."
"I guess we should, but I'm beginning to get French. I guess I'm not as dumb as I thought."
"You aren't dumb at all, Owen."
"I feel like I am."
He turned and gazed into my eyes.
"You're not."
I have a feeling I looked like Bambi at the moment. What he said touched me. he meant it and I believed him. The truth is, I had always felt less intelligent than others, which is one reason I didn't bother with homework much. I didn't want to try too hard because I was afraid I'd fail.
"I'm taking pre-algebra," I said, as if I was apologizing.
"It's best to begin with the basics if you have trouble with math."
"I more than have trouble with it. Math kicks my ass."
"Until now," he said.
We began to work and again, I could understand it when he explained it to me. Sure, it was only pre-algebra and only the lessons we had covered in class so far, but I got it, which I most certainly had not in class.
"You would make a great teacher," I said.
"Thanks."
"I bet you'll be a great scientist someday. Perhaps you'll find a cure for cancer or design a spaceship that makes it possible to travel to other planets."
He seemed to grow sad for a moment, but the moment passed quickly.
"Perhaps I'll manage a McDonald's ."
"Well, McDonald's is important, but I think you're destined for greater things. Someday, when you're famous, I'll tell people that you tutored me in high school and they'll be amazed."
"Mom said to tell you supper is ready."
I turned to see an older boy, who was as handsome as Leif, standing in the doorway.
"Hey, Ryland, this is Owen."
"Hey, Owen."
"Hey," I said, and then he was gone.
"Wow, your brother is hot."
"I didn't know you liked them young."
"Huh?"
"It was an attempt at a joke. I was pretending I thought you meant Grayson. That's my little brother's name."
"Oh! I didn't get it."
"It was a poorly executed joke. It's proof I'm not good at everything."
"Well, I meant your big brother. He's built."
"Eww."
"Hey, you thought my brother was hot."
"That is completely different."
"How?"
"It just is."
"Brilliant logic there, Leif."
"Come on."
We walked downstairs and into the kitchen, where Ryland and Grayson were already attacking the food. Leif's dad smiled when he saw me.
"Hi, Owen. I hope you like salmon. The missus cooks great salmon."
"I don't think I've ever tried it, but I'm sure I'll like it."
"Have a seat, Owen, and dig in. We're very informal here," said his mom.
"Thanks."
I relaxed. I feared we would be sitting in a dining room with candles on the table and everyone dressed up except for me. Everyone was better dressed than me, but not formally dressed.
"Chew with your mouth closed, you barbarian. Owen will think no one has manners in California," their father said to Grayson, which nearly made Grayson laugh.
"You should see my little brother eat," I said.
I soon had a chunk of salmon, mashed potatoes, green beans, and homemade hush puppies on my plate. I tried the salmon.
"This is great!" I said.
"Thank you, Owen," their mom said.
If I was home, I'd probably be eating spaghetti, mac & cheese, or frozen pizza for supper. Leif's family had to be rich.
"You like in a beautiful town, Owen," his dad said. "I'm accustomed to San Diego, but Rowan grew up in Chouteau. All her family is here."
"It's wonderful to be back, and my parents love seeing their grandchildren," Rowan said.
Even Leif's mom had an unusual and cool name.
"Chouteau is very small. I'm surprised you like it here," I said.
"It's small, but there is less competition here. I barely got to play back in San Diego, but I made the football team here and I'm already a receiver," Ryland said.
"Are you okay, Leif?" I asked.
He suddenly looked a bit ill.
"Leif?" his mom asked, suddenly alarmed.
His entire family gazed at him and seemed on edge.
"I'm fine. I just suddenly missed football."
"I'm sorry, bro," Ryland said.
"No. It's cool. I'm glad you made receiver."
"Leif was an awesome player back in San Diego. He was the quarterback of the middle school team," Ryland said.
"Yeah, he was awesome!" Grayson said.
"Why don't you play here then?" I asked.
Sports were most certainly not one of my interests, but it seemed like someone who was that good would want to continue.
"I'm tired of it. It was time to move on."
Ryland reached over and squeezed Leif's hand for a moment. He was awfully affectionate for an older brother. I wondered if Ryland was gay too and if he and Leif had ever… but no, stuff like that only happened in porn. He was merely a caring older brother, but then again, that only happened in very old TV shows. I was confused.
"I personally think you're wise for giving up football," I said. "I always thought athletes are crazy. Seriously, I've seen the football team running until they are gasping for breath, and I've seen them practicing when it's broiling hot. I don't think any sane person would do that."
"You're right. We're all a little crazy," Ryland said, grinning.
Damn, he was sexy.
"I like to run," Grayson said.
"You play football too?" I asked.
"Yes, and I'm good."
"He is," Leif said, smiling.
Leif's family was weird. They got along so well it was scary. When I asked Leif if he was okay, his entire family was immediately concerned as if they thought he had suddenly come down with the flu. Everyone was so supportive and caring I felt like I was sitting in one of those old TV shows like Father Knows Best , that mom liked to watch, or maybe I'd stepped into the Twilight Zone , where bizarre things took place.
Everyone was incredibly kind to me too. My clothes weren't as nice and I obviously came from a poorer family, but they didn't care. They treated me as if I was dressed as nicely as they were. a part of me wanted to move in with them.
We talked all through supper. No matter what I said, everyone was genuinely interested. Ryland didn't treat me like a kid the way my brother did, and Grayson wasn't a pest like Chad was. I wanted to do more then live here. I wanted to trade families.
"I made a chocolate cake for dessert. Let's do this the easy way, is there anyone who does not want vanilla ice cream to go with it?" Leif's mom asked.
No one spoke.
"You'll love mom's cake. It's my favorite dessert," Leif said.
I expected the cake to be tall and round, but instead it was wide and flat. She placed slices in bowls instead of on plates and his dad scooped on ice cream.
"See what you think," Leif said when he passed me a bowl.
"Oh my god! This is the best thing ever," I said, and I meant it.
The cake was moist and perfectly chocolaty. The icing was extra sweet and had pecans in it. The taste combination with the vanilla ice cream was heavenly.
"Thank you," his mom said.
Leif and I returned to his room after we finished dessert.
"Your mom is a great cook."
"Yeah, but I bet your mom is too."
"She makes really great spaghetti, but we never have anything like salmon."
"We have fish about once a week. I love her catfish."
"I almost asked your parents if they'd adopt me."
He laughed.
"I bet it was the chocolate cake that got to you."
"That was amazing. I've had good chocolate cake before, but that was incredible. It's probably a good thing I don't live here. I'd get fat just from eating cake!"
"Are you ready to return to homework?"
"Yeah. Wow, I never thought I'd say that."
"Why is that?"
"I usually don't even do my homework."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah. I have recently, but only because Anthony makes me. my grades have never been all that good."
"How will you get into college?"
"I doubt I'll go."
"You have to go," he said as if I'd die if I didn't.
"My family doesn't have a lot of money. Anthony will probably go because he's smart and can probably get an athletic scholarship. Chad will likely go too. They are both a lot smarter than me. I'm… well, let' face it. I'm dumb."
"No, you aren't," he said earnestly.
"I'm afraid I am."
"You may believe you are, but you aren't. I can tell that just from what we've done already."
"Come on, I'm taking pre-algebra. That's the remedial math of the nineth grade."
"You're doing very well, Owen. Seriously."
"I am?"
"Yes. You are getting this."
"Maybe it's because you're such a good teacher."
"Even a great teacher has to have something to work with. You're actually rather smart."
"I don't think anyone has ever called me smart before."
"They should, because you are."
I was… astounded. He truly meant it.
"Let's get started. We still have to cover physical science and we should discuss our literature assignment for tomorrow."
"I'm ready," I said.
Oddly enough, I meant it. I especially looked forward to discussing the Lord of the Flies, because I felt more comfortable with it than all the rest.
I departed two hours later; with a big piece of chocolate cake his mom had wrapped up for me to take home. I took something else with me too, a revelation. Maybe I wasn't stupid. Leif thought I was smart and he was very intelligent. What's more, I could remember much of what we'd covered. Je parle un francais maintenant. He taught me that. It meant 'I speak French a little now.' It was true. I could speak a little French. The truly crazy thing was that I wanted to learn more.
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