The Apprentice
by and © N Fourbois
Chapter 8
Eric and Kieran settled down in the living room.
"Do you want a beer before we start, Kieran?"
"No, it's okay, thanks, but I could murder an OJ."
"You know where it's kept. Help yourself." All settled again, Eric opened the conversation. "What's the state of your bank balance?"
"Not too bad," answered Kieran. "I've still got some birthday and Christmas money left. Why?"
"Well, now that you're going out dating, there are several financial obligations."
"That's all right. I expect we'll pay for ourselves."
"No, that's not what I mean. For a start have you thought about contraception?"
"Contraception? Why? It's not as if either of us is going to get pregnant."
"I'll take that answer to my question as a no. Haven't they taught anything about it at school?"
"We did the jonny rolled over the banana bit, if that's what you mean. And that was a bit rushed. Almost as if we have to do this, but let's get it done and over with as soon as possible."
"Lest the Headmaster should walk in and throw a wobbly," added Eric sarkily, picturing the Headmaster's face when he said he found Kieran's misdemeanour distasteful.
"We had to make do with one banana and one condom between two, and they counted them out and they counted them in."
"I think that's symptomatic of the whole place from the little I've seen. Still, we're getting off the point. Did they mention STDs?"
"STDs?"
"Sexually transmitted diseases."
"I can't remember anything like that."
"Did you read that big article about them in QY?"
"I was going to, but they were two of the pages stuck together and most of the print had come off when I got them separated. Interesting article about those two in the centrefold."
"Concentrate, butterfly brain. So here you are, a sexually active young gayboy, about to spend a dirty weekend with a stranger and you know nothing about STDs?"
"Er... no. I didn't think they were important."
"Have you heard about HIV and AIDS?"
"Well, I've read bits in the papers, but that's in London and America and places like that. It doesn't happen here."
"Don't you believe it. That gets us back to contraception. Personally I never fuck on the first date..." Kieran sat up straight when he heard the word 'fuck'. He'd never heard his uncle use the word before and it certainly wasn't acceptable in their family circle, whatever he might have heard said at school. "It's not compulsory and there are lots of other exciting things you can do with your boyfriend. There is an art in going about it so that you don't hurt yourself or your partner, but we can go into detail about that another time. The point I want to make is that if you're going in for penetrative sex, unless certain strict conditions are met, you should use condoms."
"What are those conditions?"
"Okay if you're both virgins; if neither of you have had unprotected sex with anyone else; if you've been together for six months without playing away, and preferably after both of you have had a recent STD test. And better still if you make sure you have clean bottoms before you begin." Kieran's face looked blank with astonishment. "It can be rather unpleasant if you withdraw your dick to find it has your partner's faeces stuck to it. It detracts from the aesthetics and the performance, as it were. Still, let's get back to the subject of condoms. As your libidos will probably take over control from your brains, it's best to be prepared.
"First, keeping one in your wallet 'just in case' is not a good idea. It can easily become damaged, remain there until well past its use-by date and if you're having lots of fun, you'll want more than just one. I buy them in dozens off the internet. They're cheaper, there's more selection and there's less embarrassment, though I did give up the embarrassment bit some years ago. Before we go to bed, we'll go and order a selection for you. You can have them delivered here if you don't want Mum and Dad to start asking questions. They won't arrive in time for this weekend, but you'll have them in future. Meanwhile we'll get them off the shelf at Sainsbury's. Look for three types - extra strong, made for homosexual activity, Avanti - also extra strong as they are not made from rubber, and flavoured ones for blowjobs. Also you will need lube - KY and that's not cheap either. You've probably heard that you can use Vaseline, but only if you're bare-backing and because it's waterproof and doesn't let the skin breathe, your dick feels itchy afterwards."
"There seems such a lot to learn, Eric."
"I know. If you hadn't got a date two days away, I'd have given you all this in bite size chunks instead. It's a good job I am telling you this, after the way your PSHE lessons at school have let you down."
"What are they? We did this in biology."
"Personal, Social and Health Education. That school has a lot to answer for. Anyway, let's get on the internet. Have you got your bank card handy?"
Eric got onto the site he uses and pointed out the various types.
"This is probably the cheapest site, that is until I discover one cheaper, and they don't rip you off with shipping. ... No, three dozen is not too many. If you went on holiday for a fortnight, you'd get through that amount no bother, especially if you're versatile."
"Versatile?"
"I'll talk about that later. Right, they're for the serious job. Now some flavoured ones for fun, okay?" Kieran nodded. "You can do the 'go to the checkout' bit. Hey, wait a mo. If you round your order up to the next five pounds, you can get their special selection box free."
"What's that?"
"It's a pack with samples of all the different types they sell, like ticklers, with or without teat, lubed and non-lubed, spermicidal, for you to try. Add a tube of gel and you'll get there and you can never have too much lube." Kieran clicked on 'Confirm' and the dirty deed was done.
"Now that we've got your wallet open, we'll go onto the next matter."
"What's that?" enquired Kieran keenly. "Versatile?"
"No, one thing at a time. Sit there and close your eyes. Imagine it's Friday evening. After a strenuous day, for you catching up with your schoolwork..."
"Is that a hint?"
"Take it as you will. As I was going to say, for Orlando slaving away serving pizzas at Domino's. You've done whatever you were going to do in town, come back to your place and it's difficult to keep your eyes open. You're going to have an early night. You say good night and you both retire to your bedroom. Knowing you it won't be long before you've got your kit off. In fact you've put Orlando in the mood to undress you, slowly, sensuously. Finally he unbuckles the belt on your trousers, slowly unzips your trousers. They glide to the floor and you step out of them and what does he see? You in a pair of seedy boxers, possibly with one ball half dangling out of the leg." Kieran suddenly opened his eyes.
"No, never. Horrible. I was getting hard until you said that last bit. Even that's gone now."
"So how do you think Orlando's going to react?"
"Just like I did."
"Alternatively you could have been wearing pale blue Y-fronts. How uncool is that?"
"No one wears Y-fronts any more."
"Want a bet?"
"So it's back to the computer?"
"Yes, but not now," said Eric. "We can do that another time when I can show you men's underwear you never dreamt existed."
"Such as?"
"Hmm, let's see. Slips which support your balls, but have a hole for your dick to wave free, slips that are the opposite. They let your bollocks dangle while tightly controlling your cock. Briefs that suppress your tackle, briefs that lift and enhance it. Thongs, padded briefs."
"But why?"
"Some men feel comfortable that way, others feel sexy, some like to create a nice bulge in their trousers, others like the back seam of their trousers to tuck tightly up their cleavage to show off their butt cheeks. Or their boyfriends like it that way."
"I never even thought of these possibilities."
"'There are more things in heaven and earth, Kieran, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.'"
"Hamlet," said Kieran. "We did it for GCSE."
"Correct, my dear nephew. And that's why you need to do an apprenticeship, which I would have called guidance before you suggested the word. You're lucky. I had to discover most of this for myself. Any road up, Thursday is late night shopping. So after the Sainsbug's run we can look around. Debenham's and House of Fraser should be good places to start. M&S can rarely be called sexy, though they're getting to be a little more imaginative. And no, we're not even going to look in Primark's window."
"What about Tommy Hilfiger?"
"Good quality and design, high grade material, especially the cotton, but they are so expensive in Great Britain and Europe that it is almost worth flying across the Atlantic to get them in Canada or the US. I bought a pair of TH boxers, thick white cotton, in the Hudson Bay store in Calgary for the equivalent of £8."
"I thought you said you didn't like boxers?"
"No. I said I didn't think that your boxers were a good idea for a first date. As with everything, they have their correct time and place. But we're getting off the point. Have a think about how you would like to appear to Orlando on Friday, and also how you'd like him to appear to you, and we'll do something about it tomorrow evening."
"And versatile?"
"We'll get a hot drink, then we'll talk about that and then shower and bed. I've got a day's work ahead of me as well as sorting you out, Kieran. Cocoa or Horlicks?"
"Horlicks always sounds good."
Eric and Kieran got comfortable in the living room again and took occasional sips from their Horlicks. 'God, why do I suddenly find this boy so attractive?' Eric pondered to himself. 'I've known him for nearly seventeen years and yet... and yet he's never stirred my loins like this before,' and he had to re-arrange himself as he felt his trousers growing tighter round the crotch. 'It had better be a good weekend with Julian or an act of rape is going to committed.'
"Getting a stiffie, uncle?" asked Kieran cheekily.
"Yes," said Eric curtly and to the point.
"I didn't realise I had that effect on you."
"You do now," said Eric in an annoyed tone, cross with himself rather than with Kieran. Everything he had tried to avoid since finding the boy in his bed and seeing him in his full naked glory was slowly unravelling. Unconsciously Kieran sat there licking his lips and stroking the inside of his thigh. If he had known he was doing it, he was too naïve to realise how additionally sexy and attractive it made him look. "I'm sorry, Kieran. I'm going to have to do something about this."
"Anything I can do to help?" Kieran was on known territory at this point.
"Plenty," said Eric, "but it would be a breach of trust." He disappeared into the bathroom and Kieran could hear the shower running. Ten minutes later Eric returned in sweats and a tanktop, his hair still wet, but combed.
"Cold shower?" said Kieran continuing his impertinence.
"Quite the opposite actually. Hot. It couldn't have been hotter." The significance of his words was not lost on Kieran. Still, let's change the subject. This word versatile, for some reason you've picked up on it. Again, close your eyes. You're walking along the street, or maybe you're in school, and you see this guy you fancy. What makes you fancy him?"
"It depends. It could be his face. Then if he has a face I like, I try to look at his trousers to see if there's a bulge. On the other hand, if I see his bulge first, I immediately look at his face. If I like both, I definitely fancy him. If I like his face, but he's not sporting a bulge, I probably still fancy him."
"What about if you see him from the back?"
"Unless he's got a very attractive arse, I don't tend to take a lot of notice."
"Okay. You see this pretty boy. What's the next thing you think?"
"I'd like to get him up against a wall and give his balls a thorough, but gentle feel."
"You don't feel you want to have sex with him?"
"You mean shag his arse?"
"That, or get him to shag yours?"
"Not really. Perhaps because my sex life has not developed that far."
"Would you like to do that?"
"Only when I'd got to know him, but I think I'd quite willingly jerk off a stranger, if he were willing."
"That didn't help. Let's try a different approach. If I see a guy I fancy, I think to myself one of two things; either 'I'd like to give his butt a good poking' or 'I'd really like to feel him inside me'. Because I'm prepared to have sex either way that makes me versatile. A lot of gay men, though, only like sex one way. If they prefer to penetrate they're known as a top and if they prefer to be penetrated, they're called a bottom. You need to get that sorted out early on in a relationship, and if you're both virgins, you may well have to experiment to find out. That's enough school for tonight. Get your shower, Kieran. I'll wash these mugs up, then we'll get to bed."
"Thank you, Uncle Eric. When I think back to the first time me and a friend had a jerk off session together, I never realised what it would lead to and how much I didn't know."
Kieran had his shower, dried himself off, put his towel over his should and wandered into the kitchen. Eric's heart jumped.
"I wish you wouldn't do that, Kieran, especially now you know I fancy you."
"Do what?"
"Pose naked in front of me."
"Sorry, but I wanted to ask you one more question. When I was showering, I pulled back my foreskin and there was all this yellow cheesy looking stuff there. Does that mean I've got an STD?"
"No, Kieran. It's called smegma and it's quite natural. You can google it... Tomorrow! But what it means is that you haven't been washing properly there."
"But I don't usually get it."
"Ah! I've got it. It's from when you were wearing that cage. You wouldn't have been able to wash under your foreskin. Circumcised men don't get it. Come on now. I want to go to bed. Good night, Kieran," and they hugged. "And stay in your own bed tonight."
"I will, uncle. I promise. Good night."
Authors deserve your feedback. It's the only payment they get. If you go to the top of the page you will find the author's name. Click that and you can email the author easily.* Please take a few moments, if you liked the story, to say so.
[For those who use webmail, or whose regular email client opens when they want to use webmail instead: Please right click the author's name. A menu will open in which you can copy the email address (it goes directly to your clipboard without having the courtesy of mentioning that to you) to paste into your webmail system (Hotmail, Gmail, Yahoo etc). Each browser is subtly different, each Webmail system is different, or we'd give fuller instructions here. We trust you to know how to use your own system. Note: If the email address pastes or arrives with %40 in the middle, replace that weird set of characters with an @ sign.]
* Some browsers may require a right click instead
