The Apprentice
by and © N Fourbois
Chapter 31
Kieran quickly settled into a routine at the College. The days shortened with the onset of autumn. He had always found the Autumn Term the serious one. It was the term when most work was achieved and there were the least distractions. The Spring Term was the most drear, the term when people suffered the most illness and the weather was at its worst. Why was it called the Spring Term when most of it happened in the winter? At least it had the promise of lengthening days and better things to come. The Summer Term would be perfect, were it not for the ominous pressure of examinations which took the gilt off the gingerbread.
Kieran felt a certain frustration during these first few weeks, though. He knew that there had to be a homosexual subculture in his school's society, a secret underworld, guarded by a silent and invisible Cerberus, to which he could find no entrée, no Charon to row him across the Styx. For no known reason he suspected Jack Bastion of acting out that three headed dog. He gave out hints, had even been busted while checking out his fellow pupils and yet received neither reprehension nor encouragement. After three weeks or so a shaft of light briefly illumined the path.
Kieran had established the routine that he went home immediately after tea on Mondays. He remained behind with his friends Tuesdays to Fridays, but on Monday he wanted to get home to complete as much prep as possible before going off to the gym with Eric. One Monday in particular he finished his sticky bun and mug of tea with Jack and friends, said 'see ya later' to them and wandered back to the Sixth Form Centre to make sure William was carrying out his chores of tidying Kieran's study. As he went through the door he found the study area empty apart from two fags, Masters McLarney and Cholmondeley, having a great time chasing each other around and trying to grab each other's balls, a fine game of dicktag. At first they didn't notice Kieran come in, but after a cautionary 'ahem', they ceased immediately and started to walk around, a picture of illusionary innocence erring on the 'butter wouldn't melt in their mouths' side and trying to pretend that all was boring normality. Kieran said nothing apart from 'hi lads'. Toby disappeared into Jack's cubicle. William said "Hi, Kieran," and apart from that didn't know what else to say, erring on the side of wisdom by saying nothing. He hung his blazer over the back of Kieran's chair and got on with the job of tidying up.
Normally Kieran would have said goodbye and left William to it, but he felt he needed to stay to make sure things settled down. He didn't acknowledge at that stage that he felt enormously aroused by what he had just witnessed. The silence grew into 'one of those' silences. During his period of intense industry William took out of a side pocket in his backpack a duster and a can of Mr Sheen and started polishing Kieran's desktop and bookshelves, a service beyond the call of duty.
Finally Kieran put William out of his misery and said "So what was all that about when I turned up?" William's normal face, whiter than snow and smooth as monumental alabaster, reddened significantly. He hesitated before finally answering.
"Cholmondeley was trying to grab my balls."
"And you?"
"I was trying to stop him." This was the first time Kieran had observed William's penchant for deviousness. He was having none of it.
"By grabbing his?" William reluctantly concurred.
"You have a large quadrangle and acres of school fields if you want to play tag." Kieran was deliberately trying to make horseplay the culpable act rather than any sexual activity. "Do you think the Sixth Form Centre needs to be added to that list?"
"No, not really, Kieran," William answered reluctantly, hanging his head.
"Not really," repeated Kieran. "It does nothing either for your personal dignity or for the dignity of the Sixth Form Centre."
"You're not going to tell Bastion about Cholmondeley, are you?" begged William.
"I think that is up to Cholmondeley to tell him, but no doubt I shall be told whether he has or not." William carried on with some half hearted dusting. After a few minutes' silent work William said
"Kieran, you know Cholmondeley's gay, don't you? He told me so. He wants to wank me off."
"And you're not, William."
"No, not at all," he replied with a straight face. Kieran's heart sank, but he didn't react visibly. "Well, maybe. Just a little bit," continued William, looking up at Kieran with those large brown eyes and putting on his most winning smile. "We used to do stuff at prep school."
"You and Cholmondeley?"
"No, me and the others. Cholmondeley went to a different school."
"What sort of stuff?"
"You know. Stuff. Wanking together and touching other boys up, you know, feeling them. I don't think anyone in my year got into bumming, but I did hear of it happening at school."
"So I can put you down as gay?"
"No... yes... well, unless I'm bi."
"Do you like girls?"
"Not really, but in our PHSE lessons we were told we could change during and after adolescence. Are you gay, Kieran?"
"We're not talking about me," said Kieran emphatically.
"Cholmondeley says you are. He can tell and he says he's never wrong."
"That's enough for today, William. You've already made me late. I was supposed to be home early today."
"Sorry, Kieran. It won't happen again." Kieran packed his schoolbag and locked his laptop away safely. "Can we talk about this stuff again? You see, I've got no one I can really talk to about it and I need to know." Kieran could see that William's request was earnest. "I've only got my mother at home and I don't think she would know much. My father lives away, you see. They're divorced."
"We'll talk about it tomorrow, William, or whenever you want to. You just have to ask, but do it privately, all right?"
William had really touched Kieran's heart. He genuinely wanted to help him for there were all sorts of emotions tied up in there. He realised how lucky he was to have both a mother and a father at home.
He said goodbye to William who carried on dusting and polishing.
"I must get you a feather duster, William."
"Ooh, a tickling stick," rejoined William in a camp voice. Just as Kieran was leaving he bumped into Jack returning from tea.
"I thought you were off home early."
"I was, but something came up."
"You didn't?" said Jack deliberately misinterpreting what Kieran meant.
"No, I didn't. Tell you about it tomorrow. Must go. Cheers, Jack."
Kieran arrived home.
"You're late," his mother said in a sympathetic tone.
"I know. Sorry, but I had to deal with some trouble among the fags. The sixth formers at College are expected to deal with that sort of thing rather than involve the staff - practise our man-management skills."
"You get on with your homework," said Colleen. "Do you want anything to eat before you go to the gym?"
"No, thanks. I could be sick if I do, but can I have a snack when I get back, please?"
"Not eating with Uncle Eric tonight?"
"No. Because I'm late, I won't get my prep out of the way."
"He'll be upset. He enjoys his Monday evenings with you."
"I'll make sure I'm okay for next week."
When Eric picked him up at twenty to seven, Kieran told him all about his day at school and why he couldn't stay out late. His uncle said
"Now, that's a bit of a bummer. I won't be able to tell you what a fantastic weekend I've just had."
"You can tell me in the car."
"I wouldn't be safe driving, if I did."
"That good, was it?"
In bed that night Kieran thought through the events of the day. In fact, he got off on the fantasy of the two fags playing dicktag. Unfortunately, he felt himself warming sexually towards William McLarney, despite refuting his father's comment with a remark about being no cradle-snatcher.
Next day he took a small, framed photo of himself and Orlando and placed it on the work top in his study. He felt he had nothing to lose and maybe something to gain.
As soon as Jack boarded the bus that Tuesday, he said "So what's all this about yesterday evening, Kieran?"
"Oh, good morning, Jack." Kieran refused to say 'hi' to him, in the way he wouldn't to girls called Jean, but then you couldn't say 'hallo' to them, either.
"It's just that when I went to fetch my stuff last night, I found our two fags scrogging in the Sixth Form Centre."
"Oh, the dirty little devils. I shall have to have a little Uncle Jack chat with mine. It'll be interesting to hear what he has to say. I suppose you've already spoken to McLarney?"
"Yes. He said Cholmondeley is gay and he's 'a bit gay'."
"I think it might be a bit more than 'a bit gay'. Jack's voice had sunk to a whisper. According to Cholmondeley McLarney's got a raging crush on you."
"On me?" Kieran went deep red. Inwardly he liked the idea.
"I'd get stuck in there, if I were you."
"That's assuming that I'm gay, of course."
"Well, you are, aren't you?" Kieran maintained a few moments' silence.
"I am," he whispered "and more than a bit. That's why I left my last school."
"You see, I knew you were. I spotted it on the first day," said Jack with more than a touch of triumphalism in his voice.
"OMG, outed on top of a 29 bus. And you're not?"
"Don't be silly, luv. Of course I am... as a rainbow. I told you. My last boyfriend went to New Zealand."
"But you didn't say 'boyfriend'. With me you have to be pretty explicit."
"Haven't you noticed that I've been trying get you involved in the gay community at school? But you wouldn't open up and so it all went tits up."
The bus drew up outside the College and disgorged most of its contents.
"Can we talk about this later?" asked Kieran.
"Sure, but first of all you have one disappointed young man in tow at present. I'd do something about that before you lose him."
"How do you know I want him?"
"C'mon, Kieran, wake up," and Jack gave him a withering smile.
That afternoon Kieran made to leave tea as soon as he saw William and Toby move. He didn't want to waste the opportunity. Strike while the iron's hot.
"Are you coming, Jack?"
"No, it's just the way my trousers hang." Kieran gave him a pitying look. "The old ones are the best ones," Jack grinned. The two boys sauntered towards the Sixth Form Centre to give their fags time to get stuck into their work. They made sure the door banged as they entered so that if something nefarious were going, their fags had due warning of their arrival. Jack went into his study. Toby was in the middle of his chores. "Hi, Toby. How's it going?"
"Fine."
"You don't sound convinced." Toby found a pile of books in a corner that needed some intense tidying. After a few moments' silence "Are you sure?" That was sufficient pressure to get a cough.
"You may as well know," said Toby. "You'll find out anyway. Yesterday Williams found us ragging each other in the Sixth Form Centre."
"During your fagging duties - hardly the right time - and in the Sixth Form Centre - hardly the right place."
"Yes, Jack." Jack remained silent for a few moments. 'Phew, I've got away with it,' thought Toby.
"And that was it?"
"Yes, Jack. That's all he reprimanded us for." Another moment's silence and another phew.
"And that's all you were doing - ragging?"
"Yes, Jack." Jack gave Toby such an intense look that he knew it was all up. "Well, almost all. We were trying to grab one another."
"Grab one another?"
"You know..."
"Unless you tell me, Toby, I don't know. It's not for me to make assumptions." Jack knew how to give someone a hard time.
"Well, you know..."
"Stop this 'you know...'. I don't know. And you sound like a latter day David Beckham without the tattoos and the football skills. Even worse, like Tony Blair, as you have the posh accent."
"We were scrogging."
"Scrogging... grabbing each other's balls?"
"Yes, Jack."
"It is not for me to judge your private life, but that's exactly what it is. Private. Understood?"
"Understood, Jack." He decided to leave Toby to get on with his jobs. He walked along the corridor. Other fags and members of the sixth form were beginning to arrive back from tea. He went and had a chat with some of his mates. In a quieter moment he thought about what it must be like to scrog Toby and considered it might well be fun, though he would probably be a lot gentler than Toby's contemporaries.
Meanwhile back at Kieran's study where Kieran and William were having a conversation. Yesterday had been forgotten about.
"That photo wasn't there yesterday."
"No," said Kieran. "I brought it in this morning."
"Is that your brother?"
"No. I haven't got any brothers and sisters."
"You're like me then, an only child?"
"That's right."
"So is he your best friend?"
"He was, but he had to go away to university and so we don't see one each other anymore."
"Then he was more than a friend," William continued to press.
"You could say that."
"With your arms round each other in that photo you look like boyfriends." William giggled. Kieran blushed. "You can see the love in your faces and eyes." Kieran was amazed at how astute William was. William took the duster and spray polish out of his schoolbag and busied himself dusting.
"Kieran, can I ask you a question?"
"You just did... and without permission." William gave an embarrassed giggle.
"I mean, can I ask you a personal question... a very personal question?" Kieran braced himself.
"Okay." His apprehension could be heard in that one word answer.
"Do you like me?" The wind was taken out of his sails...
"I mean really like me?" ... prematurely.
"What makes you ask that?"
"It's the way you look at me... and the way you let me off so lightly yesterday. Some fagmasters would have given out extra duties. And the way you check me out so often. You like to look at my trousers and my bum." Kieran didn't know what to say. In the manner Kieran had let him off lightly on the previous day, William let him off today and continued with his dusting and polishing. A couple of minutes later he started off again. "You can see them if you like."
"What?"
"My balls and my bum. A lot of senior boys do like to see us juniors. They told us about that at my last school."
"Not in College. I got excluded from my last school for something like that." Kieran realised he had said too much.
"But you'd like to? You'd have to show me yours," he grinned. Kieran realised William had painted him into a corner. He waved the white flag.
"Yes, you're right. I would like to. Why did I have to get the best looking fag of this year's intake?" and giving in completely, he took the boy into a hug.
There was a knock at the door and Kieran could hear Jack calling from outside.
"Are you ready to go home? We'll miss the bus." Kieran returned to reality and shouted
"Okay, Jack, I'm ready," and then to William "That looks fine. That'll do for today. I'll see you tomorrow." Kieran made sure he had all the belongings he needed, checked that his laptop was locked away securely, patted William's butt and left the study cubicle.
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