Backdoor Slider - A Love Story
by Joe L
Chapter 58
Senior Prom is finally here. I've been looking forward to it and dreading it simultaneously for a long time. I know it's going to be a romantic evening, but I don't want Luke and myself to be the gay poster boys and have everyone staring at us all evening. I just want to do one slow dance with him, and otherwise just hang out and dance with our friends. I have hope, though. Luke's and my relationship has become less of a novelty this year. For most kids, it's like, "Yeah, there are these two hot gay guys that go to our school, but they're cool and it's no big deal."
"How do I look?" Luke walks into the living room. He wouldn't let me see him get ready.
"Holy cum stain, Batman!" I have been a little angry at Luke for cutting his hair. He cut it shorter than it's ever been, but now I see why. He's got this really dapper Calvin Klein suit on and he slicked his hair back. He's ready for a photo shoot... that is, until I ravage him.
"Heyyyy, no cum stains! And don't look at me like that, G! It took me a long time to get the tie right. If you wanted to do it, you shoulda said something before we got dressed."
"Don't blame me! You're the one that dressed up specifically to give me wood! Get in that bedroom!"
"Nuh-uh!" He plants his feet.
"Okay, I'm just gonna kiss you then," I walk up to him and put my arms up over his shoulders and stare into his eyes. It's gonna be so awesome for me later when we have our arms around each other on the dance floor, looking up at the hottest guy in school. I slowly bring my lips to his. I know he's gonna give in because I look super-hot in my suit, too. I give him the slowest, wettest kiss I can. Man, he tastes good.
"Dammit!" Luke picks me up, and I laugh and kiss him on our way to his bedroom. I knew he couldn't resist. "All right. Quick blowjobs or sixty-nine?" he asks after I release him from a liplock.
"Nah, you're too sexy for that. I need to feel your luuuvvv. I have to have you inside of me."
"C'mon, G!"
"Hey, I'm the one that will have to walk around all night with cum in my ass. I just HAVE to have it right now. Sit over there." I point at his computer chair. I get out of my pants in record time, as Luke unzips his pants and frees his dick from his boxer briefs.
"Damn, look at him," Luke gives his ripply, hard dick a gentle jerk as he sits on his computer chair. "I think he feels the same way you do. He wants it bad!"
"I thought he might be on my side."
"Lemme lube up," Luke reaches for the tube behind him, but I stop him.
"Nah, lemme just give it a quick slurp," I take his dick in his mouth and slobber all over it. I hear Luke gasp with a wave of pleasure.
"Fuck… that felt good!" Luke's neck flops back and he opens his mouth as I position myself on his lap, pressing his warm, wet dick inside of me. I put my arms over his shoulders, and I touch my forehead to his as he brings his head back up to look at me.
"How 'bout this?" I whisper, biting my lip and rocking slightly on his lap, surely bringing him a nice tingle in his dick.
"Ahhhhhh... I'm not gonna be able to last long, G. You're just so fucking hot in that suit, and this feels soooo good."
"This is just what I needed," I pant. "I need to feel your love, and I need to watch you go crazy under me."
"That's what I'm doin," his eyes roll back in his head and his neck flops back with another intense wave. "Ahhhhh, G."
I continue very gently sliding myself on his lap, loving the visual signs of pleasure on his face as well as the warmth of his arms around my back. We're going to have such an amazing night. The hotel where our prom is being held is just down the street from our birthday sex hotel. We've booked our usual suite there for after the prom so that we can make the night extra special. I can't believe that we're not banned from that hotel just from the amount of sex juice we've left in that room. I close my eyes and picture Luke holding me in the Jacuzzi tub and rubbing me all over my body. I flip over and start making out with him–
"Uhhhhnnnn... oh yeah.... gonna cum…." Luke snaps me back to reality, and I press my lips on his and speed up my movements to get that dick squirting hard inside of me. "MMMMM!!!" Luke squeals into my mouth as I feel his cum being pumped through me. I let loose an incredible orgasm in my own shorts, as well. I hope that the toilet paper I cleverly stuffed in my underwear for just this reason will keep me from actually getting cum stains on my black pants.
It's the perfect beginning to the perfect evening. I continue to sit on his lap, slowly running my tongue around his, not wanting to get up. Maybe if I sit here long enough, we can go again. Unfortunately, Luke pats my behind, putting a halt to things.
"Awww," I sigh.
"Sorry dude, I gotta piss. Then we gotta go!"
We get ourselves presentable and make sure there's no evidence of sex. We head out the door, making a quick stop in the entry way of his apartment for our "last chance before we go out in public" kiss. We got permission from the parents to drive ourselves to the hotel, so we jump in our car and head off.
"G, that was so hot," Luke says, still a little breathless. "I could just take you to our hotel right now and skip the prom."
"Uhh, yeah... okay with me," I smile, glancing over at him.
"Nah, gotta think straight. We owe it to our friends and each other. We only get one prom... but when we get to our hotel room tonight, let's do that again... but this time, let's just jizz all over our suits. You wanna?" His smile is impossible to resist.
"You know how hard it is to get cum stains out of our clothes? Well, I guess I'm kind of an expert by now." We both chuckle, but I always feel a pang of annoyance when we talk about me doing laundry. I have to beg Luke to do any laundry or fold anything... I do almost all of it.
"Hey," Luke takes my right hand in his while I drive. He locks our fingers together and gives me a loving squeeze.
"What?" I get chills running through my body. It's amazing he can still do that just by touching me.
"I have a surprise for you, too," he says quietly.
"Tell! Tell!" I plead.
"No way... I gotta wait for the perfect time," he smiles, enjoying my impatient curiosity.
"You've already asked me to marry you about a million times, and the answer's still yes."
"Glad to hear it, but that's not it," he beams with satisfaction.
I wonder what it could be. He's mentioned being able to get some alcohol, but I don't want it tonight. I want to have all of my senses and brain cells for the passion that we're going to experience at the hotel. I have no idea what he's up to, but I guess I'll just have to trust him.
We arrive at our prom fashionably late. As expected, everyone starts fawning all over Luke. He's sexier than ever, and everyone notices. The only attention I get all evening is when someone jokingly nudges me with their elbow and says, "Man, you're gonna have fun tonight!" or some girl says how she's going to steal Luke away from me. Yeah right!
Luke pays a lot of attention to me, which is something that I was worried about. When we're in social situations, Luke is often the center of attention, and he will sometimes forget I'm there. However, tonight, everything is perfect. We've danced with girls and groups several times, but we've been waiting for the perfect song for our slow dance. The night is growing long, so I know the slow dances will start. Eventually, Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You" starts. Luke holds out his hand to me with a raised eyebrow.
"Yeah, that'll work." I smile and take his hand and we head out with the other couples. I put my arms around him, close my eyes and lay my cheek on his shoulder. He gives me a warm embrace, and we just sway together as the song plays. I can feel his heart beating even through both of our suits. I try to stay in the moment so I can remember the love I feel right now. Nothing else matters. I hug Luke extra tight with a big sigh and I feel him kiss me on the forehead.
The song ends, and Luke says something to me, which I don't understand. It's partly because of the noise and partly because the dance and Luke's arms around me have put me into a stupor.
"Huh?" I ask, looking around. I expect to see a bunch of high school gawkers, but no one really paid much attention to us. All I see are a couple of girls who we hang out with wiping a tear away from the corner of their eyes. I bet our dance did look pretty touching.
"I said, it's time for your surprise," Luke has to say fairly loud directly in my ear so I can hear him.
"Okay." I bite my lip and he takes my hand and leads me away. We eventually make it out of the convention center where the dance is held and we find ourselves in the hotel lobby.
"Where are we going?" I ask, as he continues to lead me by the hand, almost jogging.
"You'll find out soon."
We head down other hallways and finally to a back staircase, where we head up stairs quickly.
"Dude! We're going to the roof?" I almost trip on the first few stairs as he continues to pull me by the hand.
"Yep, it's only six flights." He gives me that irresistible smile, and I try to run around him past the first turn. It quickly turns into a race, and we both scamper up the stairs in no time. I beat him easily, as speed is one of the things I have on him since he broke his ankle. We get to the roof access door that has been left open a crack by a piece of paper folded up many times and jammed into the little hole where the door latches. I expect to see a picnic basket or a violin player or a sleeping bag or something... but there's nothing.
"What are we doing here?" I ask dreamily, as we walk over to the edge.
"Look, there's our hotel," he points down the road.
"Yeah, I think I can see our room from here. It's the second one from the corner. See it?"
"Yeah," he takes a deep breath, and I can hear apprehension in his voice.
"So... what's my surprise?" I look back at him with a smile, trying to hide my own nerves.
"I don't really know how to do this," he starts as he grabs both of my hands in his, and we face each other.
"What?" My voice shakes as my nerves clearly overwhelm my cool demeanor.
"Okay. You know I love you more than anything right?"
"Yeah."
"And you know we're going to be together forever, right?"
"Yeah," I breathe a sigh of relief.
"Okay, I want tonight to be absolutely perfect. I want it to be like our first night together... or the night we got you out of that hellhole brain-washing place... or your seventeenth birthday... or the night we met Joshie and Marco... I want it to be one of those really special nights, but even better."
"Wow, those will be tough to top, but I have faith in us." I start to give him a kiss but he stops me and holds my hands tight, looking in my eyes with grave seriousness.
"G, we CAN do it... but it's all up to you. I know there's something going on. I know there's something that's been bothering you. I feel it when we're alone together, just hangin' out. You can't even look me in the eyes sometimes. I feel it when we're making love. Sometimes, I'm so into you... and I look at you.... You look like you're about to cry. I've asked you before, and you always say it's nothing, but it's time. Whatever it is, it's going to be fine! You have a free pass tonight. Whatever it is, you're completely off the hook. Just unburden yourself now and we can have the night of our lives!"
"It's nothing, I swear! Let's just go to the hotel." My voice cracks as I try to pull him back towards the door, but he doesn't budge. Now, I'm in trouble.
"G, I'm not moving from this spot. If you want to go on to the hotel, you go ahead. I'll be right here waiting for you... but I'm not leaving this spot until you tell me. It's time."
"Luke, I swear... please–" All of a sudden, I burst out in tears. I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't going to do this until after we've graduated. I wanted to go over it in my mind a million times to practice what I was going to say before it actually happened. It's going to be really bad, and the last thing I want to do is hurt him, especially tonight.
"C'mon G, you can tell me anything." He takes me in his arms and tries to comfort me, and I continue to sob.
"Luke... please... this isn't the night for this... please...." I snivel and snot all over his suit jacket, but he doesn't care.
"Just take your time, G." He rubs my back as he hugs me, but I can tell he's not going to back down. Shit. Fucking, shit ass mother-fucking SHIT!!!
"All I wanted was tonight to be perfect, too," I sniffle. "I don't want to ruin it, but now I have to."
"I already told you, you're off the hook, whatever it is. Just tell me, and we'll get on with our lives, and we'll get on with our perfect night. Trust me, you'll feel better."
"Okay, but you have to look me in the eyes and promise me again."
"I promise. Whatever it is, we'll be fine." He looks as serious as I've ever seen him. He's so brave, and he loves me so much. I can feel my heart ripping in half, just looking at him.
"Okay," I take a deep breath and look down at my feet. "I'm not going with you–" I choke, trying to get the words out of my mouth.
"Huh?"
"I'm not going to Arizona State. I'm going to USC." I continue to stare at my feet, hoping he'll say something. I don't want to look at his face, but I have to... kind of like not wanting to look at a car accident, but you do anyway. I slowly look up at him, and I see the one thing I didn't want to see… fear.
"How–" He croaks out one word as tears well up in his eyes.
"You just have to listen to me for a minute." Here comes my speech, my defense. Now I have to do it without thinking about what I was going to say in the least hurtful way possible. "You knew there were other scouts out there watching me, and you knew I had a bunch of scholarship offers. We never even discussed where we were going to go, and then you committed to ASU without even talking to me first."
"But that was always the plan! Even before we were a couple, we were always gonna go to Arizona State together." The fear is quickly being replaced by anger. Now, I'm scared.
"Yeah, but that was way before I even had a prayer... even a thought... that I could get an athletic scholarship."
"EXACTLY!" He lets go of my hands and points at my face. "If it wasn't for me BEGGING you to join the football team with me, you'd have never gotten your fucking scholarship!" I was hoping he wouldn't make that connection.
"MY scholarship was because of MY talent and MY hard work, NOT because of you!" I hoped it wouldn't come to this, but somehow I knew it would.
"Whatever, dude," Luke tries to laugh it off and wipes tears away as he looks off into the sky.
"Don't think this was an easy decision for me," I continue, hoping I can explain my thinking process. "I have the opportunity to go to a GREAT school and get a GREAT education. You know I want to go to law school, and USC has a great Pre-law program. I know ASU has a great baseball program, but they're just not a good school for academics. In fact, they're... very poor."
"I can't believe this," Luke shakes his head as tears continue to fall down his cheeks.
"You remember when I talked to Coach Kiffin when he came to recruit me? Man, he really did his homework. He knew about you and me, and he knew that you had already committed to ASU. He told me that whenever athletes picked their schools based on boyfriends and girlfriends, it always was a disaster."
"But we're DIFFERENT! You know that!" He can no longer look at me. He keeps staring off in the distance.
"It was like he knew me before he even met me. He told me how I needed to do what's best for me at this point and if I didn't, everything would fall apart."
"He would've said anything to make you come to his school. That's his fucking JOB. He's a BULLSHITTER!"
"Maybe, but I kept having this vision.... of me... in our dorm room. I was wearing a nightgown and hair curlers.... It's so stupid... and I'm waiting for you to get home... or back to the dorm at night like a pathetic, unappreciated housewife. You eventually stumble in, drunk off your ass, and fall in bed wanting to fuck. I'm there, having done all of my schoolwork AND yours. I've done all of our laundry and cleaned our room. It's just like what we've struggled with our entire relationship... but I give in. We fuck, and everything is perfect for a few hours. But afterwards, I lie there while you sleep, completely exhausted but unable to drift off. I lie there hating myself and resenting you. I resent you keeping me from the education that I need to fulfill my future... and I hate myself for following you. Our relationship sours until it all ends with an ugly fight–"
"So you're punishing me for something imaginary. Something stupid thing you made up in your own head."
"Don't you see? That's exactly how it would be! Except, I wouldn't be in a nightgown and curlers, but everything else is exactly right. You make friends so much easier than I do. You'd be out all the time having fun, and I'd be in our room, trying to keep our lives, our educations and our scholarships on track. I'd have to help you with all of your work, if not do it all. You know you're not ready for college-level work. It would all be up to me. I'd be your bitch... and you know how I feel about that."
"You have no idea–"
"But with us going to different schools... I'll get to see you lots this summer. I will have a lot of team practice, but I can come home a lot... and during school, well... we can Skype every day... and when we see each other, it will be so great. Having to miss each other a little will really do wonders for our relationship. I'll be happy... and not resentful, and we'll have a great future."
"YOU'LL be happy." He shakes his head again and turns away from me to hide more tears.
"Hey, you promised me... that whatever it was–"
"YOU broke the promise... that we'd always be together. THAT goes way beyond anything I promised."
"Let's just get out of here. Let's go to our hotel room and talk it out."
"Why don't YOU go back to the hotel room? You can decide what's best for OUR future and keep convincing yourself that YOU'RE right! Then you can go FUCK YOURSELF!"
He heads towards the door, and I try to grab his arm. He violently jerks it away from me, and breaks into a sprint, quickly disappearing down the stairs. I run my fastest after him, but this time, he easily separates himself from me. By the time I make it to the parking lot, he has completely disappeared as I look in every direction. I scream with pain and frustration, but the air outside remains silent. All I can do is head for our hotel and hope... maybe he'll show up and we can at least talk....
Well, it never happened. It's two weeks after graduation, and I'm all packed up to head to L.A. for summer practice. I haven't spoken to Luke since prom night. That is, he hasn't spoken to me. Denise told me to give him his space, but I could tell from her voice that she feels a little betrayed, too.
I didn't bother him at school and didn't frequent our usual spots. Some of our friends told me that he would eventually come around, and some of them thought I was a dick for going to another school and lying to Luke. I just couldn't tell him, though. I knew deep inside that it would go just like it did, and then our entire senior year would be ruined whenever he found out. Luke might have even dropped out of school or tried to get out of his scholarship. Still, I also know deep inside, that going to ASU with him would've turned out very badly.
I texted Luke several times a day. I never got a reply. Eventually, last week, he either changed his cell phone number or had it disconnected completely. I also sat in the parking lot outside of his apartment... often for hours. I even once got up the nerve to let myself in his apartment, but he changed his locks. I never saw him once. He either never left his room or he wasn't even living there at all. It was like he disappeared off the face of the earth.
I somehow make it through my mother's tearful goodbye, and I head out to my fully-packed car, ready to head to my new school. Dad walks me out and gives me a warm embrace that I wasn't expecting. It overwhelms me and I find myself sobbing into his shirt.
"I know it's hard son," Dad says fighting back some tears of his own, "but you did the right thing. You did the hardest thing you'll ever have to do, but you did the right thing."
"I did the STUPIDEST thing!" I wail. "I fucked EVERYTHING up!"
"We've been over this a hundred times, Garrett. You did the only thing that would give you and Luke a chance. You're so smart, and you're so strong."
I start up the car, with an eight hour drive ahead of me. I can't resist the temptation to drive by Luke's place one more time before I get on the freeway, just in case. It's kind of on the way... well, it's only ten minutes out of my way. I pull into his parking lot and park in my normal spot. So many times, I parked in this same spot and was just seconds away from being in his bed with him inside of me, loving me. Now, I feel a million miles away from that. Damn, it's been almost a month since we last had sex. I almost feel like I'm a virgin again... Sometimes I even feel like all of that sex we had was just a fantasy, and none of it ever happened.
Just like all the other times, no sign of Luke... no sign of life. I reluctantly get back in my car and start my journey. I get on the interstate for a long drive... a drive full of thoughts of Luke and how things could've gone different. I'd better not play any sad music.
I try to replay all of our great times in my head, but our bad times keep intruding. Is it possible that all of the teenage horniness and my obsession with the physical part of our relationship hid the truth? Is it possible that sex is the only thing we had in common? Is it possible that we're just too different and shouldn't be in a relationship? Is it possible that we're just incompatible? Is it possible... that it's over?
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