A Matter of Trust

by Rafael Henry

'Another scotch?'

'Maybe one more please… plenty of water. I quite fancy an early night.'

'Oh. Ok then. You tired or something?'

'No… not at all.'

'Right. Better make this one the last then.'

Theo had looked at his friend when Jon had said that. The words had been said with that sort of dismissive tone that suggested something to him. Neither of the two men were in their first flush of youth and sex was something that usually needed to be planned for in advance, unless of course it was something exciting and unexpected which it very rarely was these days for one of them, and not at all for the other.

Not that sex with Jon wasn't exciting… it was in the normal course of events, but it was something that they needed to build up to… you know… something that they both knew was on the agenda , so to speak. There were other problems too. Jon was a married man, and although he had exhibited worrying character traits as a boy, as far as his divorced mother was concerned, he had managed to sustain various relationships in his youth, if not boyhood, with the opposite sex for respectable periods of time. None of them lasted that long, but limited sexual contact had been achieved. It wasn't until Jon's twentieth year that he achieved penetrative sex with a girl, as opposed to a boy, and then it had been rather an ugly conquest that resulted in a rushed and unsatisfactory orgasm on his part, and nothing of the sort for her.

He'd come inside her, unprotected, and they both had to think what to do about that, resulting in some clumsy post sex evasive action that rather diminished everything that had preceded it. She liked him, the charming and nice looking art student, and he quite liked her. Art school wasn't the kind of place to start admitting to yourself that you might possibly be gay…ish. No, not if you wanted the right kind of friends to hang out with in the pub most evenings. There had been a problem at school too which hadn't helped Jon's confidence, but all that was in the past… buried just under the surface, and out of sight thankfully, hopefully for ever.

They just had the one night to spend together. Jon's wife of thirty years, Vandra, was away on a visit to her sister in Northumberland. She didn't really want to go, and disliked the long train journey up to Durham, but it was really her sense of duty that bade her make the trip up north. Theo had a busy life and really couldn't accommodate Jon for longer. It would be better this way… short and hopefully rather sweet. Jon knew that their tenuous relationship wasn't going to lead to what Theo really wanted. No, Theo quite reasonably, wanted something on a permanent basis… something he could nurture in his own way… in a very loving way. Jon had thus far always been loyal to his wife, even on one occasion when she was not loyal to him, but again that was all in the past albeit not forgotten, at least not by Jon.

Jon and Theo had slept together before… twice in fact… and it had worked well, mechanically speaking. Emotionally speaking… well, that was another matter and too complicated to discuss in depth with each other perhaps, or maybe something to steer clear of for now at least. That was tricky if not dangerous ground and might lead to very difficult decisions having to be made. No, leave things as they are and try to enjoy the moments when they came. Be pragmatic… be sensible adults.

Starting sex was always difficult for both of them. The whisky helps of course but there was a danger that they would drink too much and then… well, then there wouldn't be any sex at all. Both of them wanted to drink too much, and both of them knew that if they did, then the other thing wouldn't happen. Jon suspected that he wanted it to happen more than Theo did, and Jon was already on his third whisky.

He was sitting back on the comfortable leather sofa and patted the seat cushion to his right in a gesture of invitation to Theo. Theo smiled and parked himself carefully next to Jon, with his cut glass tumbler two thirds full of the amber liquid, albeit well-watered down. The two men sat quietly together, glasses in hands. Jon, as usual, felt apprehensive but wanting, and not knowing quite how to start, such was the infrequency of these occasions. Theo was quite prepared to accommodate Jon, and almost looking forward to it, if only Jon would do something … just an arm around him would be a good start. Theo would never start things. It would have to be Jon… Jon should make the first move. Theo would never want to come between a man and his wife. No, that would be quite wrong.

It took courage for Jon to do what he had just done, and he needed to gauge Theo's reaction to his touching. He could never really tell Theo's mood.

'Is that ok?'

'Of course it is Jon… rather nice actually.'

'Do you think we've drunk too much?'

'No.'

That was a good sign as far as Jon was concerned, so Jon put a hand on Theo's thigh, and quite high up… more than half way. He left it there for a few seconds and then began to move it gently around.

'Still ok?'

The answer to that question didn't come in the form of words. Jon felt Theo's arm around the back of his head and he knew that the next move had to be his. This is the way it worked for them. Theo would never be the proactive one. It had to come from Jon, which when it came to sex, meant progress tended to be slow. Theo was enjoying Jon's ministrations as his hand went slightly higher. His erections, when he got them, came slowly, but he was aware that something was afoot in his loins. If it went on, an adjustment would become necessary.

Theo really wanted to be kissed, but Jon was bad about this aspect of their sex together. He had admitted at the start that he wasn't a great kisser. Even, or especially, his wife had said the same thing to him. There had been times when Van as Jon called her, had wondered about him because of his reluctance to put his mouth where she needed it… on her mouth. She wanted those enduring embraces to happen especially before sex in order to make it happen at all, but Jon's reticence was fairly obvious, and frankly it upset her, but that's Jon, and she must accept his ways. After all, Jon had so many other good points.

Van would go through with the sex all the same, hoping that Jon wouldn't take too long over it. As men go, he was usually conveniently swift, aided of course by his private thoughts that had, sadly, little to do with her. She'd become quite an adept faker these day, born out of necessity as her sexual anatomy had become far less forgiving. Not that Jon treated her roughly during intercourse… he didn't. His foreplay was sensitive and accurate, albeit often straying into an area that was taboo for her. She didn't much care for what Jon was hinting at. The other way round for him, she could encompass perfectly well, although she never understood why he wanted that touched, but touch it she did, and quite enjoyed it surprisingly. It smacked of medical procedure that rather interested her, oddly. She'd always admired his bottom which she considered very aesthetically pleasing with its sexy protrusion and a firmness that was good for a man of his age. When asked to penetrate him there to the maximum that her middle finger would allow, she gladly obliged with a latex clad hand, which invariably resulted in Jon's fairly immediate and self-induced orgasm which got her off the hook rather, and always remembering to lift his tee shirt higher up his tummy to save the washing. Her knowledge of prostate massage, something she had heard about from a woman's magazine, was sketchy at best, but it was something that Jon knew far more about.

Things were moving nicely now. The two men had kissed at some length, and suitably deeply to move Theo, and their hands had been actively engaged within their now loosened jeans. Theo's penis had reacted swiftly had now become almost uncomfortably hard in the process. With his spare physique it was interestingly obvious to Jon, who had himself been hard for some minutes, just at the prospect of sex.

Upstairs in the bedroom they undressed each other slowly. Theo was standing naked now, but Jon still wore his underwear that he liked to keep about him right up to the very end, and beyond if he could get away with it. It made him feel like one of them , because that's what they wore… or used to in those days. Sadly, fashions change which is of deep regret to Jon.

Their sex that evening was good, especially for Jon. Theo wanted to please him because that's what Theo is like. Jon liked what Theo was doing to him in bed, and when that was combined with the other thing, he knew it wouldn't be long before he came. He had wanted to be penetrated fully tonight, but by the way things had started, he knew that that was unlikely, and he'd best enjoy what he was getting, and be grateful. When he came, Theo dealt with it nicely and there was nothing left over to see to. If Theo had wanted Jon inside him, it was obviously too late now, at least for an hour or so.

It's the turn of the unselfish Theo… and he's welcome to take what he wants, but it would be quite hard work if he wanted it that way, because it's extraordinarily rare for Jon… perhaps only ten times in his life has he had that particular pleasure.

Theo declined Jon's offer. He's filled him twice before, quite literally that time when Theo had not used a condom. This time it was a gentler affair spread over some half hour. Somehow, the waiting had increased the intensity as Theo flowed forth. Jon gasped…

'Oh… you are so beautiful when you do that Theo, you really are.'

Theo's breathing was hard and fast. Two minutes later he found words.

'You're a bad boy Jon. By the way, where did you learn to do that?'

'That would be telling, wouldn't it Theo.'

Of course they both knew where Jon had learned the basic arts of man on man sex, or should I say youth on man sex?

Perhaps I shouldn't even mention it… not say the words even, but Theo had heard all about it from Jon. He'd had no particular personal interest in the subject, that is from a man's perspective… perhaps more from a boy's, but he was never averse to hearing Jon's stories once more. Besides, Jon would enjoy the memories, and it would be a pleasant way to pass the next hour or so before Jon would want him again, properly this time. Lying in bed quietly, their bodies touching…

'So he just appeared one day, did he?'

'Yes he did. We all moved down from where we were to the new place just down the road. There were twelve of us.'

'How old were you Jon?'

'I'd just turned thirteen. I remember having my birthday tea at home on the Saturday before going back on the Sunday evening. My parents dropped me off and wanted to meet the staff looking after us there. It was an old house right on the main road… a bit dilapidated it seemed to me, but interesting. The Housemaster's assistant was new apparently… he had just been appointed to take charge of the Music in the Senior School. I was all spruced up in my uniform, most of it new. My mother always got me new kit at the beginning of every year. That's when I met him… almost as soon as we got through the front door.'

'Did he talk to you?'

'Not to start with, although I instantly found him attractive. He was dressed in pale chinos with a nice white polo shirt and not particularly short fair hair. I caught his eye and he looked away quickly. Then it happened again a minute later. This time he looked annoyed with himself. I thought that was a bit odd. I kept looking at him hoping he would catch my eye again. I couldn't help it, he was so incredibly handsome. He came over to me and started chatting with my parents which was good because he was distracted and I could watch him. He had a lovely voice too… really calm and reassuring. I could see he was going down well with my parents, especially my mother. She kept giving him these big smiles. Very embarrassing. Then they all looked at me and I remember going a shade of pink. He asked me if I was pleased to be back, or something dreadful like that. I've no idea what I said.'

'So what were you like then?'

'Oh, a fairly typical thirteen year old, although my mother said they should keep me locked up because I was too handsome for my own good. With my blond prettiness in mind I suppose, my father had made an attempt to explain the facts of life to me. Later my mother tried. I remember her telling me that boys like me had to be careful because some men would try to talk to me. I knew perfectly well what she meant. I had already had a couple of encounters with them.'

'Really?'

'Oh yes. I could always recognize them. I spent quite a lot of time at the beach in the summer and you'd find plenty there. You'd see them leaning over the railings on the prom looking down on the people below. I'd stop a few feet away from them to see what they were looking at. Invariably there would be an almost naked boy lying full length on the beach below. They were quite blatant. I'm ashamed to say that I've done it myself. They would often notice me and take it as a signal that you're interested in them, so they would follow you, like right behind you. You could feel their eyes boring into you.'

'So how were you dressed then Jon… dressed to kill I wouldn't wonder… just your flip flops and sexy swimming knickers no doubt?'

'That's what we wore then. I had several pairs, all very brief I have to say. I liked them. I felt sexy in them. They were even briefer than boys pants were then. I'd put them on when I went to bed and masturbate in them occasionally. I'd just started to produce which was a bit awkward, but I was incredibly randy in those days. There's nothing wrong with that is there?'

'Nothing's changed then. But you were rather asking for it weren't you?'

'No, but I was aware shall we say.'

'Yeah, like you were with the new teacher by any chance?'

'Yes, I admit that.'

'So, basically, you fancied the guy.'

'Yes I did, right from the off… big time.'

'But you got no encouragement from him?'

'No, nothing at all. But I got to know a few things about him though.'

'Like what?'

'Oh, I'd go into his room from time to time… have a look around.'

'How? Wasn't it all locked?'

'No. There were no locks on anything. If you were sure there was no one around, you could go anywhere. He was teaching all day right up to four thirty. In the Lower School, we finished at three fifteen. I checked his timetable in his study area. I knew exactly when I could look around. I'd go over the road to the House and have a good poke about.'

'What at exactly?'

'Everything. I'd go through the room that was next to one of the dormitories that he used as a sort of study. It had a big antique table in the middle and a sofa to one side. Then you went through a very short narrow passage and into his bedroom. He had a chest of drawers with his tee shirts, socks and other stuff, and a fitted cupboard with a couple of jackets, trousers, shirts and so on. He had really nice clothes. It all smelt really good… a sort of interesting smell.'

'All?'

'Yes, all of it, including the things you don't see on a guy. Well, not usually. I'm talking about all his personal stuff.'

'That was very naughty Jon. I hope you felt ashamed of yourself?'

'No I didn't. I needed to confirm what sort of thing my hero wore. I already had a good idea. All his trousers fitted nicely and with no jacket on… well you can imagine what I was looking at. I thought he was wonderful in every way. I suppose I had a bit of crush on him.'

'A bit of one? I'd say you had rather a large one. Did he have any idea of how you were feeling?'

'Not to start with. Can I tell you something else?'

'Go on.'

'Every time I went in there, I would always check certain places. I'd pick things up and feel them… all soft and perfumed from the laundry. I'd imagine him there naked and holding me close to him. One afternoon… it was a games afternoon… I was in there checking all the usual places. I put a pair of mine in the drawer, right underneath all the others… sort of hidden by his. Can you imagine how excited I was? I was beside myself. I actually stood there with it poking out of the front of my trousers. Can you believe that? The idea occurred to me that morning and I just decided to do it… just like that. I chose a pair I thought were nice and sexy, similar to his. They were exactly like his only smaller.'

'Yes I can believe it actually, but very risky.'

'Later I wished I hadn't done it, but despite that, I moved them from the bottom of the pile to the top… and arranged then so the name tape was very visible. God knows what he thought the next time he went into the drawer. He would have assumed a laundry woman had put them there in error I suppose. All this was about a month into the term.

I went back about two days later and they were still there, but they'd gone back to the bottom of the pile. I decided I would put them half way up the pile. It was then that I noticed something. They weren't the same pair. They were definitely different ones… some older ones from the year before… a smaller size that I would normally only wear for games. The thing is… I realised that he had worked out what I was doing, and he had agreed to play my stupid little game.'

'That sounds like a signal Jon… from him to you don't you think? What about the rest of the room? Anything interesting?'

'Oh yes. He had a small collection of videos… films and TV programme recordings and that sort of thing. Right in the middle of the row were a couple of videos with nothing printed on the spine. When I took them out, one of them was a sex education programme. The title was printed on the front cover… something like 'Growing up for Boys and Girls'. It had a picture of a mum and dad with a girl and a boy sitting having a picnic on the beach, fully dressed. We had a TV and video player downstairs so I took it down and played it. That was really risky as any of the other boys could have walked in at any time. Anyway, it was all about puberty and all that stuff. The family just played on the sand chucking a ball about stark naked with this commentary going on about body changes. The boy was about my age by the look of him… quite tall and slim with a very nice smooth little uncut willy. Later on there was a section on sexual arousal. There was an amazing sideways sequence of the boy whose name was Steve and he was totally erect… and then a shot of him holding his thing in his fingers and looking down at it. Bloody amazing it was, and quite beautiful. I didn't dare watch anymore, so I belted upstairs and put it back with the others. I had a look at his books too. Have you ever heard of a book called 'Show me'?'

'Yes. It's a rather controversial production with nude photographic studies of girls and boys isn't it?'

'Umm, it's all Will McBride photography. It was banned in some countries, but won awards in Europe. It's an interesting thing but I can understand why the prudish Americans didn't like it. Anyway, there it was on his bookshelf. It was about that time that I came to a conclusion about my new music master.'

'And?'

'If he was attracted to boys of a certain age, then there was a good chance he would find me acceptable.'

'I should think he would. Did you find anything else?'

'Yes, a series of sketchbooks. I had a quick look through them. They were interesting. There were pages and pages of drawings of boys… some of them in, shall we say, interesting poses.'

'Really?'

'Yes, really. Most of them were of the same boy. He looked very nice. He had a lovely expression… like he was looking for answers or something. Interesting.'

'Why?'

'You know… just interesting. I can't imagine there wasn't something going on there for him to expose himself like that… but not in any way crudely. They were all very sensitively posed, but very explicit at the same time. Very clever.'

'So what effect did that have on you?'

'To want to go back and look at them again! And not only that… to be his model if I possibly could be. If that kid in the drawings can do that for him, so can I. That's what I thought. Anyway, I couldn't risk staying too long so I got out of there. I went and lay on my bunk bed and tried to get my head together and… and nothing really.'

'Nothing?'

'Well, just a little play maybe.'

Theo and Jon had a chuckle over Jon's last statement. They lay together for a few minutes in quiet contemplation with no words needed.

'Do you want me to go on Theo?'

'Yes, when you're ready… if you want to. Why a bunk bed?'

'The house was quite full, so they put two of us in bunk beds in a tiny little room just off the corridor near the biggest dormitory. I was in the top bunk with James in the bottom one. We were friends already so it made sense.'

'Friends?'

'Yes, friends . We'd been experimenting sexually for quite a while and weren't about to be stopped by the bunk bed situation. My interest in the new music master… Luke was his name… was something extra… well, something potentially extra shall be say.'

'So what were you two up to then, you and James?'

'Oh, just the usual stuff that boys have to do, only with each other rather than on one's own. You can imagine no doubt.'

'Some things that you can't do on your own perhaps?'

'Maybe… now and again… with the assistance of Johnson's baby oil!'

'You'd better stop there I think. Let's just stick to the boy crush thing shall we?'

'Umm. Anyway, I'm sure he had worked out that someone was going in his room. Much later he told me how he knew.'

'Did he know it was you?'

'Yes. I suppose it was obvious really if I'd thought about it. Of course I wanted him to find out, but it was risky if my theory was wrong. If he'd been completely innocent, then I would be in deep shit, that's for sure, but I didn't think I was wrong. I had a nose for such things… I could always tell which grown-ups liked the cut of a boy's jib. If I'd been wrong about Luke he wouldn't have done anything because he would be too embarrassed to report me. It was all extremely naughty of me, but I didn't think I'd got it all wrong, at least I hoped I hadn't. After I'd found the sketchbooks, I went back about two days later. I put a pencil and a small sheet of paper inside that article of clothing that belonged to me. I knew he'd find it. It was a message to him. I could vaguely remember one of the not too explicit drawings I'd found and tried to copy it. It turned out quite well actually. It was supposed to be me. I took the fact that he had left everything as it was as a sign that he wouldn't be averse to getting nice and friendly with one of his boys. It was my only way of telling him how I was feeling. When I went back next time I found my drawing in exactly the same place. There was tick to the side of it and a mark out of ten. He'd marked it as a five, with the comment… 'Could do better', so I wrote in pencil underneath his comment… 'Me or you?'

'The next morning I looked again before breakfast after I had seen him cross the road over to the dining hall. I couldn't wait until my usual time in the afternoon. My bit of paper had gone, but there was another bit there. He had drawn the figure of a boy standing in the said article of clothing, so I wrote underneath… 'Will I have to wear those?'

The next time I looked, he'd replied with 'That would be very naughty', so I wrote underneath… I want to be.'

Luke ran a club on certain evenings which was open to any of the resident boys, and for all ages. Some nights there were quite a few kids doing their own thing, or some who wanted to continue with things they had done in class. I was quite interested and as you might imagine, a regular attender, so much so that I became one of two boys who helped tidy up and do little jobs around the place. We'd do our various jobs when the others had left, like tidying up the store room of course. All the materials were stacked on shelves against one wall in there, so the high shelves could only be reached using a small set of wooden steps.

That was the first time he touched me. I was standing on the top step, and I knew he was behind me because he said he was worried that I might fall off or something. I had both of my hands on some large books and pretended to lose my balance. I felt both of his hands steady me so I didn't topple off the thing. He put his hands, quite logically, either side of my upper thighs to steady me. I just stood there still and kept my hands on the books on the shelf. He didn't take his hands off me. I must have stood there for a good two minutes. He kept his hands on me the whole time, just moving them around a little… all around the sides of my hips with a bit of straying around, like going up and down a few inches. Then I felt one of his hands on my bottom. I stood completely still while he went on doing that.

'Is that ok Jon?'

That's all he said. I couldn't get any words out, so I just nodded.

Then he used both hands. I felt them both moving around my buttocks… his fingers tracing the lines in my underpants… the seams… all along them. I could feel myself getting stiffer by the second.

It was a glorious sensation as you can imagine, and a breakthrough for me. I was desperately hoping he would go further, but he didn't. He just said it was time to lock up, and turned off all the lights. I didn't see what state he was in… the same one as me probably. He probably just didn't want me to see him.

Nothing happened for ages after that. I think he must have got scared about what he'd done. Everything in his room went back to normal… no more messages or anything. My room-mate, James, suspected something was, or had been going on, but that's as far as it went. I never told him anything about what I'd been up to. He was very keen to keep our sex going, so I suppose I submerged myself in that. We had plenty of opportunity for it.

After lights out, we could do what we liked. We experimented with all sorts, even with the baby oil would you believe. Because his was bigger than mine, we decided that he should be the recipient of my rather slim but quite lengthy cock. He'd stretch out with his legs wide apart and I would put the oil in his bottom and on my cock and try to work it up him somehow. It actually worked quite well the few times we attempted it, but it was messy stuff and difficult to keep it contained as it were, so eventually we gave up on it. I did get a couple of orgasms along the way by rubbing myself really quickly in between his bottom cheeks. It was huge fun while it lasted. James had such a beautiful bum. He'd hold it open for me to come in him whilst lying on his back and his knees up which we found a bit easier than when he was on his front. It was lovely… perfect in fact. You can't do it for long with that stuff. That was the problem. If you didn't come more or less straight away, that was it… finito. He got his in me a couple of times but never came properly which was a shame as far as I was concerned because he could produce sperm, unlike myself. In the end, we satisfied ourselves by rubbing our willies between the other's bottom cheeks. He had dark blond hair with lighter streaks in it… very attractive… and brown eyes which I think is quite unusual for a boy with blond hair. He was a beautiful creature. You would have loved him.

I think we'd reached a sort of plateau… Luke and I. He must have known how I felt about him, but he'd kept me at arm's length successfully for a long time. He had a girl friend who came down at weekends occasionally. She was nice… came out for long walks with us on Sundays.'

'So he didn't show any interest in you by this time?'

'Oh yes. After Club, or during it sometimes, I'd go up to his desk and show him what I'd done. I would deliberately lean against his shoulder or something like that… just make a bit of body contact to let him know I was still there.'

'Tell him what?'

'Just that… that I was still there. I managed to touch his hand sometimes, by accident on purpose. I had to keep telling him I wasn't giving up.

It was well into the summer term when, quite by accident, we were left by ourselves in the empty house. My parents had forgotten that that particular weekend was an exeat for everyone. In other words, the boarding staff got a whole weekend off because all the boys went home, or got themselves invited back to a friend's house. The Housemaster and his wife had already left when the last boy had been picked up about five on the Saturday afternoon. I was still sitting there in my games kit wondering what to do, when Luke came in from supervising cricket, also in his kit. He telephoned my home to see if I could be collected but there was no one there. Basically he had no alternative but to stay with me there until everyone turned up again on the Sunday evening. We had a social area with a TV in it and an old leather sofa and some easy chairs. When Luke came in, I was lying lengthways on the sofa, arms behind my head and my knees up. Do you remember what PE shorts looked like in those days?'

'Umm… they didn't hide much.'

'No, and probably less than not much in my case. My mother said I had beautiful legs and I should let everyone see them, so she picked out the briefest white shorts she could find at the outfitters. I loved them like that.

I remember Luke standing at the far end of the sofa taking it all in, as I lay on the sofa. I explained what I thought had happened and he just looked a bit blank when he realised the situation. I stood up, wondering how he was going to react. He said…

'Well, it looks like it's just us then. Are you ok with that Jon?'

I nodded. I felt very hot and pink in the face. It had been a very warm afternoon, in fact it still was. He looked sweaty and hot, and slightly bothered. We went to the back of the house where the kitchen was. It's where we all had hot chocolate on a Friday evening before watching the Housemaster's TV before bed time. He made me an orange squash drink. He said he needed to put his kit through the washing machine and that he could do mine at the same time. Did I want to find some clean shorts before my shower? I told him that I didn't, and that I didn't mind having nothing on for a few minutes before my shower.

'Can I have your things then please? '

I took off my white tee shirt and handed it to him. He'd already taken off his top. His chest was quite brown with a small amount of very fair hair in the middle of his chest. I remember his nipples looked dark brown and the middles stuck up. I was standing about two metres away from him. I couldn't take my eyes off this beautiful man. I slipped off my shorts and handed them to him as he undid the white cricket trousers he was wearing.

'Is this going to embarrass you Jon?'

I shook my head, speechless, and then managed an almost inaudible 'No'.

'That's good then. '

The next thing I knew was this apparition before me. He turned his back to me while he put the last of the kit in the machine. There was no hair between his buttocks… just these smooth globes of pale skin contrasting with the light tan of the rest of him. Then he turned round and smiled at me. I just looked at him… down there and then up to his face… and then back again. He was very good and made light of what might have been a very awkward situation. Within seconds, it all seemed perfectly normal. I was absolutely thrilled, and felt very grown up because he made it all seem so ordinary… like what you do every day. It was what the boys did every day, but this time with the addition of a young man in his early twenties completely naked in front of you.

I helped him wash and dry a few things that were on the drainer, by now totally relaxed with our common nudity. It all felt very liberating. I told him that I needed to sit on the loo for a bit.

We showered together, him under one, and me under the adjacent shower head. I asked him if he would do my back. The warm water and the feel of the soap on my skin and the gentle movement of his hands was a marvellous sensation that travelled all round my body… to every part of, right down to my feet. I was completely relaxed by this time. I kept telling him how good it felt. He laughed and said…

'I know how it feels Jon, you don't have to tell me… it's nice isn't it.'

He'd soaped and rinsed my shoulders and all the way down my back.

'I think I had better stop there Jon, don't you?'

'No.'

I turned to face him.

'Can you do all of me please? It feels really nice.'

He did do the rest of me, my hair, back and legs, and then all of my front, from my face all the way down to my toes. It didn't matter that my penis had hardened because his had too. I eased my foreskin back to allow the water to rinse off the glans. He didn't need to do that with his.

'It's cute isn't it?'

'Do you think so?'

'Of course I do. It's a lovely little thing.'

'Yours is nice too… a lovely big thing!'

'Well, I'm a bit older than you Jon. That's what happens. You get bigger.'

'Will I?'

'Yes, of course you will.'

'As big as you?'

'Bigger maybe.'

We chuckled at that. Then I couldn't resist it…

'Can I touch it?'

'That's not a good idea Jon.'

'Why not?'

'Because things happen Jon.'

The two men were closer now. Theo had been turned on by Jon's descriptive powers and had been gently stimulating himself for the past five minutes.

'Do you like my story Theo?'

'Umm. I'm not usually that interested in the boy stuff, but I'm rather identifying with Luke actually. You had better finish the story before it's too late Jon.'

'That's not fair. You should exercise some self-control. Anyway, I want you to save it for me. You know what little Jonny wants don't you?'

'Is that what little Jonny got then… all those years ago?'

'Maybe.'

'So, after the shower… what happened? Did you get up to his room?'

'Ah, so you want to know do you?'

'Come on you horrid little tease. Tell.'

'You can have part two in a minute. First, I need to whisper something in your ear.'

Both Jon and Theo liked to keep the best until last. Orgasms were less frequent these days and required a little more patience than in the first flush of their youth. Not to say they didn't have them, they did. This time, the foreplay was urgent and almost youthful, but the final flowering of their feelings would, by mutual agreement, take place later.

'He asked me if I was a tired boy, and I said I was. I asked him if I could see his room.'

'I thought you knew all about that already Jon?'

I smiled up at him as he dried my hair with the towel.

'No… not everything.'

'Ah, just some interesting bits then?'

'Quite interesting.'

'Ok, but you need to put something on… tee shirt and knickers please.'

'Why? It's too hot for clothes.'

'No it's not… anyway… '

'Anyway what?'

'Never mind.'

Luke came with me up to the cupboard where our clean clothes were kept. All the boys' things were in piles above a label with their name on. He looked along the shelves and picked out one from one of the neatly arranged piles.

'These ok?'

'They're not mine, they're Edwards.'

'Well, you don't mind do you? I think they're rather nice. Try them.'

He was right. They were.

'I told you. Come on model boy.'

I lay on my side, and he drew me from the foot of the bed from a foreshortened viewpoint, and then a back view from half way up my legs up to my head. They took about twenty minutes each. I liked them. He said he'd keep them with the others. He showed me all of them. There were some quite big ones as well as several studies on a single sheet. They were good. There were three different boy models as I remember, all about the same age… between eleven and thirteen by the look of them. They were very attractive boys who obviously didn't mind how they posed for Luke, and I wondered if it was their choice or his.

'What do you think?'

'They're nice.'

'Which one then… which one do you like the best?'

'This boy. I like his smile. Was he nice?'

'Oh yes.'

Luke didn't elaborate and I didn't ask. I kept looking at the pencil drawing of the smiling boy, crouching like he was, thinking how I wished I'd known him. It's strange how that image affected me because it was as if I had actually known him. Much later, I asked him to tell me more about that boy. I cried when he told me the story.

Jon loved the feel of Theo's penis and balls. He was of the opinion that Theo's whole package was rather superior to his. He spent ages playing with them as part of their foreplay, from time to time working the loose skin up and down Theo's shaft just to signal his intentions, not that he would use his hand when it came to it. No, he'd improved the ways he could employ his mouth, lips and tongue according to Theo, but he was still not as expert as some Theo had known. No, far from it, but with Theo's help it was usually job done within fifteen very pleasurable minutes, with an end result that anyone would be proud of. The first time it happened, Jon couldn't get over it for days. He thought, privately, that Theo must have a seminal vesicle the size of a half-pint glass, he produced so much.

Perhaps it was the way he had done it for him? No, surely not. It had happened for the first time in an hotel when they had sneaked a couple of days away together. No, Jon couldn't compete with Theo in lots of ways, although he couldn't complain about frequency. He achieved orgasm at least eight times a month, sometimes more. His wife Vandra would always try to accommodate Jon somehow, being well aware of his needs which hadn't changed much since pre-pubertal times for him. Once into puberty proper, things had got almost out of control. He would sometimes come four times of an evening before sleep had its way, just to keep those feelings at bay. Now, as an older man he had Theo's feelings to consider, not just his own. Theo was beautifully hard now, as his finger tip toyed with the clear secretion that Theo was providing him with, and Jon thought about curtailing his rambling tale of the subtle seduction of Luke in order to satisfy Theo more completely.

'Go on Jon. Don't end it there. I need to know.'

Indeed, Jon needed to know too. Luke had sketched him, both drawings of the boy, like Luke, in his underwear so there was little chance that Jon wasn't going to notice. For the second drawing, Luke had posed Jon so that he couldn't see his reaction to looking at his beautiful model. As his mind and the tip of the pencil followed the contours of Jon's body, and shaded in those taut and shadowy places that men find so enthralling in the boys they admire, so Luke's body had reacted, but unseen by his model. Now Luke had two more in the bank to join all the others. Jon had enjoyed being his model and had thought about how nice it was to be an object to be examined in this way. Artistic endeavours complete, Jon has a question…

'Don't you like me naked?'

'It didn't seem fair somehow… me clothed and you nude… don't you think?'

I suppose he had a point.

Luke and Jon sit on the bed leaning against the headboard. Have you ever noticed how youngsters ask questions, and they go on and on until they have a satisfactory explanation?

'What's your girlfriend's name?'

'Samantha… Sam for short.'

A pause for thought.

'Does she sleep in here… in this bed with you?'

'Yes.'

Pause for more thought.

'Do you… do it?'

'What do you mean… do it?'

'You know… have sex together?'

'Yes.'

Another pause.

'So, do you wish she was here now?'

'No, not really, but… '

'But what?'

'But… it would have been nice… to do what we usually do.'

'Sorry. It's my fault isn't it. You could have if I hadn't been here. You told her not to come didn't you?'

'Yes, but she's busy this weekend anyway.'

Pause.

'Can I be her then? I mean, if she isn't here, I am. You could just imagine I'm Samantha couldn't you? It's just me instead of her. Can I be her?'

'You're not quite the same Jon. You're a boy and she's a girl, remember? Girls and boys are subtly different, if you haven't heard.'

Another pause.

'Don't you like me then?'

'Of course I like you, but you can't be Samantha.'

'Can I try?'

Theo had a feeling about how Jon's tale was developing. It was becoming a matter of how long he was prepared to wait for its conclusion. His needs were becoming more urgent, as were Jon's.

'We were sitting side by side on the bed. I slid down and moved onto my side so I was turned towards Luke. I looked up at him and he smiled in that 'I don't mind what you're doing' kind of way. I think he was quite warming to the idea of looking after me , so to speak. I put my hand on his tummy. He didn't tell me to take it off, so I just left it there. Then he asked me… '

'Why are you so interested in what Sam and I do, Jon?'

'I said that I was curious about sex, and that I hadn't had much experience, only fooling around with James, and I wanted to know more about it from someone that knew. He looked at me, frowning… '

'Jon. I want you to tell me about James please.'

I knew he'd pick up on that.

'What have you been up to with him then?'

'Basically, I told him exactly what we did. As I was telling him, I kept my eye on the impression his penis was making in his pants. My hand was resting on his tummy just a little way above the top of them, and it didn't look that big at that moment, but it looked bigger by the time I'd finished talking about James.'

'How much did you tell him?'

'Pretty much everything. I wanted him to know that I had the potential to be a pleasurable experience for him. He must have realised by now that I was offering myself to him as a substitute for Sam. It was just a question of whether he would take me up on my offer. He was very curious as to what James and I did, in detail I might add. James was always the dominant one in our games, and I loved being his little girl, in inverted commas. We would role play our boy girl relationship all the way through to him getting his cock in me. It was fantastic fun. I would usually finish him off with my mouth, and as he roared into puberty, it all got more interesting as you might imagine. I had absolutely no problem dealing with that aspect of it, which made the prospect of Luke providing me with the same problem irresistible. It was just a matter of whether he could trust me. Boys that age are extremely untrustworthy and can't be relied upon. I had to convince him that he could trust me completely. Of course he could, but he didn't know that… at least not yet.'

'So, did you get any further with him that night, physically speaking?'

'I told him I loved the feel of his tummy, and the little downy golden hair on it. I started to move my hand around the warm skin, and pressing my face against his shoulder. I remember how hard the muscle in his shoulder felt. I started to kiss his skin. I could see he was completely hard now. It stuck straight up in his pants so that the end of it was poking up under the waistband. There was about a couple of centimetres visible and it looked very shiny. At the time I didn't know what that was.'

'You do now, eh?'

'Indeed so, you messy pup. Did you know that some men can secrete up to five millilitres of that stuff? What about you then Theo… somewhere around two perchance? Anyway, I reckon Luke was a three.

It was about this time when I felt his arm behind my back, pulling me into him. I started making sort of whimpering noises, so he asked me what the matter was.'

'I've got this pain… here.'

I knew it was an old trick, but I thought he might find it quite funny. It always made James laugh. He turned towards me looking worried.

'What's the matter with it Jon?'

I had my hand in my pants.

'Would it upset you if I did it. That's why it hurts a bit I think.'

Oh dear, that was bad. Anyway, I lay on my back looking down at my less magnificent, but very stiff willy. He chuckled…

'You poor boy. You had better get on with it then.'

'Will you help me please?'

'How?'

'I directed his hand between my legs. He got the message and started stimulating all the skin between my legs and around my balls, and down between my buttocks. I tried not to come because I wanted it to last forever, but it was quite impossible not to. I don't think I lasted more than two minutes if that. I remember biting his shoulder really hard just as I came. He really liked that. It left teeth marks on him. I turned sideways and put my hand back on his tummy, a bit lower this time, and touched a very wet patch of skin. It felt very slippery. I could feel the tip of his penis too. I was that close. I asked him what the shiny stuff was.'

'What's that stuff?'

'Nothing… it's just a little harmless fluid that comes out when… well you don't need to know about that now.'

'I do. Tell me, please?'

'I didn't actually know anything about it, so his explanation was quite instructional, especially nature's purpose in creating it. Now I understood it, it all seemed so incredibly clever… the whole reproductive process. Then he said that if that wasn't enough, we could get it from a tube. I asked him what he meant, and he reached down the side of the bed and showed me a blue and white tube with a little white cap on it. He said it was a kind of jelly stuff that made everything slippery so it would work properly, and that was my problem with James. He said what we had used wasn't good enough, and that this jelly is what we needed. I asked him why… '

'It's a lubricant Jon. You don't get it do you. Look, it helps the boy's penis to slide into the girl way more easily… it does the same job as the stuff you can feel on my tummy right now. Get it?'

'I get it. So boys can use it too?'

'Uhuh.'

'Can I try it?'

'I'm not sure what are you asking me to do Jon?'

'Let me be your girlfriend… just for a bit… please? Can't I take Sam's place tonight? I'll be good, I promise. Please Luke?'

There was a long silence while I waited for Luke's reaction to what I'd just come out with. He must have been thinking about it. He still had his arm around me and my hand was still on his tummy. My heart was going, and I was desperately hoping that he would let me. I knew I had to convince him somehow.

'I know what you're thinking… you think I can't be trusted, but I can… I can be trusted Luke, really I can. I promise. Do you believe me?'

'Yes Jon, I believe you, but it's not quite that simple I'm afraid.'

'Yes it is… it is simple Luke. Can I feel that stuff please? I want to see what it feels like. Can I?'

'He found the tube and handed it to me. I undid the top and put a little bead of the stuff on the end of my finger and moved it about between my finger and thumb. It felt like the stuff on his tummy… very slippery.'

'Please Luke, will you put some in me? I can't reach it properly.'

'I turned onto my tummy with my legs slightly apart. He got up on his side and with one hand he held a buttock to one side so he could access my bottom easily. I'll never forget that sensation. He put one finger against the opening of my bottom and pressed against it gently. After a few seconds the tip of his finger slipped through the outer ring of muscle, and then within a minute or so, right inside me, way up me. I lay with my face on his forearm smelling his sweet skin all the time he was doing it… the hairs on his arm in my mouth as I pretended to bite him. Then he did something interesting. He slid his one finger out and put two fingers into me and worked them right up, and down, and then up again, and then the same thing with three.'

'Does that feel uncomfortable Jon?'

'No… it feels nice.'

'I don't remember the moment, but I found myself with my hand inside his pants holding his penis. It felt very long and very hard and quite wet. I started to move the skin up and down and he didn't do anything to stop me. He took his fingers out of my bottom and lay on his back.

I knew he'd given in. He was breathing quite hard now. I sat up quickly and got myself between his legs and pulled his pants lower so that his cock was exposed completely. I got hold of his balls with one hand, leaned forward and with my other hand I lifted his cock upwards and into my mouth. It was what I did with James all the time. Matt had told me what felt good, so I just did the same thing to Luke. It was just like James's only bigger… in fact I couldn't get much more than the end part in my mouth. With James I could get more than half way down, but not Luke. He held my shoulders while I worked my tongue and lips all around the head and all around the sensitive part at the back. From the noises he was making I knew I was doing ok. I couldn't believe I was doing this to my hero… to this beautiful man… that I was making love to him, and he to me, in his own way.

He said later that he'd told me to stop, but I didn't hear him. My mouth was getting tired after two or three minutes so I started to rub him up and down with my fist. He tried to push my head upwards but I didn't let him. I knew what was going to happen and I wanted to be close to it… to be part of it. I could see the opening getting wider and stuff oozing out of it… more of the clear fluid. Then it happened. I just kept going while it all spurted out in waves. I'd kept my mouth open and quite close, so I managed to get some. I liked James's stuff when it started for him, and Luke's was the same. I wished I had got more of it.

Afterwards I lay on top of him while he got his breath back. His skin was hot and glistening. He turned his head towards me and I put my mouth on his. I wanted desperately for him to know that I had done it like Sam would have done, and that I hadn't let him down… that I'd been a good boy… his special boy… that I could be his special girl if only he would let me.

It wasn't even dark when we went to sleep. I remember curling up as he held my back. I had my face in his chest. He was so warm and lovely and I felt safe with him. Then he started to stroke my hair. I don't remember him stopping. I must have fallen asleep. We never discussed my going to my own bed because it seemed so natural that we would be with each other all night.

When I woke the next morning I was ready for him… unbelievably ready for him. I think I must have subconsciously been planning what I was going to do. He wasn't properly awake and not, I don't think, quite aware of what I started to do with him. His balls felt heavy in the palm of my hand, and quite loose in the soft skin that contained them, and his cock was already hard. I felt the tip of it and the same slippery sensation. I put my fingers to my mouth and noticed the different perfume… lighter and more delicate than the night before. I took more from him, rubbing it along my lips and onto my tongue. I took all I could get from him… all he had.

I think he must have been awake by now, but he kept his head on one side on the pillow looking like he was still asleep. I climbed onto him with my knees either side of his body so that I could lower myself onto him. I had his penis trapped underneath me in what I thought was just the right place. I undid the tube of gel and put loads into my bottom… tons of it. Then I moved forwards very gradually until I could feel him right at the entrance to my opening. I managed to get my hand onto him to make sure it was in the right place and then started to lower myself. At this point I felt his hand move between my legs and he held himself at an angle. It took a while but after a minute or so he was in me, maybe a couple of centimetres. Then… '

'Jon… move over… quickly.'

'I did as he said, and I lay down on my back. He got up onto his knees beside me and put more of the gel onto his cock, gently smoothing it over the whole length. He put one of the pillows under my hips and got hold of my legs and pushed them back a bit. That's how James and I did it, so I knew how to help him.

It wasn't difficult… it really wasn't. I just had this sensation of being completely full to start with, as he gradually got further and further inside me, until he was all the way in. It was a fantastic feeling. Once I'd got used to him, I told him to do it to me as hard as he wanted. I wanted him to do it hard and fast. I was desperate that he should enjoy me in his own way and give me everything he had. He was up on his elbows so I could reach my own penis which I started to rub. It was a weird feeling that started in my tummy. I wasn't cumming at that point at all but something inside me was starting. I'd had the same sort of feeling with James, but not quite like this. It got stronger when he pulled out about half way which actually felt more exciting. He started to go quite fast, and I just had to stop rubbing my own cock. I held onto his hips and he bent lower and we kissed. His mouth was wet, and I could feel his tongue on mine. I think I started to cry, it was all so beautiful. It was at that point that this feeling got deeper and deeper inside me.

'Jon… Jon… I'm going to come soon… darling boy… my dear darling beautiful boy.'

'He was only just inside me when he came. I could actually feel it all happening. I wasn't touching myself when I came too, just after he'd started pouring into me. He went on for ages it seemed, but mine was over quite quickly in a succession of really rapid contractions. After that I had this lingering feeling of emptiness. It was really strange. Something else too. After we'd had our cums, he didn't pull out of me, but went right into me again… right up. It was amazing.

I think he realized that I'd probably had enough and he felt under the pillow and brought out several bits of tissue, When took his cock out it was all shiny with some goo around the end of it. He quickly put the tissue against my bottom and told me to hold it there. Then with another lot of tissue, he wiped the stuff off his cock. It was shiny stuff with milky streaks in it over the whole length. He carried me into the bathroom with me giggling like some girl and told me to stand still.

I could feel a warm sensation, like liquid running down the inside of my thigh coming from my bottom. I knew what it was of course, and the thought of it made me harden again. My bottom felt quite hot, like there was still something in there. Luke ran the water in the bath. He knelt and washed me everywhere.

It was an hour or so before the hot bum feeling went, but I didn't want to lose the feeling of him there , not ever.

I love James, and the way we do it, and that's so easy, and very quick with him… too quick in fact. Luke was a different kettle of fish… a different can of worms. It was if Luke is inside me now for ever. I was his girl.

We drove to the beach that day, and walked for miles until we had to leave to get back by four. It was never like that again, but that didn't matter somehow. He left at the end of the next term, by which time we were in the Senior School and had all moved on the big House just down the road. I never heard from him. At the end of that year, my parents moved me to another school in Suffolk. They never gave me a proper reason why.'

'So, no hard feelings then… towards Luke?'

'No, of course not. Why should I have? I behaved in a manipulative way and I wanted to be taken by him, and he took me. Essentially, I seduced him, not the other way around. Then, as now, it's a matter of trust.'

'Quite, but I have to say that you were rather a naughty boy wouldn't you say?'

'Oh yes. I was rather a naughty boy… I have to admit that.'

'Umm. And proud of it?'

Jon didn't answer that question. Well he did I suppose… with one of those wry smiles of his. Naughty boy indeed.

Of course Theo had waited patiently until the end of the story. Jon had not only been gently stimulating Theo with the spoken words, but also with his sensitive touching. Jon, ever appreciative of his friend's kindness to him, now gave Theo the attention he hoped he wanted. Theo observed Jon's best efforts with a degree of scepticism, although it did seem to be working, at least thus far. He put his head back and began to think his own thoughts… the youth he'd met in Amsterdam last summer that just might have been. They had embraced rather more than kissed outside the bar well after midnight but he hadn't been asked back for the night, but they had touched each other enough to know something about themselves and Theo had liked what he had felt, albeit so briefly.

Theo's body began to tell him that Jon was going to succeed in his quest, which, frankly, was no more than Jon's efforts deserved. Yes, it was going to happen, and by this time both of them knew it.

There was something that had delighted Jon the very first time he had seen Theo come, and he was not to be disappointed this time surely?

No, indeed he was not disappointed.

'Oh Theo, that was so beautiful'… Jon thought but didn't say, but he remembered the one time he had said it, and truly meant it.

The couple drifted to sleep eventually, their books let go by their sides, Theo's the latest Patrick Gale, 'A place called Winter'… Jon's something about architecture. Neither knew what the morning would bring, but Jon could but hope. After all, these days are precious… they may not come again…

… .and in the morning?

'Are you awake Jon? Or was that twitch of your hand something you do in your sleep?'

'Kind of.'

'So how do you feel this morning sweetheart?'

'Umm. How do you think?'

'Really?'

'Yes, really.'

Five minutes later.

'Am I right like this Jon?'

'Yes… that's perfect. Are you receiving me Theo?'

'You mean, am I ready to receive you?'

'Yes I suppose so.'

'You had better fire away then. Do what you will with me.'

'Do you mean that?'

'Umm. Enjoy yourself. I'm quite robust… not just a pretty fairy you know.'

'Since when were you pretty then?'

'I'm prettier then you are.'

'I resent that.'

'So… what are you going to do about it then?'

'This.'

'Go on then… little boy, and don't spare the horses.'

'You mean don't spare the doggy don't you? Sure?'

'Perfectly. Come on doggy. Go for it.'

'Well, don't say you didn't ask for it.'

… and not long after that unwise invitation…

I didn't mean it Jon… about not sparing the horses… shit!.......for God's sake Jon!

This little doggy is not going to be spared… come on doggy… come on doggy!

Five minutes later.

'Bloody hell Jon! I don't believe you . Where the hell did that come from?'

'The usual place. Was I a bit over enthusiastic then?'

'No, not at all. You gave me a bloody good orgasm, I do know that. Bloody hell, that was good.'

'Oh… so glad you enjoyed it.'

'I don't know what you were thinking of … not him I hope?'

'What… Luke?'

'Yes, him… your pet teacher.'

'No I wasn't as a matter of fact.'

'Ah… must have been the beautiful brown eyed bunny then. By the way, it was true wasn't it? Your nice little tale of seduction? Come on Jon… was it true?'

A pause.

'Why are you smiling Jon? Don't tell me the whole thing was a cock and bull story?'

'Well it worked didn't it?'

'It worked very nicely, but was it true? Go on, tell me, or… '

'Or what?'

THE END

So was it true… or was it all just a fiction? You'll have to ask me, but I can't guarantee I'll tell you the truth… but I just might.

Thank you, Anthony Camacho, for kindly editing this story.

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We support Ukraine — Мы поддерживаем Украину — Ми підтримуємо Україну

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A Matter of Trust

by Rafael Henry

… .and in the morning?

Five minutes later.

… and not long after that unwise invitation…

Five minutes later.