Just Hit 'Send' - The High School Years
by Grasshopper
Ch. 5
Jordan says: What was that?
Danny Says: I'm not sure but it felt ::blush:: reallllllly good.
Both boys were trying to understand what had just happened. Both were so psyched and they hadn't even met; not even seen each other. Not really. But the pictures had been overwhelming. Neither picture was sexy; it was just that somehow the face, the words and the feelings just took over. Giggling and mopping up, Jordan typed:
Jordan says: Well, does this mean we're going steady? Heehee
Danny says: Wait, I can't see the screen good yet. LOL
Jordan says: Need windshield wipers?
Danny says: My God ! That was.......................
Jordan says: Yeah, it was
Danny says: Jordy, have you ever..............?
Jordan says: no............you?
Danny says: no
Jordan says: Are you okay with it?
Danny says: If you are.....are you?
Jordan says: I think so..........yeah, I think so :)
Danny says: me too then :)
Again, way into the night, they giggled and laughed and argued and began, in a funny little way, to fall in 'like'.
Jordan says: Dan, is it okay if I ask where you live?
Danny says: sure........
Jordan says: um.......doofus? where?
Danny says: probably a million miles away from you :(
Jordan says: cough it up.......Alaska? Somalia? Antarctica? Chicago?
Danny says: nah..........I live in Florida
Jordan says: WHAT???
Danny says: Florida...........you know that state that looks like a dick heehee
Jordan says: My God Dan!! I live in Florida.............WHERE??????????
Jordan waited for Danny to answer, his mind tumbling over the fact that this new very important person in his life, not only liked him but lived close enough to touch him. He waited impatiently for Danny to tell him where.
Jordan says: Dan.............Yo! Dan............where???? I'm dying here.
Danny stared at the keyboard. He had never thought that this would happen. What an idiot. He never should have answered that post. What the hell was he gonna do? He sat frozen, his fingers wanted to answer, his mind screaming, 'No!' Finally, he typed:
Danny says: Daytona
Jordan says: This gets better and better. I live about 2 hours southwest of you, right up above Orlando. I've been to Daytona bodysurfing bunches of times.........hey, just think, we were probably at the beach at the same time. Is this the kewlest thing, or what?
Danny says: yeah, way cool, Jordy
Jordan felt something alter, shift. He didn't know what it was.
Jordan says: Hey Dan? You ARE happy we live near, aren't you?
Danny knew if he hesitated, he'd hurt Jordan and that was the last thing he wanted to do...ever.
Danny says: OF COURSE!! :) :) :) :) :)
Jordan says: whew ! you scared me there
Danny says: nope, just thinking is all
Jordan says: Wanna get together? Movies or the arcade or something?
Danny says: sure, sometime, that would be great
Jordan says: this weekend?
Danny wanted to turn off the computer. He wanted to run and hide. He wanted.............damn, he wanted to meet Jordan, look at him, let him allow Danny to smile, to laugh. Danny so wanted to be near Jordan. Jordan was everything Danny had ever wanted to be.
Jordan knew he was pushing. Danny was probably panicked. Maybe he didn't really like him. Jordan felt himself begin to withdraw.
Jordan says: well, maybe not this weekend.....I got stuff to do
Danny says: Me too........we'll get together soon though
Both uncomfortable suddenly, Jordan typed:
Jordan says: I better get going
Danny says: yeah, me too..........Jordan?
Jordan says: yeah?
Danny says: It's not you, K?
Jordan says: no?
Danny says: no
Jordan says: will you tell me what it is?
Danny says: sometime, but please don't go away. I don't mean now, I mean.......
Jordan says: I know what you mean. I won't go if you don't want me to
Danny says: I don't Jordan. I don't.
Jordan says: K night Daniel
Danny says: Nite Jordan........... Jordan?
Jordan says: hmm?
Danny says: I really like you
Jordan says: :) me too
Logging off, Jordan sat slumped in his chair, his jeans still around his feet, his boxers tangled around his knees. What had gone wrong? What had he said? Pulling himself together, he kicked the jeans across the room and threw the sticky boxers toward the pile of dirty clothes in the corner. Damn! He tried so hard to please, to make people happy. Why did it all come down around him like a pile of playing cards? What had he said?
Danny lay quietly face down on his bed, tears welling in the corners of his eyes. This was supposed to make him happy. Why was he feeling so miserable? He wanted to meet Jordan. Hell, he wanted to hug him, hold on for dear life. He thought about kissing another boy. He held up the picture he'd printed out and looked at Jordan's mouth, at that crooked smile. He wanted to put his mouth there.......just there where the dimples creased at the corners. He knew his lips would be warm and soft and sweet. Danny felt himself harden at the thought. Pressing himself into the bed, he gently pumped his hips, letting his mind begin to dream. In his fantasy, he was lying on the beach, his body covered with banana lotion, his tanned legs stretched the length of the brightly colored towel. He could hear the voices of some guys playing volleyball nearby. Turning his head, he picked out the one boy that they were all yelling to.
"Jordy! Whack it, man. Over here! Cream it, Jord!" he shifted his gaze and found the boy, the center of everyone's attention. He watched as a boy about his age rose up in the air, tanned body glistening with sweat, white baggies riding low almost to the crack in his butt and whammed the ball with his two hands laced tightly together. He watched as the boy landed gracefully in the sand and then raced closer to the net to lower his hand and send the ball sailing back over. Pushing his long blond hair out of his eyes, the boy grinned a wicked grin, his crooked smile lighting his face.
Danny nestled his face in his arms and let the dream take him. He could feel his body urging him to get to the point......that point where he had no choice but to let go. 'Not yet', he thought. He slowly moved his hips in rhythm with the sound of the surf in his fantasy.
The sand hot, the sun blaring, he felt a coolness wave over him. Shading his eyes, he looked up to find his fantasy boy standing over him. Close up, he could see the line of golden hair trailing down from his bellybutton and the unmistakable bulge in his white baggies. One hand on his hip, the other extended, the boy said, "Danny, come on."
Danny got up and took his hand. Walking to the edge of the shore, they stood in the surf, the cold water of the Atlantic soothing. Danny realized that all the other people were gone. It was just the two of them.
"Dare you, Danny," the boy said as he grinned and dropped his baggies onto the sand, standing proudly, his body straight and smooth, totally unashamed in his nudity. All Danny could do was stare. He wanted to feel his skin, to touch that part of him that was pulsing, that was jutting toward that same hot sun. "Come on, Danny," the boy laughed.
Danny reached hesitantly and let his navy swim trunks fall to the sand. He turned his head, his eyes down. He didn't want to see the look in the other boy's eyes.
A hand touched his face. The boy stepped closer, until he was right in front of him. "You know who I am," he whispered. "I'm Jordan. You know me." He put his hands on Danny's face, fingertips grazing his sideburns, thumbs touching the corners of his mouth. "Danny? You're beautiful, you know. Perfect."
Danny's tears, hot and searing, pushed him. His body pushed him. He ground into the bed, and let the feelings flow. He felt the tingling grow to an inescapable surge and finally he came, in great racking spurts, tears mingled with joy. He wasn't perfect. He was just Danny. Oh God, what had he done?
Jordan spent the next few weeks backpedaling, trying to figure out why Danny didn't want to meet him. He knew that now. He and Griff had talked about it. Griff thought maybe Danny was just shy and this was all too new. Jordan was getting to know Danny better and was beginning to read his moods a little. He knew it was more than that.
Griff suggested just driving over and surprising him but this was too important. Jordan knew Danny'd never forgive him for that. It had to be on Danny's terms or not at all.
So, they talked about everything and nothing; music and movies and computer games and tv and...................everything except what needed to be said. They jerked off and talked softly about how it made them feel. They talked about wanting to kiss, to touch, to hold each other. Finally, one night, just as the moonlight was moving across the curtains and the sound of breathing was all Jordan could hear, he asked:
Jordan says: Dan?
Danny says: what?
Jordan says: I would really like to meet you. I kind of want you to tell me if you do or not. I don't want anything from you, just to meet you and talk to you.
Danny says: What if I said I can't?
Jordan says: I guess I would ask why
Danny says: What if I can't tell you?
There was a long pause. Danny knew he was losing him.
Jordan says: I need to know. I can't get past that it's me. I hurt all the time.
Danny says: God! It isn't you. It could never be you.
Jordan says: Then what is it?
Danny couldn't lose him, not like this. He knew he had to do something. So, Danny did the only thing he could.
Danny says: Okay.........I'll meet you
Jordan says: Don't do me any favors
Danny says: Don't be like that !
Jordan says: How do you expect me to be?
Danny says: Jordan............Jordy.......I want more than anything to meet you.
Jordan says: That's better :) When and where?
Danny had already thought this through. He didn't want Jordan coming to the house because there'd be too many questions. He had thought of a place, a perfect place.
Danny says: Let's meet Saturday at the big aquarium on the beach. I'll meet you at 10:00 at the shark tank.
Jordan says: OKAY !! I'm so excited !! Griff will bring me and I'll make him go away :)
Danny says: Please......I 'm not too good with people
Jordan says: You're mighty good with me :)
Danny says: That's cause you make me feel special.
Jordan says: You are special, Daniel Alan Trainor
Danny: you too..............always
Jordan says: Hey ! I'll bring my extra skateboard. I'll teach you that flip I was telling you about.
Danny says: I told you I'm no good with skateboards.
Jordan says: You didn't have ME to teach you !!! heehee
The conversation ended the same way it had been ending for all these weeks but there was a new urgency, a new excitement. They were going to finally meet. Jordan was going to finally touch him. Maybe it would be all right after all. As Danny's hand slowed, as his heart beat eased, he hoped so with all his heart.
Jordan didn't have to beg Griff. "If I don't take you over there soon, you're gonna drive me crazy," he laughed. "I'll go to the beach and hit on chicks while you go to the aquarium and meet your ::giggle:: boyfriend." That turned into a wrestling match to end all wresting matches, with no winner, only two hysterical best friends; one so excited he couldn't behave and one so hoping that this was what would make Jordan happy. That's all Griff ever wanted.
Saturday finally came. Jordan was up with the sun, dancing and singing until his mama grabbed him by the back of his shirt. "What's going on?" she smiled. "I've never seen you in such a state."
'I wish I could tell you, mama,' Jordan thought. This was the only cloud on his horizon. He couldn't tell anyone. "I'm just going to Daytona with Griff and the guys. You know I love to go to the beach." That wasn't a lie.
"There's more to it than that," she laughed. "Are girls going too?" Something flickered behind Jordan's eyes and quickly disappeared.
"Nope, just the guys, Mama." Jordan hoped a time would come when he could look at his mama and tell her what he was feeling. But that time wasn't today.
Driving over, they stopped for burgers and Dr Pepper and listened to this crazy 'Oldie Goldie' disco CD they had found in Griff's mom's cabinet. His feet on the dashboard, Jordan closed his eyes and let Danny's beautiful blue eyes fill his mind. He could see the serious expression that he wanted to make go away. He could feel the soft black curls as he gently held Danny's head and they finally......finally kissed.
Griff glanced over and then did a double take. "Hey, Dude! You're gonna put someone's eye out with that!" Jordan opened his eyes and then blushed as he looked down in his lap. His white shorts were tightly tented as his body strained against the cotton. "Oops!" he grinned.
"Well, save it for Danny," Griff giggled. "I don't even wanna know what you were just thinking."
Driving up to the main entrance to the aquarium, Griff said, "I'll be back here at 5:00. DO NOT forget about me, dickweed." He reached over and punched Jordan in the arm lightly. That was as close to a kiss as they ever came. "Take it easy, Jord," he said softly. "Be cool."
Jordan climbed out and grabbed the two skateboards from the backseat. He couldn't wait to get in and at the same time he wanted to go home. The only thought keeping him going was that Danny was feeling exactly the same way.
Waving to Griff, he pulled out his wallet and paid the lady at the booth. "Which way is the shark tank?" he asked the guide.
Pointed in the right direction, Jordan Anderson Lawrence began the longest walk of his life. He knew that no matter how this ended, no matter what happened, he would never be the same. It might be Danny. It might not, but he was changing and this was for real.
He saw the sign that read, THERE BE SHARKS!! and knew he was finally here. He was going to meet Danny, the boy he had dreamed about for so many weeks. He walked to the opening and saw a bunch of tourists clustered around a harried tour guide, an elderly couple and lots of loose children. He glanced around nonchalantly, in case Danny was watching and would giggle at him. He didn't see another boy his age, only a teenage boy and girl making faces at the poor sharks and a kid in a wheelchair.
Jordan looked at his watch. It was ten after 10. He wasn't early. Where was Danny? He wheeled around the throng one more time and then, with a heart stopping thud, his eyes found the mop of curly black hair.
Jordan looked down at the two skateboards in his hands and then back up at the quiet figure in the wheelchair. His eyes filled with tears. He realized now full on why Danny hadn't wanted to meet him. Why he had been so hesitant. Jordan was struck by a wave of pity so strong he couldn't control it. Slowly, carefully, he turned and walked out the door.
Danny sat watching Jordan's reaction in the glass of the shark tank, bittersweet tears flowing down his cheeks, a sad but understanding look on his beautiful face.
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