You Don't Always Get What You Want
by Nico Grey
IV
Winter finally arrived with a vengeance during the second week of January. But Ed was prepared for it. Not only had the Amazon deliveries with thermometer, oximeter, and blood pressure cuff arrived, so had another package.
While Eric looked with dismay at the report for a snowstorm likely to dump more than a foot of snow across southern Vermont within a few days, Ed displayed the package.
"Snow boots?" Eric was confused. "How will they help me run through a foot of snow?"
"Cross country ski boots," Ed corrected him. "I have skis. And now you have a pair of boots in your size. It isn't quite the same as running, but it will help you maintain your fitness level until the snow melts.
"If you want, you can do your running in the gym at school. But whenever you feel like being outside and enjoying nature, cross country skiing will help keep you in shape for running."
Ed enjoyed watching Eric's eyes as he considered the possibility. The boy was so easy to read. When the wheels stopped spinning, and his decision was firmly locked in, he turned to Ed and held up the boots.
"How do I do this?" he wondered.
Ed was inspired to get out and do more skiing, too. Since Vic died, Ed had gradually lost interest in winter activities. He was surprised to discover that, even for a loner like himself, being outside with someone else was much more enjoyable than being out there alone. Perhaps he was reliving his own youth vicariously as he watched the young pup frolic in the snow.
Once Eric was comfortable on skis, Ed knew that he wouldn't be able to keep up with him. Rather than hold the boy back, he encouraged him to take on terrain that kept them in sight of each other, while providing more challenge to Eric's abilities.
Some days Eric skied alone. But more and more frequently, Ed found himself taking a break from his computer to be out on the woods trails after school let out for the day.
So is this one
Ed was surprised when he opened his e-mail program and found Emily's message still there waiting for him. It had arrived just before the new year and he hadn't even bothered to open it yet.
Part of him was tempted to send the message to the recycling bin— a big part of him, really. But knowing Emily's capacity for mischief, Ed decided that he should at least check the message to see what she had to say.
It wasn't any great surprise. Personal invective. Threats. And a very clear statement that she didn't plan to help him at all unless he made it worth her while.
His impulse, again, was to simply ignore her. She hadn't said anything unexpected, or said anything to concern him. But Ed did enjoy the idea of frustrating Emily just a bit.
He had already kept her waiting several weeks for a reply. A reply was finally in order.
"I've given Danny's resting place a lot of thought," he informed her. "I believed he might be most at peace back here in Vermont. But I've looked into the situation in San Francisco more closely. It turns out that Danny met some gentle people there. I think he'll rest most comfortably among them.
" They accepted him and they loved him." Ed found that final spiteful observation most satisfying. He was at peace with his decision. And he was at peace with himself.
With the decision made, Ed reached out to Frank Kane.
"I'm taking your advice, Frank," Ed told him. "I think that remaining in San Francisco is best for Danny.
"I'll need your help later. I want to purchase a monument for Danny's grave and I'll establish some sort of endowment for that shelter that meant so much to him. But please bill me for all the work you've done on this so far."
Frank started to sound uncomfortable again, so Ed cut him off.
"I insist, Frank. You've been an enormous help with your legal expertise and with your advice. And as I told you the last time we spoke, I can afford to pay for all you did with more than just gratitude. I trust you to be fair to me. But please be fair to yourself, too."
Frank sighed. "Well since you put it that way. All I'll ask is my basic rate. I can't take more. But if you want to do something more, maybe you could invest it well for me.
" My Ronan did something very special for his brother this past Christmas. I'm not rewarding him now. I think the sacrifice he made needs to be a real sacrifice for it to be meaningful. But I'd like to do the same for him next Christmas," he concluded hopefully.
"Say no more," Ed said. "I may wait a month or two to get in, but I think Microsoft is about to have a very good year. I'll set up something for your boy. Don't worry about anything. Just contact me when you need the money."
Ed had never met Frank's kids. But the feeling that he could help reward one of them for doing well actually made him feel good.
'Lord, Vic,' Ed glanced up at the ceiling, 'I can barely recognize myself these days.'
Ed was surprised to find himself and Eric becoming involved in discussions about Danny with increasing frequency. He never mentioned the subject to the boy, but he didn't deflect whenever Eric brought it up.
Eric was excited about the idea that Ed was planning to purchase a monument for Danny's grave site. He was full of boyish ideas about Danny's 'family' and finding some way to include mention of them on his stone. Ed was curious, too. So he indulged the boy and asked Frank Kane to have his California investigator find out a little more about the people that had been part of Danny's life.
Ed was even more touched when Eric asked for permission to use his computer. He wanted to research different kinds of flowers, especially those that would thrive in Vermont's climate. He was planning to help create a memorial garden for Danny in Ed's back yard.
With those plans well established, Eric was champing at the bit for the arrival of spring in all its glory. He was still running and was planning to join the track and field squad just as soon as its practices started.
The only possible issue was that, even with winter over, Eric was still stopping in to see Ed after school on a fairly regular basis. On the other hand, Ed found that he didn't mind those interruptions at all. He got the majority of his work done by mid-afternoon and planned to spend time with the boy each day. His main concern was that organized practices for the track team would start soon, cutting into the time available for Eric's visits.
Ed wondered at the change in himself. Intellectually, he understood that Eric was starting to fill a need that he hadn't been aware of until he learned that Danny had died. But it was still strange adjusting to the change in his feelings about being around people. It wasn't just that he could tolerate people. He actually found himself looking forward to seeing some of them.
Track season began and Ed adjusted to the change, although not without some sense of loss. He resumed his traditional workload, keeping busy for hours at a time. He did spend more time working outside in his yard. Eric had dreams of projects they would complete together, and Ed didn't want to let the boy down.
He even put aside his customary reticence and took in a few of the track meets at the local high school. He was pleased to see Eric run well in the distance events. A red-haired boy that he took to be Micah was clearly the best runner on the Silver River Middle School team, but Eric could hold his own.
He noticed Judy Mitchell attending the track meets, as well. She was obviously there for her nephew. But Ed noticed her cheering for Eric, too. He also intercepted a couple of knowing looks she cast in his direction. They made him uncomfortable, but the feeling wasn't overwhelming.
With a little effort, Ed even found that contact with Judy was tolerable. He discovered himself standing next to her along the fence surrounding the track while the boys were racing. Ed had started to become suspicious of coincidences as they fell neatly into place, so he took a chance.
"So, an educator for life?" he inquired.
Judy had the good grace to blush.
"Guilty," she admitted.
"You might have said something," he suggested.
"Would that have made a difference?" she wondered.
Ed also had the grace to blush.
"Probably not. More than likely, I'd have run in the opposite direction. I really wasn't very interested in getting too involved with new people for a while. An old college friend I was living with died. . ."
"Vic," she contributed.
Ed was startled. "Yeah. Vic. You knew him?"
She smiled gently. "We met around town. He was a lovely man."
"My best friend," Ed contributed. "I'm surprised that he never mentioned you."
"It was probably the timing," Judy explained. "He suggested that I connect with you online. He thought you'd be more comfortable with some distance."
Ed considered that.
"He was probably right. I really wasn't eager to meet people. Bad divorce and all," he shrugged. "Then Vic got sick. I probably intuited a pattern in that."
"I think you picked a good time to emerge," she told him as Micah loped past them, Eric hanging on doggedly in his wake. "It's made a great difference."
Ed didn't know what to say. He felt pleased by her observation, even proud, but he found it hard to feel comfortable accepting credit for Eric.
"He's a good lad." It was the best he could do.
Judy smiled her gentle smile again and turned her attention back to the race.
With the end of the school year, Eric started visiting Ed again daily. Ed knew that he was working for Chet a couple of mornings every week, and on Saturday. But Eric ran every afternoon. And every time he ran, Ed was outdoors working in his garden.
Eric was particularly enthusiastic about the flower bed that he had designed as a memorial to Danny. It might have felt intrusive to Ed if he hadn't already worked through his emotions over the loss. He understood that Eric's interest was well-meaning, so he indulged it.
He decided that his support was a good investment every time he had to send Eric home from his labor in the deepening twilight. The boy took the project every bit as seriously as he took his running and his work for Chet Jordan.
Ed was impressed that the boy continued to run every day, no matter the heat of the weather.
" Why don't you run with Micah?" he asked Eric as they were working on Danny's garden one afternoon.
The boy seemed uncomfortable.
"I don't know if he wants to," he said.
"You could ask him." To Ed that seemed obvious.
"But he might say no," Eric squirmed.
"You won't know unless you ask," Ed advised. He considered his next question for a moment. "Do you like him?"
"Of course." Eric understood what Ed meant. They still discussed Eric's 'two-spirits' occasionally.
"Have you told him?" Ed asked.
Eric looked away and shook his head.
"Not yet. I really want to be his friend first. Maybe later I'll find out if he likes me the same way I like him."
"Friends usually share common interests," Ed pointed out. "They like to do things together. You both run. Ask him to join you."
"But what if he doesn't want to?" Eric fretted.
Ed's e-mail exchanges with EduK8R, and his subsequent conversations with Judy, had provided him with some inside information about Micah. But he wasn't sure that it was really his place to share it with Eric.
" If he says that he doesn't want to, then at least you'll know. But if you never ask him, you'll never find out if he does want to," Ed pointed out reasonably.
The emotions of very few thirteen-year-olds are reasonable. Eric screwed up his face. He wasn't yet ready to confront his fear.
It wasn't in Ed's nature to get involved in other people's business, but he still tried to be helpful. Unfortunately, it turned out that Judy Mitchell and Micah were away during a large part of the summer. She took the boy travelling to show him places he had never seen before, and they spent some time visiting with his mother.
Micah wasn't very welcome in his father's home, but his mother missed him. While her two younger children were away at camp for a week, she spent the time in Antioch visiting with her oldest son and her sister.
Ed knew that Eric was frustrated that Micah wasn't available for most of the summer. But he sublimated that frustration into his running and the work he was doing for both Chet and Ed.
Ed admired the way the boy focused on those obligations. In addition, he did his best to keep Eric occupied with reading material about local and regional history. Eric was particularly interested in the lives of the Original Peoples in the area. During moments of casual conversation, he offered plot suggestions and pleaded with Ed to write more stories like "Two Spirits Together".
Ed indulged the boy occasionally. But he spent more time encouraging him toward activities that would broaden his social perspectives. He understood that peer relationships would prove a vital part of Eric's personal growth as he progressed toward adulthood.
There was no way for Ed to reach out to Emily. But he was curious about what had driven Danny to leave home and why he wasn't able to find what he needed for his own personal growth while living in Nevada. The Las Vegas area, during the first decade of the twenty-first century, seemed like it should have been a fairly progressive place to grow up.
While Ed had known him, during his childhood, Danny had been an enthusiastic and outgoing boy. He couldn't imagine why that boy hadn't been able to reach out and find support in a tolerant community, no matter what was happening inside his own home.
He gave some thought to contacting Frank Kane, with the possibility of hiring his investigator to locate teachers and other members of the community who might remember young Danny and could share information about his youth. Before he could make a decision, Emily saved him the trouble.
"I read your latest 'two-spirits' filth," the message began. "I've never been more embarrassed in my life! I suppose that dedication to your son was a sop to your miserable conscience!"
The invective escalated from there. Emily was ashamed that Ed wrote LGBT fiction; even more so that some of her friends and relatives knew that she had once been married to Trenton Dyce. She blamed Ed for planting the seed that had turned his son into a "filthy and godless homosexual".
The dots didn't connect readily for Ed, so against his better judgment he responded with a request for clarification. The story flowed from there, in several lengthy messages laced with poisonous accusations and personal vitriol.
Somehow or other, members of Emily's family became aware of Ed's fiction alter ego. They were naturally appalled! And even more naturally, they brought the news to Emily. After all, it was probably useful fodder to use in family court if Ed ever tried to force Emily to return the kids to Vermont.
Worse, probably as a result of these conversations, Danny had become aware that his father was writing LGBT fiction under the pen name 'Trenton Dyce'. But instead of being disgusted by that revelation, Danny began seeking out his father's work as a way of reconnecting with him.
When Danny was twelve or thirteen, Emily had started to suspect some of his behavior around other boys. And when she searched his computer's history and found that Ed's son was visiting LGBT fiction web sites, she hit the roof!
She did the only thing she could do. She enrolled Danny in a church-run private school to ensure a safe, healthy, and moral education— putting paid, Ed suspected, to the possibility that Frank's investigator might ever speak to teachers with any sort of unbiased recollections of Danny Russell.
Emily didn't spell out the rest of the story. But reading between the lines, Ed figured out that education hadn't benefitted Danny very much. He had rebelled. It sounded like he had even attempted to run away from home a few times before he finally said good-bye to Las Vegas— and Emily— for good at age seventeen.
It was closure of a sort for Ed. But it really only added to his heartache, knowing that his son was emotionally abandoned and almost driven from his home at such a young age.
Emily didn't mind rubbing salt in the wound, either, when Ed pointed out that she had some obligation to her own flesh and blood. If she couldn't deal with him, she should have sent him to his father.
"It wasn't like you were making any effort to stay in contact with the children," Emily reminded him.
Ed countered that she had violated the conditions imposed by the family court when she removed the children from Vermont without even contacting their father or the court.
"Well you found out where they were. But you didn't try very hard to bring them back!" she pointed out smugly.
And there wasn't much Ed could say to that. Emily's behavior had been wrong in so many ways. But it was true that he should have tried a lot harder than he had to stand up for his children. He had never anticipated that his failure would have such tragic consequences, but there it was!
At least was able to close the Emily chapter of his life. She became very evasive when he brought up the Christmas and birthday checks to Danny that "somebody" had obviously cashed.
She tried to counter that she had that authority as executrix of Danny's estate. Ed didn't even address the hypocrisy of her taking on that role. He pointed out that the role ended as soon as the estate cleared probate. After that, cashing any of those checks constituted fraud.
And that, Ed concluded with bittersweet satisfaction, meant that he had likely heard the last from Emily— at least until the statute of limitations ran out on her fraudulent acts.
Ed didn't sleep well for several days after that e-mail exchange concluded. It took him a while to get back into his usual routines of work and mentoring. But in the end he was grateful to Eric. Without a word being said, the boy seemed to understand the shift in Ed's mood. And he intuited the right balm to ease Ed's soul. "Danny's Garden" became the focus of their time together every afternoon for several weeks.
When he wasn't working for Chet or spending time with Ed, Eric threw himself furiously into getting ready for the start of school and the cross country season. He would be starting his freshman year at the high school. He understood that, as a ninth grader, he would be even smaller, compared to his teammates and competitors, than he had been in middle school. And he was determined that he wouldn't be relegated to the team's junior varsity squad, or worse. He had to stay on the team with Micah!
Ed tried to counsel temperance. He even went to the trouble of researching training techniques for young runners. But it was hard to keep Eric from running off the bit and driving himself recklessly once he had decided on his course of action.
Practice for the cross country team started in August. Ed understood that he would see even less of Eric when school opened after Labor Day. He was surprised to note that awareness came with a feeling of resignation. He didn't dwell on the realization that the idea of mentoring a boy had repelled him just three years ago, and was now something that he looked forward to. But he knew he had undergone an attitude adjustment.
'Darn that Chet Jordan!' he thought ruefully. 'I wonder how he knew.'
When school began, Ed filled the void with a heavier workload. He also made it a point to be at Silver River High School every time the cross country team hosted a race. He took some pride when he saw that Eric's efforts over the past year had earned him the final spot on the varsity team.
Judy Mitchell was also at the high school for every race. Ed sensed some tension in her, as if she was divided by her commitment to Micah and the commitment to a job that had been her life for years. But it didn't matter that a race might start less than thirty minutes after the elementary school let out for the day, she was always at the high school in time to watch the boys race away from the starting line.
Once the runners disappeared into the woods, Ed and Judy chatted until the boys began to straggle in seventeen or eighteen minutes later. It was casual conversation. But it touched on matters about which both were passionate. Before the end of September, Ed and Judy adjourned these conversations to a local restaurant once the boys had been congratulated and sent off to the showers.
The only fly in the ointment, as it were, came in reports from Chet that tensions at home had continued to become worse between Eric and his father.
"I think Les has started seeing someone," Chet advised during one of Ed's infrequent visits to the store. "I get the feeling that he thinks the boy is more than just a disappointment now. He's in the way of Les getting on with his life."
Ed hadn't really noticed much change in Eric during their visits. But he understood that the boy was still trying to make the best impression on him. Ed trusted Chet to know what was really going on. He resolved to make more effort to support the boy, whenever he noticed that Eric might need something.
It surprised Ed when he didn't see Eric for an entire week in the middle of October.
He became concerned that the boy might be ill when his performance clearly wasn't up to his usual standard in the next cross country race. Ed tried to be supportive at the end of the race. He was trying to figure out what he could do, but Judy was glancing in the direction of their parked cars, and Eric acted rather evasive before shuffling off in the direction of the school and the locker room.
When Eric didn't appear at Ed's home at all during the following week, it really set off alarm bells in Ed's mind. He determined to speak with Eric more directly once his next cross country race was over.
But when the Silver River harriers toed the starting line again, Eric wasn't among them.
Judy didn't seem to know any more than Ed, but she was concerned. Apparently, the boy hadn't been in school all week. That was a bit excessive, even with his past history of truancy.
Adding to Judy's concerns, Micah was quite upset that his friend was missing. He had mentioned to his aunt recently that Eric had become somewhat withdrawn. Now he was completely withdrawn.
Ed was surprised but relieved to find Eric working at Chet's store on Saturday. Then he was disturbed. Eric really didn't look very good. His clothing didn't appear to have seen the inside of a washing machine in weeks. And even Eric's hair, that he took such pride in, was looking tangled and dirty.
Ed's relief at seeing the boy wasn't reciprocated. When Ed tried to greet him, Eric barely looked up from his work. Ed couldn't read his demeanor, aside from the obvious message that Eric wasn't comfortable with their encounter.
Ed cut his visit short, rather than add to the awkwardness of the situation. He grabbed a journal from the periodical rack, paid for it, then offered a quick 'good-bye' to Chet and Eric.
When Ed returned to the store on Monday morning, he was pleased to find Chet working alone.
It wasn't an encouraging conversation, but Chet shared what he knew of Eric's situation with Ed.
"His father kicked him out of the house, Ed!" It felt like Chet wanted to say more. "A couple of weeks ago, he found a story in Eric's bedroom. Eric says that it was a gift from you?" he eyed Ed questioningly.
"Les lost his mind. You know he's suspected the boy of being gay. That story convinced him. Then he checked Eric's tablet— and how that redneck peckerhead ever figured out how to do that is beyond me!" he added. "But he discovered that Eric visits gay websites. So he threw everything that boy owns out in the front yard— in the middle of a pouring rain! — and when Eric came home he told him to take his stuff because he, and it, would never be welcome in his house again."
"Weeks ago?" Ed was shocked. "Why hasn't he said anything to me?"
"A few reasons, I suspect," Chet offered. "Shame is probably part of it. And embarrassment. Les wasn't much of a father to Eric, but his own father kicked him out of the house for being gay. That must have been a huge blow to his self-esteem."
"Where is he living?"
"In the woods. At least that's what he tells me," Chet said. "It sure looks like he's telling the truth."
The men shared an appalled look.
"Winter's coming soon," Ed barely spoke out loud. "What's he going to do?"
"I gave him a key to the store," Chet shrugged helplessly. "I told him to use it whenever he needs to get out of the cold. But I really don't know what else I can do."
Both men were aware of the difficulty. Even if Les had completely washed his hands of the boy, he could still create trouble for them if they chose to become too involved.
"No family?" Ed asked. But he already knew the answer. "What about friends?"
"Eric never really cultivated a lot of peer relationships," Chet said. "He didn't have the confidence. I mean, if even your parents don't want you. . ." he trailed off.
"Jesus!" And Ed wasn't a religious man.
"I thought about Judy Mitchell," Chet added. "But she's a teacher. Taking in a former student, well, Les could make trouble for her, too. And she already has Micah."
Neither man wanted to mention the obvious solution.
But Ed did. "Social services?" he suggested glumly. "But how would that work for Eric?"
Chet shook his head.
"We need a plan."
"He needs to get back in school." That seemed like an important step to Ed. "And he needs food, a way to take care of himself."
Chet nodded. "I'm paying him for his work. I can afford to give him more hours. . . but legally he is underage for employment."
"I can bring you food for him," Ed said. "I can get him some more clothes and wash his dirty clothing if he brings it to my house. If he's back in school, he can use the showers there."
" Might be a problem," Chet observed, "if some nosy teacher starts wondering why Eric is showering there so often."
" He could ask his gym teacher to use the shower. Tell him he wants to run to school every morning, but needs to clean up before classes," Ed suggested.
"Brushing his teeth, that morning routine. . . could still lead to questions," Chet noted.
"He can clean up at my place if he needs to," Ed decided.
Chet drew in an uncomfortable breath. "What if people find out about that? It could really make trouble for you, Ed. And there's another problem," he continued. "Eric may not feel worthy of your help."
Ed's confused expression cued an explanation.
" He feels like he let you down, Ed." Chet told him. "That story you gave him? That gift meant so much to him. When Les destroyed it, in Eric's mind he failed to protect something he considers precious. He thinks he betrayed a covenant with you because of his carelessness, or some such notion."
"But," Ed struggled to comprehend, "That's not a problem at all. I can print another one for him. I can print a dozen of them, if that's what he wants."
"It's what he feels," Chet explained. "He'll need reassurance."
"Okay," Ed decided. "He trusts you the most right now, so you explain everything to him. Then tell me what I need to do. I'll talk to Judy. Between all of us, we'll get him through this."
The more Ed considered the problem, the more he realized that there was a lot he really didn't know. Fortunately, he did know someone that could probably help.
"That's the situation, Frank. Or at least everything that I know," Ed concluded thirty minutes later. "What can I do for the boy?"
" Sit tight for a while, if that's possible," Frank Kane suggested. "The father's name is Lester Bowman?" It sounded like he might be organizing some notes. "There was a mother, Carla, who abandoned the boy and has been out of the picture for a few years. No other known family. And it sounds like the goal is to keep young Eric in Antioch."
Ed agreed.
"I have an investigator that I use locally," Frank informed him. "Let me put him on the case. He'll gather all the relevant information, then we can discuss options in a couple of weeks. Can your boy manage until then, do you think?"
"We'll figure it out," Ed said. "The sooner we can get this all resolved, the better. But I'm sure we can keep things from going off the rails for a while."
Ed hung up the phone and looked around his office. Through the window, he could see a light snow starting to fall outside. He hoped that Eric would take advantage of Chet's offer and spend the night in the store.
He was feeling at loose ends. He wanted to be doing something. But he was savvy enough about the way the world worked to leave important details in the hands of the people that understood them best.
Ed turned on his computer and waited. Eventually, he navigated his way to his work folders. The folder labeled "Trenton Dyce" beckoned powerfully.
Ninety minutes later, Ed scanned the finished document. "Two Sprits Together Forever". After Dyce made a few minor adjustments, Ed was feeling that perhaps it really should be published.
He composed an e-mail to Tim, offering another story for publication. He attached the Word file and opened it one last time. He checked the dedication.
" For Eric and Micah, and for every two-spirits that brings so much joy and meaning to our lives."
Ed considered again whether including Micah's name was a good idea. He barely knew the boy. For a moment, he considered e-mailing Judy to ask her opinion. Instead, he closed the attached file and hit 'send'.
The next three weeks passed in frustration and trepidation for Ed. He spoke with Chet daily. He made frequent trips to the local store for food and the personal care items that Eric needed. On a few occasions, he provided Eric transportation to school or work, but the boy usually preferred to run. Twice, while Eric was visiting to do his laundry, he led the boy to his bathroom and encouraged him to use the shower.
Frank Kane was in touch every week. But his investigator was still trying to run down loose ends before Frank was ready to propose a course of action.
Unable to leave the boy to his own devices, Ed invited Eric to share Thanksgiving dinner at his home.
It was a huge relief to Ed when Frank finally called with options for him to consider. Frank's investigator had tracked Les down and had been persuasive.
"He's a former wrestler," Frank explained. "He understands how to use leverage." Promises had been made and documents had been signed.
Eric's mother had never surfaced. The investigator had put dozens of hours into trying to locate her, but Carla had simply disappeared after she abandoned the boy.
Frank explained that while this could still lead to future complications, the child abandonment, as well as Eric's personal preferences as he grew closer to adulthood with each passing year, made it unlikely that any plans would be upset if Carla did suddenly re-emerge.
This left Ed with decisions to make. He had sound legal advice. He needed personal advice.
Vic had been gone for several years. But with each passing year, Ed found himself relying more and more on Chet's sound judgment.
"People will gossip," Chet advised. "I'm sure some already have their suspicions about Eric. A lot of people knew Vic Mowry. He lived with you for years and he never made any secret about who he was. People will jump to conclusions about you."
" I can handle the gossip," Ed was certain. "The boy needs someplace safe, someplace and somebody he can rely on. The boy needs a home."
"If that's what he wants," Chet reminded him.
"If that's what he wants," Ed agreed.
Before he returned to Chet's store, Ed spent time inspecting his home. There was certainly adequate space. The only shortcoming, he decided, would be the second bathroom. It would really need to be upgraded and modernized. Unfortunately, that wasn't going to be a weekend project. That would take planning, a contractor, and time.
Ed was pleased to find Eric working at Chet's store. But of course he was. It was Saturday.
"Could your helper go on break?" he asked Chet.
Ed got straight to the point. He didn't make a big deal of it, but he did remind Eric that the weather would only get colder for the next few months. The ground would eventually become covered with snow. Trying to satisfy his obligations to school and work, while taking good care of himself, would be pretty complicated if he continued a nomad existence.
"What I really want," Ed told Eric, "is for you to live at my house until the weather is warm again. If that's something you want, the arrangements have already been made. You father agreed, legally, so he won't interfere. The only thing that matters now is what you want to do."
The boy's reluctance didn't surprise Ed. And it didn't hurt his feelings. Chet had already warned that Eric might resist the idea, if only because of his own self-doubts.
"Maybe you can try it for a few days," Ed suggested. "Just to see if you can put up with me."
A few weeks later, Ed and Eric were sitting together in Ed's study, planning the Christmas meal.
Eric was still hesitant to impose on the holiday planning with his own wants. It had only been that morning, with Christmas but two days away, that he suggested to Ed that they venture out into the surrounding woods to locate the small fir tree that now graced their study.
"That's an awful lot of food!" Eric observed, as he glanced over the list.
"It's Christmas. There's no better reason for a bit of excess," Ed chuckled.
He checked himself abruptly. 'I chuckled,' he realized. 'When did I start chuckling?'
They concluded their meeting with a plan to go shopping in the morning.
'Shopping the day before Christmas,' Ed wondered to himself. 'Well, it won't be so bad. The boy can deal with any people that we run into.'
Christmas morning arrived for Ed at the usual time. His was awake before his alarm went off at six o'clock. He prepared breakfast for himself and the boy, leaving Eric's meal covered and warming on the cooktop. He was used to the boy waiting until seven to get up, so he wouldn't interfere with Ed's morning routine.
Instead of turning on the computer to start his day, Ed opened the refrigerator and began organizing for the holiday dinner. After Eric got up and ate breakfast, he joined Ed in prepping the meal.
"I still can't believe how much food we have," the boy observed. "We'll never eat all this!"
"Maybe," Ed allowed. "But if I recall correctly, one of the best parts of holiday meals is the leftovers. We may not have to cook another meal until the new year arrives."
Once the roast beef was in the oven, and the rest of the meal ready to simply be set on the cooktop, or thrown in the oven as well, Ed led Eric into the study. The little fir tree wasn't overwhelmed with holiday decorations, but it did still look festive.
Ed hadn't wrapped many presents for Eric. He had spent the past few weeks making sure the boy had the basic possessions he needed as a high school freshman. A load of presents under the tree might be overwhelming, he decided. Besides, there was the future to consider. Where would Eric keep everything once the weather turned warm again?
But Ed did want Eric to have something close to a traditional Christmas experience. So of course there were some presents.
Ed had first checked to see if the boy's feet had grown at all in the intervening year— a little more than the rest of him had, as it turned out— then purchased new ski boots to go with a brand new pair of cross country skis.
Ed had several pairs of skis, but he thought that Eric should have some to call his own. And while he had always been partial to Fischers, he knew that younger people usually preferred the Rossignol brand name. So Rossis it was for Eric.
Eric was deeply affected by the gift. At first, Ed didn't understand. It took a while for him to realize that in the past, Eric had rarely received any sort of gifts for Christmas.
In retrospect, Ed decided, it was probably a good thing that he hadn't splurged on presents. He would get the boy what he needed, when he needed it, without the sort of culture shock that a huge mound of presents under the tree might have precipitated.
Ed was touched that it bothered Eric not to have a gift for Ed.
"You've given me everything I need," he assured the boy. "Just keep trying hard and doing well with your life. Make good choices. I don't want any more than that."
They settled down to read quietly for a couple of hours, until it was time to begin cooking the rest of the meal.
Ed was actually enjoying Eric's anticipation as the orchestra of enticing aromas swelled in the kitchen, then began to expand to fill the rest of the house. The boy was up and down every five minutes, checking the oven timer and making sure that nothing was boiling over on the cooktop. Ed was captivated by his focus and amused by how much Eric was becoming immersed in dinner preparations.
It took them both by surprise when the doorbell rang.
Ed suppressed a grin as the boy trotted off to answer the door. He couldn't control it when he heard Eric's barely-suppressed delight.
Judy Mitchell joined him in the study a few minutes later. The sound of excited chatter from the entryway followed in her wake.
"Welcome," Ed greeted Judy. "I'm glad that you both could join us for Christmas dinner."
Ed detected the flicker of surprise that crossed Eric's face. But the boy was too involved in his conversation with Micah to say anything. Ed and Judy shared a satisfied look.
Twenty minutes of excited conversation passed and then the oven timer went off.
"We just need to take the roast out of the oven and let it rest for ten minutes, then dinner will be ready!" Ed announced.
It surprised Ed to notice a reflective expression, bordering on concern, on Eric's face as dinnertime drew closer. He didn't want to embarrass the boy, so he quietly asked for help in the kitchen.
"What's the matter?" Ed wondered, once he and Eric were alone.
It took a few moments before Eric was able to explain.
"Mr. Jordan is alone in his store, isn't he?"
Ed was so used to Chet's usual Christmas plans that it had never crossed his mind.
Eric looked hopeful. Uncertain, but hopeful.
"Mr. Jordan is working," Ed reminded Eric gently. "He doesn't have any family here in Antioch, so that's how he spends the holiday."
"Everybody needs a family. Especially on Christmas," Eric pleaded. "Could we bring Christmas to him?"
Ed glanced up and noticed Judy watching them from the kitchen doorway.
'Would that be okay?' his eyes asked her.
She smiled maternally and nodded graciously.
After a brief discussion, Ed and Judy decided that it made more sense to prepare plates of food instead of bringing the entire meal and attempting to serve it at the store. Fifteen minutes later, they had five meals carefully wrapped in aluminum foil and sealed in an insulated carrier that Eric was excitedly loading in the back of the Bronco. Beverages and desserts followed.
"We're ready to go. But I'm not letting you drive," Ed informed Eric gruffly.
Eric grinned. "That's okay. Micah and I will sit in the back seat."
He glanced shyly at the red-haired boy.
Chet tried hard not to let it show, but Ed knew that he was touched by their decision to include him in their Christmas meal. His eyes misted over slightly when Ed quietly informed him that it had been Eric's idea.
When they were all through eating, while their stomachs were making room for dessert, Chet called for their attention so he could share his appreciation.
"We've been through an eventful few years," he reflected. "I'm just thankful that everything is finally working out so well for all of us."
"Perfectly," Eric assured him from where he and Micah were huddled together over his tablet. "This is the best Christmas I ever had!"
Eric turned excitedly on Ed. "When did you publish this?" he exclaimed. "I thought I had lost it forever."
It took Ed a minute to figure out what the boy was talking about. Then he turned an accusatory expression toward Chet.
"You allow kids to hook up to that sort of filth on your internet connection?" he demanded. But his eyes were smiling.
Ed appreciated Eric's delighted expression. He was even more satisfied by the sappy, satisfied grin on Micah's face. 'It took the boy a while,' he thought, 'but it appears to have finally worked out in the end.'
"I hope you don't mind," Eric apologized, "I've been telling him about Danny."
Ed thought about it for a moment, but he really didn't mind.
"I showed him pictures of Danny's Garden and some of the ideas we have for Danny's San Francisco memorial," Eric was still somewhat tentative.
"That's fine," Ed assured him. "Maybe you and Micah will have some more ideas for what we can say on Danny's monument."
He spent a few minutes quietly appreciating the boys' enthusiastic chatter as they worked on Eric's tablet.
" Even if you're sure you don't want to bring him back," Chet observed quietly. "You could still have a monument for him here in Antioch."
"We have the garden," Ed replied. "Besides, I think I have a different sort of memorial in mind for Danny here." He watched the boys thoughtfully as he spoke.
Chet smiled inwardly. He didn't want to jinx anything.
" So are you sure this has been a good Christmas, Eric?" Chet didn't really need to ask. The boy had been beaming all afternoon.
Eric looked at Chet. He looked around the store. . . and at Judy. . . and Ed. Finally, he looked at Micah. . . into his eyes. He sighed.
"It's been so perfect," he announced. "I just wish it could never end."
"Does this mean we should plan to do it again next year?" Chet teased.
He was surprised to see Eric's expression turn pensive.
"That's something we probably should have talked about earlier," Ed interrupted. "I've been waiting for the right moment.
"Eric has been living with me, just for the winter," he explained. "But there's another option." He turned to the boy. "Your father agreed that you could live with me. I thought we should try it for a while, to make sure you were happy."
Eric offered him a perplexed expression. 'Why wouldn't I be happy?' it asked.
"If you want," Ed addressed Eric directly, "we can make this permanent. You can live with me forever," he explained.
" You father has already agreed. We just have to make an appointment to go see a judge. He works for the probate court. And since your father and I both agree, if you also agree then the judge will appointment me to be your guardian— just like Ms. Mitchell is for Micah. You can keep living with me forever, if that's what you want."
Judy was smiling gently.
Chet grinned. But he wasn't above teasing the boy a bit.
"Does that mean I'll lose my best worker?" he feigned distress.
Over the years, Eric had grown used to what passed for humor with Chet and Ed.
"Of course not!" he insisted. "I want to work even more than I already do!
"Uh, I can do that, can't I?" he asked Ed. "I mean if that judge says I can stay with you."
Ed just smiled.
"We might have to report Chet for over-working underage employees," he said. "But I'm sure he'll need you to work even more if he's in jail."
Eric shook his head and rolled his eyes.
Finally, Micah couldn't control his impatience any longer.
"So what are you going to say?" he asked Eric. "Living with Mr. Russell? Is that what you want?"
Eric gave Ed a speculative glance and pretended to eye him skeptically for a moment before his expression slowly brightened.
" Of course it is! I want that more than anything! And it's exactly what I need!"
One of my beta readers suggested that I add a little context to Ed Russell's reluctance to use the term "two-spirits" in Trenton Dyce's story about Scawesco. For those unfamiliar with the expression, it has come into use in recent years as a way for Native American peoples to refer to their own who have same-sex attractions.
Ed's reluctance, as an amateur historian, to use the term in a story set three hundred years ago is because "two-spirits" is a modern term. It was first used about thirty years ago to express Native Americans' traditional cultural acceptance of homosexuality. But the term itself has no historical associations.
Dyce ends up using the expression because it's something that many modern readers will understand. . . and because I can be shameless about relying on moderately-entertaining wordplay when creating titles for my stories.
As far as significance in this story, it really means little. It's just my way of telling you that Ed Russell is a persnickety amateur historian- character development, as it were- and perhaps for the modest educational value his ruminations provide to the reader.
Thanks to Kit for making that suggestion, and for all of the work he has done to help me improve this story and several other stories I have written this year. I'm deeply grateful for the time and effort he has put into making my work better.
Finally, Merry Christmas! - or Happy Holidays, if you prefer- to two-spirits everywhere, as well as to everyone who has taken the time to read this story. I hope that you enjoyed it.
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